This Guy keeps looking at me... Watch

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HumbleBee_x
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long story short

I pick my sisters up from school most of the time. this dude picks up his sisters (I think...or maybe his nieces, or cousins..idk and idc) I see him once in a while. And this guy won't stop glaring at me, today he was in a suit and he looked kinda different (I think it was him...or maybe his brother??..but he still behaved like the guy i'm talking about) I was on my way to the school, and I saw him on the phone across the street, he quickly came over to my side and he was still on the phone looking at me (ngl It was acc painfully uncomfortable, I just looked down), until I was in front of him, he then started walking towards the school behind me. And I could just sense the guy looking at me up and down (it's not a nice feeling), once I got to the school, I realised he was going to the school too, as I could smell his cologne and hear his keys behind me, I turned around and gave him this subtle dirty look. I was waiting for my sisters to come out, and he was waiting for his aswell, there was this fence type thing in between us, and he was still turning around tryna make sure he doesn't lose me,
once my sisters came out I turned around to see if the guy was still looking at me, thank god he wasn't he was talking to someone else, and I legged it out of the school gates and didnt see him … now this isn't the only guy, theres a couple others, but their glances are much more modest compared to him

Now lemme just say... I dress like a tramp when I do the pickup, I obviously dress modest, like today I wore my sixthform clothes, a long skirt and a blouse and a pair of flats. I wear no makeup, I just have my keys in my hands, no attractive, designer bag

I really don't know what to do!!!, I tell my mum, she says just keep lowering your gaze, but I do!

But its come to a point where I acctually don't like it, im pretty sure the guy works or something while i'm here tryna do my A-levels!
Shall I say something to him? what do I do? I can't just stop picking up my sisters because of these pervy men


EDIT: Sorry I didn't structure this properly, and icba to change my grammar x
Last edited by HumbleBee_x; 1 week ago
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yzanne
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(Original post by HumbleBee_x)
long story short

I pick my sisters up from school most of the time. this dude picks up his sisters (I think...or maybe his nieces, or cousins..idk and idc) I see him once in a while. And this guy won't stop glaring at me, today he was in a suit and he looked kinda different (I think it was him...or maybe his brother??..but he still behaved like the guy i'm talking about) I was on my way to the school, and I saw him on the phone across the street, he quickly came over to my side and he was still on the phone looking at me (ngl It was acc painfully uncomfortable, I just looked down), until I was in front of him, he then started walking towards the school behind me. And I could just sense the guy looking at me up and down (it's not a nice feeling), once I got to the school, I realised he was going to the school too, as I could smell his cologne and hear his keys behind me, I turned around and gave him this subtle dirty look. I was waiting for my sisters to come out, and he was waiting for his aswell, there was this fence type thing in between us, and he was still turning around tryna make sure he doesn't lose me,
once my sisters came out I turned around to see if the guy was still looking at me, thank god he wasn't he was talking to someone else, and I legged it out of the school gates and didnt see him … now this isn't the only guy, theres a couple others, but their glances are much more modest compared to him

Now lemme just say... I dress like a tramp when I do the pickup, I obviously dress modest, like today I wore my sixthform clothes, a long skirt and a blouse and a pair of flats. I wear no makeup, I just have my keys in my hands, no attractive, designer bag

I really don't know what to do!!!, I tell my mum, she says just keep lowering your gaze, but I do!

But its come to a point where I acctually don't like it, im pretty sure the guy works or something while i'm here tryna do my A-levels!
Shall I say something to him? what do I do? I can't just stop picking up my sisters because of these pervy men
like, Its Ramadan mate watch where your eyes wander...

EDIT: Sorry I didn't structure this properly, and icba to change my grammar x
This is creeepppy. If he follows you, maybe confront him out of the blue and demand why he does it. :yep:
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HumbleBee_x
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(Original post by yzanne)
This is creeepppy. If he follows you, maybe confront him out of the blue and demand why he does it. :yep:
Well his house is near, so he kinda has to go the same way as me. and plus I think he kinda knows what road I live on
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username4368582
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If you’re lowering your gaze he’ll think your shy maybe (I know it’s a Muslim thing but I disagree with it lol)
Just look up and keep your gaze straight past him, then it’ll look like you’re unaffected by his ummm presence
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Gold DInar
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(Original post by HumbleBee_x)
long story short

I pick my sisters up from school most of the time. this dude picks up his sisters (I think...or maybe his nieces, or cousins..idk and idc) I see him once in a while. And this guy won't stop glaring at me, today he was in a suit and he looked kinda different (I think it was him...or maybe his brother??..but he still behaved like the guy i'm talking about) I was on my way to the school, and I saw him on the phone across the street, he quickly came over to my side and he was still on the phone looking at me (ngl It was acc painfully uncomfortable, I just looked down), until I was in front of him, he then started walking towards the school behind me. And I could just sense the guy looking at me up and down (it's not a nice feeling), once I got to the school, I realised he was going to the school too, as I could smell his cologne and hear his keys behind me, I turned around and gave him this subtle dirty look. I was waiting for my sisters to come out, and he was waiting for his aswell, there was this fence type thing in between us, and he was still turning around tryna make sure he doesn't lose me,
once my sisters came out I turned around to see if the guy was still looking at me, thank god he wasn't he was talking to someone else, and I legged it out of the school gates and didnt see him … now this isn't the only guy, theres a couple others, but their glances are much more modest compared to him

Now lemme just say... I dress like a tramp when I do the pickup, I obviously dress modest, like today I wore my sixthform clothes, a long skirt and a blouse and a pair of flats. I wear no makeup, I just have my keys in my hands, no attractive, designer bag

I really don't know what to do!!!, I tell my mum, she says just keep lowering your gaze, but I do!

But its come to a point where I acctually don't like it, im pretty sure the guy works or something while i'm here tryna do my A-levels!
Shall I say something to him? what do I do? I can't just stop picking up my sisters because of these pervy men


EDIT: Sorry I didn't structure this properly, and icba to change my grammar x
If you catch this man staring at you again tomorrow you need to go upto to him and shout at him to stop staring at you(in public where people exist) and for him to lower his gaze if he is a muslim.

Also, I don't know what definition of modesty you are using, but just to make sure you know, the awrah of a woman is her entire body except for her hands, eyes, feet, face, although there is ikhtilaf regarding this(some scholars say the face, hands and feet are included) - this is to non-mahram men. So make sure that you wear hijaab and are aware of the conditions of hijaab, because hijaab does not mean some scarf on your head with makeup or tight clothing or other parts of your awrah being visible. If you are wearing abaya and khimar or a jilbaab, or modest loose long clothing with khimaar then you have done your job of having a hijaab and you have said this in your post.Then this is not your fault and it is only this jahil man that is transgressing against the boundaries which allah(swt) has set for mankind as he is not lowering his gaze when allah(swt) has clearly commanded the muslim to lower their gaze:

"Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty: that will make for greater purity for them: And Allah is well acquainted with all that they do." - Qur'an[24:30]

Secondly, just to make sure you also know, modesty does not just mean being modest in appearance but it is also in one's behaviour. So having hayaa' as a woman especially insha allah.

So, you can confront this person if this occurs again, and when I say confront I do not mean asking him why he keeps staring. I mean going upto this person and shouting at him to stop and lower his gaze then walking away - all in public where people are present. Or you can just tell your mahram father or brother to speak to this man insha allah.

Barakallahu feeki.
Last edited by Gold DInar; 1 week ago
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Anonymous #1
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I don’t mean this an attack, but how is it fair, or even reasonable, in the slightest, to expect a woman to have her whole body covered, if she is to 'earn' the basic respect of not being objectified, surely there is something wrong with this ideology?
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HumbleBee_x
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(Original post by namkeen-kuthi)
If you’re lowering your gaze he’ll think your shy maybe (I know it’s a Muslim thing but I disagree with it lol)
Just look up and keep your gaze straight past him, then it’ll look like you’re unaffected by his ummm presence
I've only recently started to look down around guys like him, because i've had enough of it and plus I naturally tend to look down at times, noone wants to be tripping
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username4368582
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(Original post by HumbleBee_x)
I've only recently started to look down around guys like him, because i've had enough of it and plus I naturally tend to look down at times, noone wants to be tripping
True true... hopefully his kid/cousin/niece leaves primary haha
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HumbleBee_x
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I do wear the hijab, and like properly not with my fringe sticking out.
if this goes to another level, i'll ask my dad to talk to him
(Original post by Gold DInar)
If you catch this man staring at you again tomorrow you need to go upto to him and shout at him to stop staring at you(in public where people exist) and for him to lower his gaze if he is a muslim.

Also, I don't know what definition of modesty you are using, but just to make sure you know, the awrah of a woman is her entire body except for her hands, eyes, feet, face, although there is ikhtilaf regarding this(some scholars say the face, hands and feet are included) - this is to non-mahram men. So make sure that you wear hijaab and are aware of the conditions of hijaab, because hijaab does not mean some scarf on your head with makeup or tight clothing or other parts of your awrah being visible. If you are wearing abaya and khimar or a jilbaab, or modest loose long clothing with khimaar then you have done your job of having a hijaab and you have said this in your post.Then this is not your fault and it is only this jahil man that is transgressing against the boundaries which allah(swt) has set for mankind as he is not lowering his gaze when allah(swt) has clearly commanded the muslim to lower their gaze:

"Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty: that will make for greater purity for them: And Allah is well acquainted with all that they do." - Qur'an[24:30]

Secondly, just to make sure you also know, modesty does not just mean being modest in appearance but it is also in one's behaviour. So having hayaa' as a woman especially insha allah.

So, you can confront this person if this occurs again, and when I say confront I do not mean asking him why he keeps staring. I mean going upto this person and shouting at him to stop and lower his gaze then walking away - all in public where people are present. Or you can just tell your mahram father or brother to speak to this man insha allah.

Barakallahu feeki.
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SlideshowBob
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Sorry about that- I just wanted to ask for directions but i'm shy at talking to girls
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HumbleBee_x
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(Original post by namkeen-kuthi)
True true... hopefully his kid/cousin/niece leaves primary haha
The girls are like in reception, can't get my hopes up
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HumbleBee_x
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what's your point?
(Original post by SlideshowBob)
Sorry about that- I just wanted to ask for directions but i'm shy at talking to girls
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username4368582
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(Original post by HumbleBee_x)
The girls are like in reception, can't get my hopes up
You’re probs really pretty then 😂😂 He’s just jelly
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Gold DInar
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I don’t mean this an attack, but how is it fair, or even reasonable, in the slightest, to expect a woman to have her whole body covered, if she is to 'earn' the basic respect of not being objectified, surely there is something wrong with this ideology?
It is reasonable and fair 100%. Allah(swt) has commanded us to do something so we must obey because we believe in Allah(swt) and his messengers and prophets and his books, and his angels, and the day of qiyamah and in qadr. Allah(swt) is all knowing and you can only speculate upon the wisdom with your limited flawed 'aql regarding the commandments from Allah(swt), however Allah(swt) has commanded us to do something because it is good for us. We do not obey because of the wisdoms behind things, we obey because Allah(swt) commands us to do it.
Last edited by Gold DInar; 1 week ago
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ibyghee
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Tbh I can't tell if the guy is just looking around and just so happens to be where you are because his house being situated close and him picking up others where you get picked up. You can't be too sure.
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ibyghee
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Like I'm saying this since other girls have looked at me as if I was staring at them even though I was clearly minding my own business.
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HumbleBee_x
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Oh please.... I'm SURE! this has been going on around October
And plus his house isn't situated in school premises is it?

(Original post by ibyghee)
Tbh I can't tell if the guy is just looking around and just so happens to be where you are because his house being situated close and him picking up others where you get picked up. You can't be too sure.
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ibyghee
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(Original post by HumbleBee_x)
Oh please.... I'm SURE! this has been going on around October
And plus his house isn't situated in school premises is it?
You said his house is next to yours and so it so happens that you both walk the same way.
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HumbleBee_x
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Him....Jelous of me? :confused:
(Original post by namkeen-kuthi)
You’re probs really pretty then 😂😂 He’s just jelly
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username4368582
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(Original post by HumbleBee_x)
Him....Jelous of me? :confused:
Umm yeah never mind sorry
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