Need advice on how to get over a bad fight with my partner, struggling to forgive him Watch

ArtyB
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#21
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#21
(Original post by Zain_Ahmed)
No offence...He probs thought it would knock some sense into you.. WHY ARE YOU MAD AT HIM? YOU CHEATED NOT HIM.. I'm suprised he is still after you.. He shouldn't be.. Unfortunatley he only dislocated your shoulder... an arm would be fine because you deserve it... u deserve more tbh... "I'm not mad at him anymore"?? WHY WERE YOU MAD IN THE FIRST PLACE? BECAUSE YOU CHEATED ON HIM??
also, violence is NOT OKAY in any situation.
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Professional G
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#22
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#22
(Original post by Zain_Ahmed)
No offence...He probs thought it would knock some sense into you.. WHY ARE YOU MAD AT HIM? YOU CHEATED NOT HIM.. I'm suprised he is still after you.. He shouldn't be.. Unfortunatley he only dislocated your shoulder... an arm would be fine because you deserve it... u deserve more tbh... "I'm not mad at him anymore"?? WHY WERE YOU MAD IN THE FIRST PLACE? BECAUSE YOU CHEATED ON HIM??
What he did was stupid but that doesn’t mean he deserves to be physically hurt. You sound like a worst person than him right now
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MidgetFever
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#23
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He hit you, that isn't acceptable under any circumstances no matter what you've done...
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sknudson
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#24
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#24
It's done, Ciel. Split up and take some time out for yourself. Find another man when the time is right.
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londonmyst
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#25
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#25
I think you are still suffering some trauma symptoms and associating your partner with the pain of the injury he accidentally caused you.
By avoiding your partner your brain hopes to avoid incidents that risk further injuries.
Are you getting enough vitamins & sleep?
Remember that prescribed painkillers for your injury can also make you feel more depressed, bad tempered and prone to angry outbursts/mood swings.
Your partner knows you best, has a central role to play in your recovery and is probably feeling terrible for hurting you.

You and your partner need to talk about what direction you each see the relationship progressing in.
So you both know where you stand and understand what each of you want.
Maybe with the help of a friend who knows you both, can give you an independent viewpoint and has never been sexually involved with either of you.
Or a professional relationship counselor, who has a lot of experience helping couples improve their relationship and will ensure that discussions always stay calm.

Hobbies can play a significant role in helping to improve mental health and decrease the severity of depressive episodes.
Have you considered devoting more time to your creative interests?
Maybe taking an art or photography course, to widen your portfolio and skillset.
There are plenty of online and part time courses.
I'm looking into one learning about digital illustration.
I paint and do photography already.
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Ciel.
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#26
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#26
(Original post by angel.xo)
i think he really loves you. its hard taking care of somebody whos depressed but he does it because he genuinely loves you. why else would he stay? if you are angry about the fight wait some time to cool off but please start to appreciate it because if you lose him you will regret it all your life. you cant think straight right now because thats what depression does to you.
I'm not even angry... I don't know what is my brain even doing.
(Original post by Notoriety)
Please do. Need a big strong man meself.
Please don't take my man.
(Original post by Professional G)
So what I’m hearing is that karma has caught up to you?
Didn’t people already warn you about this?
No... Did they?
(Original post by sinfonietta)
Unfortunately it sounds like your relationship may have run its course. Physical abuse isn't okay.
It was a one off, so I wouldn't classify it as such.
(Original post by Zain_Ahmed)
No offence...He probs thought it would knock some sense into you.. WHY ARE YOU MAD AT HIM? YOU CHEATED NOT HIM.. I'm suprised he is still after you.. He shouldn't be.. Unfortunatley he only dislocated your shoulder... an arm would be fine because you deserve it... u deserve more tbh... "I'm not mad at him anymore"?? WHY WERE YOU MAD IN THE FIRST PLACE? BECAUSE YOU CHEATED ON HIM??
I'm not mad at him. I said I wasn't mad at him. I just find him off putting now. Wtf do you mean by that? So what? I was angry because he ****ing hit me, it's pretty self-explanatory.
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JohanGRK
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#27
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#27
(Original post by sinfonietta)
Physical abuse
correction*

Also it's clear that OP likes being dommed by her big muscly man
Last edited by JohanGRK; 1 month ago
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Ciel.
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#28
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#28
(Original post by ArtyB)
I suggest ending the relationship. You don't take him or his feelings seriously, at all. He has a lot of anger about it, which is fair. But hitting you?! That is NEVER okay. If you can cheat on someone, lie to them, hurt them and disrespect them... you're wasting their time and breaking their self-esteem. And while he may be angry and hurt, physical violence is NEVER the correct or just answer. You don't respect him and he hit you. This is an unstable and unhealthy relationship and I suggest you put it to rest before it gets worse. A relationship without trust, loyalty and communication, is not a relationship. It is just a competition. Not fair to either party. Just my opinion
Breaking up is not an option. I want advice on how to work through our issues.

(Original post by MidgetFever)
He hit you, that isn't acceptable under any circumstances no matter what you've done...
It happens, I would hate for something so trivial to ruin my relationship with him.

(Original post by sknudson)
It's done, Ciel. Split up and take some time out for yourself. Find another man when the time is right.
Nope. I don't want to. You just wouldn't understand.

(Original post by londonmyst)
I think you are still suffering some trauma symptoms and associating your partner with the pain of the injury he accidentally caused you.
By avoiding your partner your brain hopes to avoid incidents that risk further injuries.
Are you getting enough vitamins & sleep?
Remember that prescribed painkillers for your injury can also make you feel more depressed, bad tempered and prone to angry outbursts/mood swings.
Your partner knows you best, has a central role to play in your recovery and is probably feeling terrible for hurting you.

You and your partner need to talk about what direction you each see the relationship progressing in.
So you both know where you stand and understand what each of you want.
Maybe with the help of a friend who knows you both, can give you an independent viewpoint and has never been sexually involved with either of you.
Or a professional relationship counselor, who has a lot of experience helping couples improve their relationship and will ensure that discussions always stay calm.

Hobbies can play a significant role in helping to improve mental health and decrease the severity of depressive episodes.
Have you considered devoting more time to your creative interests?
Maybe taking an art or photography course, to widen your portfolio and skillset.
There are plenty of online and part time courses.
I'm looking into one learning about digital illustration.
I paint and do photography already.
Do you think forcing myself to be around him would help me get over this quicker? Maybe that would make my brain associate him with good things again?
I'm slowly getting my sleep schedule back on track, my mood is pretty low again but at least it's stable and keeps me in the house, lol.
And yeah, I agree, I'm currently working on my art projects... Sometimes my moods are all over the place, though, and I **** everything up.
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harrysbar
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#29
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#29
(Original post by Notoriety)
Please do. Need a big strong man meself.
Hi
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Notoriety
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#30
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#30
(Original post by harrysbar)
Hi
Are you going back to pretending to be a man?
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harrysbar
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#31
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#31
(Original post by Notoriety)
Are you going back to pretending to be a man?
I'm identifying as a man right now yes
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ilem
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#32
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#32
That's incredibly stupid of your boyfriend to risk a potential arrest or even jail time over a cheating promiscuous woman

Should have just ditched you on the spot.
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Ciel.
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#33
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#33
(Original post by ilem)
That's incredibly stupid of your boyfriend to risk a potential arrest or even jail time over a cheating promiscuous woman

Should have just ditched you on the spot.
I'm not a promiscuous woman, hun.
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Notoriety
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#34
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#34
(Original post by ilem)
That's incredibly stupid of your boyfriend to risk a potential arrest or even jail time over a cheating promiscuous woman

Should have just ditched you on the spot.
(Original post by Ciel.)
I'm not a promiscuous woman, hun.
Promiscuous man. How foolish of you, ilem.
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ilem
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#35
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#35
(Original post by Ciel.)
I'm not a promiscuous woman, hun.
Oh it's just a euphemism for what you are; unfortunately that word would most likely get me banned/warned
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londonmyst
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#36
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#36
(Original post by Ciel.)
Do you think forcing myself to be around him would help me get over this quicker? Maybe that would make my brain associate him with good things again?
I'm slowly getting my sleep schedule back on track, my mood is pretty low again but at least it's stable and keeps me in the house, lol.
And yeah, I agree, I'm currently working on my art projects... Sometimes my moods are all over the place, though, and I **** everything up.
No, don't force yourself.
It will be a gradual, one step at a time process.
Your brain will slowly shift focus away from trauma to all the best aspects of your partner's character.
So you will remember all the great things in you relationship and let him prove how much he regrets losing his temper the way he did.
It is a two way process, he also has to earn your trust back.

You will know when you feel able to be around your partner, your instincts will let you know when the time is right.
It could be a few days or much longer.
But don't try to completely avoid him as your trust and shoulder recover.
You could try discussing neutral subjects like your pets, the european parliament elections and how all the major party leaders seem to be on the road to nowhere or worse.
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ilem
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#37
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#37
(Original post by Ciel.)
Screw you. Pussy. ****ing coward. Incel. Go on, report me.

I don't really consider myself promiscuous.
Lol, don't cheat next time
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Anonymous #1
#38
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#38
(Original post by Ciel.)
Screw you. Pussy. ****ing coward. Incel. Go on, report me.

I don't really consider myself promiscuous.
quality comedy
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Ciel.
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#39
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#39
(Original post by londonmyst)
No, don't force yourself.
It will be a gradual, one step at a time process.
Your brain will slowly shift focus away from trauma to all the best aspects of your partner's character.
So you will remember all the great things in you relationship and let him prove how much he regrets losing his temper the way he did.
It is a two way process, he also has to earn your trust back.

You will know when you feel able to be around your partner, your instincts will let you know when the time is right.
It could be a few days or much longer.
But don't try to completely avoid him as your trust and shoulder recover.
You could try discussing neutral subjects like your pets, the european parliament elections and how all the major party leaders seem to be on the road to nowhere or worse.
I hope so, thanks.

Haha, I hate politics. So it's not really a neutral subject for me, lmao. 😂 Will need to think of something else!
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CHANELDIAMONDS
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#40
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#40
how many more of this will you and him take before y’all realise you’re just not meant for each together ? plenty of fish in the sea
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