Going into second year with no friends at uni, don’t know what to do? Watch

bioenthusiast
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Hi all

I’m approaching the end of my first year, and it’s been pretty crap socially. Freshers was great, talked to lots of new people and got on with my flat mates, and the first month or so was fun. After that, it’s been rough. These so called ‘friends’ were very horrible and two faced, I’d message them asking if they wanted to do anything and they’d all come up with lame excuses like ‘I’m ill’ even though later on that night, I’d see them going on a night out on Snapchat. It’s been awful. Two of my only proper friends here (one was my flatmate) both dropped out at the end of first year, just my luck.
I didn’t go out once in second semester and was basically in my room all the time apart from lectures. I hate it so much. I put in so much effort and it didn’t get reciprocated. I’m not a weirdo or anything, I have plenty of friends back home and I’m quite social, I just don’t know why this has happened to me. It’s made me really depressed and anxious to the point where I’ve been having panic attack’s at night and am currently on a waiting list for counselling.

What do I do for second year? I’m going to be living in a flat with three other people (two were my flat mates this year) but we’re not close, they all have their own friendship groups and I don’t want to really go out with them or anything. Would societies be worth it? I’m just worried that I might not make any friends if I join as a second year on my own, surely that looks pathetic? I have no course mates either, I know people who I’ll sit with in lectures but other than that we don’t have much in common. No one seems to want to know. Any tips and real life stories from anyone in the same position whose social life was awful in first year but they made new friends in second year?

It’s made me feel so low, to the point where I feel like dropping out. I’m already dealing with anxiety and still processing the death of my father which happened just a year ago, so that makes me feel worse (this is going off topic now lol). I don’t know what to do anymore. I’ve tried so hard but people are horrible. What shall I do in second year?
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hallamstudents
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(Original post by bioenthusiast)
Hi all

I’m approaching the end of my first year, and it’s been pretty crap socially. Freshers was great, talked to lots of new people and got on with my flat mates, and the first month or so was fun. After that, it’s been rough. These so called ‘friends’ were very horrible and two faced, I’d message them asking if they wanted to do anything and they’d all come up with lame excuses like ‘I’m ill’ even though later on that night, I’d see them going on a night out on Snapchat. It’s been awful. Two of my only proper friends here (one was my flatmate) both dropped out at the end of first year, just my luck.
I didn’t go out once in second semester and was basically in my room all the time apart from lectures. I hate it so much. I put in so much effort and it didn’t get reciprocated. I’m not a weirdo or anything, I have plenty of friends back home and I’m quite social, I just don’t know why this has happened to me. It’s made me really depressed and anxious to the point where I’ve been having panic attack’s at night and am currently on a waiting list for counselling.

What do I do for second year? I’m going to be living in a flat with three other people (two were my flat mates this year) but we’re not close, they all have their own friendship groups and I don’t want to really go out with them or anything. Would societies be worth it? I’m just worried that I might not make any friends if I join as a second year on my own, surely that looks pathetic? I have no course mates either, I know people who I’ll sit with in lectures but other than that we don’t have much in common. No one seems to want to know. Any tips and real life stories from anyone in the same position whose social life was awful in first year but they made new friends in second year?

It’s made me feel so low, to the point where I feel like dropping out. I’m already dealing with anxiety and still processing the death of my father which happened just a year ago, so that makes me feel worse (this is going off topic now lol). I don’t know what to do anymore. I’ve tried so hard but people are horrible. What shall I do in second year?
Hello,

You are not on your own. Time and time again have I heard this happen to students and even myself. In my final year of my undergraduate, I thought I was moving in with my best friend and another housemate who we'd lived with previously. However, this very close friend dropped out a week before we moved in and we never heard from her again. I was in a similar position to yourself.

But you shouldn't give up. I spent much of my time getting involved with societies and clubs. It's a great opportunity to meet new people and build skills that can even go on your cv. You may think you have nothing in common with those you're about to move in with but just give it a chance. I did and we grew really close. The great tip is to just get stuck into university life and the rest will follow.

I hope you enjoy your second year,
Charlotte
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