is he creepy? Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 6 days ago
#1
Sooo I need you guy's opinions on this guy, if you take the time to read this then thankyou!!!. I Met him online (not a catfish - we do have some mutual friends) and so it was the normal "hey" "hey" "how're you" etc and then he asked what my type was and I just said "nice, kind and can have and laugh" then he said "likewise" then asked for my snap. He then asked how far I'd gone with a guy and I said not far (just kisses) and he said he's done it all and then he asked if i'm against sex or anything and i said "no but i'd wanna be really comfortable and in a relationship with that person" and he like didnt mind but i still said "if youre looking for sex or short time im wasting your time" but he kept on texting so that was good. he asked to meet and i said sure, he said "my place" and i said i'd rather meet in a public place and he said "oh sh-- yh realised how dodgy that sounded" and i said "glad you realised unlike some people" and he said "aha smh boys are trash" some things seem really genuine and sweet but some make me think he wants to get close for sex???? (he's a year above me)
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sinfonietta
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#2
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Seems fine.
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MongoDB
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#3
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Seems like someone who has a bit too much disdain for society at large. Probably an alright guy. Doesn't seem particularly creepy, but you never know.
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londonmyst
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#4
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#4
I'm not sure.
He could be a genuine nice guy.
But I'm getting a slight vibe of something being off based on his comments.
Ask your mutual friends about his personality and relationship history.
If he's a liar, stalker or creep- other girls that know him will have said something.
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Anonymous #2
#5
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#5
well i think its dodgy how he was just like how far have you gone with a guy.....and telling you that he's done it all.. but the fact that he stayed after you told him your not on it shows he likes you but at the same time he knows your not against doing it so he might be just begging it till then or genuinely LIKES U lol.. sticky one stillllll .. but when/if you go out on a date i think you'll get the vibe... ask your friends what he is on... well done for beng honest with him and saying if thas what you want your wastin your time because a lot of girls wouldn't and feel pressured to make themselves look 'cool/experienced' lol but yhhhhhh..


(Original post by Anonymous)
Sooo I need you guy's opinions on this guy, if you take the time to read this then thankyou!!!. I Met him online (not a catfish - we do have some mutual friends) and so it was the normal "hey" "hey" "how're you" etc and then he asked what my type was and I just said "nice, kind and can have and laugh" then he said "likewise" then asked for my snap. He then asked how far I'd gone with a guy and I said not far (just kisses) and he said he's done it all and then he asked if i'm against sex or anything and i said "no but i'd wanna be really comfortable and in a relationship with that person" and he like didnt mind but i still said "if youre looking for sex or short time im wasting your time" but he kept on texting so that was good. he asked to meet and i said sure, he said "my place" and i said i'd rather meet in a public place and he said "oh sh-- yh realised how dodgy that sounded" and i said "glad you realised unlike some people" and he said "aha smh boys are trash" some things seem really genuine and sweet but some make me think he wants to get close for sex???? (he's a year above me)
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mioxne
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#6
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#6
probably alright but proceed with caution, maybe meet up with your mutual friends the first few times...
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Anonymous #1
#7
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#7
thanks haha yeah its just confusing because he says so many contradictory things
(Original post by Anonymous)
well i think its dodgy how he was just like how far have you gone with a guy.....and telling you that he's done it all.. but the fact that he stayed after you told him your not on it shows he likes you but at the same time he knows your not against doing it so he might be just begging it till then or genuinely LIKES U lol.. sticky one stillllll .. but when/if you go out on a date i think you'll get the vibe... ask your friends what he is on... well done for beng honest with him and saying if thas what you want your wastin your time because a lot of girls wouldn't and feel pressured to make themselves look 'cool/experienced' lol but yhhhhhh..
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pawełzgdzieś
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#8
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Sooo I need you guy's opinions on this guy, if you take the time to read this then thankyou!!!. I Met him online (not a catfish - we do have some mutual friends) and so it was the normal "hey" "hey" "how're you" etc and then he asked what my type was and I just said "nice, kind and can have and laugh" then he said "likewise" then asked for my snap. He then asked how far I'd gone with a guy and I said not far (just kisses) and he said he's done it all and then he asked if i'm against sex or anything and i said "no but i'd wanna be really comfortable and in a relationship with that person" and he like didnt mind but i still said "if youre looking for sex or short time im wasting your time" but he kept on texting so that was good. he asked to meet and i said sure, he said "my place" and i said i'd rather meet in a public place and he said "oh sh-- yh realised how dodgy that sounded" and i said "glad you realised unlike some people" and he said "aha smh boys are trash" some things seem really genuine and sweet but some make me think he wants to get close for sex???? (he's a year above me)
I think you should beware of such men, most likely he is creepy judging by how you have described the situation (however it was difficult to read some of your text). Generally, if anyone was to discuss sex in a relationship both partners would have to be comfortable with it. If he just straight up comes up with sex even though you haven't met him face to face, that could be a sign of desperation and that he could have a risky and dangerous personality.

Although there is nothing wrong with wanting to experience sex with another person in a relationship, there is a level of responsibility that must be held by both partners. Afterall, it is rather serious considering the consequences if it goes wrong (e.g. sexually transmitted diseases if no protection is used, or unwanted pregnancy). I am not a puritan, however I believe that before anyone gets to talking about sex they should have something in common first such as a hobby or activity akin to discussion about certain subject matters. If one partner does not want to spend the time to build up that connection, even if it might be a brief one (e.g. summer romance), but is simply wanting to get all that he/she wants immediately and then leave without a second thought then probably this relationship will end up being abusive. Afterall, it is very important to first, have a foundation upon which you and your partner can freely talk about their fears, what you/he does/does not like, and so on, but without any abusive backlash.

There also must be some accountability when engaging in a relationship. Try to get to know his parents, his family background, if you do that would mean that you would know his personality better and whether his intentions are benign or malign. For example, if he does not want you to meet his parents that could mean that he does not want anyone knowing about this relationship probably because he would just like it for sex and wouldn't want anyone to interfere to tell him that he is doing wrong or something along those lines. But it is not a dichotomy here. Even if you do get to know his family background better, you have to analyse it further. How are his parents? How are his siblings/relatives/etc...? Are they just being nice for appearances or are they genuinely nice? Does his family have a caring attitude or do they seem aloof? How do his living conditions look like? Is he well-educated?

Although many would like to say that love comes in all unexpected forms and sizes, we are not living in a world where every corner is full of good intention. There are many factors to consider, and even if someone is well-educated and has a very good family background, they could still have bad intentions within them. If it is too difficult to determine his intentions, then this could be a sign that you should leave him and not give him any information about yourself. There is one very important thing to remember! Before anyone gets to sex, they must have TRUST.

Although this might seem as overkill as many people may not talk openly with their parents about their relationships, since you know nothing about him and he straight up came with a question about sex, that could translate into peril if his background is not reviewed properly. There is generally nothing wrong with sex, but both partners need to be responsible about it. If one is not willing to, then this relationship will turn sour or even worse than that.
Last edited by pawełzgdzieś; 6 days ago
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Anonymous #1
#9
Report Thread starter 6 days ago
#9
ah wow thankyou! i'll see how it goes and be careful
(Original post by pawełzgdzieś)
I think you should beware of such men, most likely he is creepy judging by how you have described the situation (however it was difficult to read some of your text). Generally, if anyone was to discuss sex in a relationship both partners would have to be comfortable with it. If he just straight up comes up with sex even though you haven't met him face to face, that could be a sign of desperation and that he could have a risky and dangerous personality.

Although there is nothing wrong with wanting to experience sex with another person in a relationship, there is a level of responsibility that must be held by both partners. Afterall, it is rather serious considering the consequences if it goes wrong (e.g. sexually transmitted diseases if no protection is used, or unwanted pregnancy). I am not a puritan, however I believe that before anyone gets to talking about sex they should have something in common first such as a hobby or activity akin to discussion about certain subject matters. If one partner does not want to spend the time to build up that connection, even if it might be a brief one (e.g. summer romance), but is simply wanting to get all that he/she wants immediately and then leave without a second thought then probably this relationship will end up being abusive. Afterall, it is very important to first, have a foundation upon which you and your partner can freely talk about their fears, what you/he does/does not like, and so on, but without any abusive backlash.

There also must be some accountability when engaging in a relationship. Try to get to know his parents, his family background, if you do that would mean that you would know his personality better and whether his intentions are benign or malign. For example, if he does not want you to meet his parents that could mean that he does not want anyone knowing about this relationship probably because he would just like it for sex and wouldn't want anyone to interfere to tell him that he is doing wrong or something along those lines. But it is not a dichotomy here. Even if do get to know his family background better, you have to analyse it further. How are his parents? How are his siblings? Are they just being nice for appearances or are they genuinely nice?

Although this might seem as overkill as many people may not talk openly with their parents about their relationships, since you know nothing about him and he straight up came with a question about sex, that could translate into peril if his background is not reviewed properly. There is generally nothing wrong with sex, but both partners need to be responsible about it. If one is not willing to, then this relationship will turn sour or even worse than that.
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pawełzgdzieś
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#10
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(Original post by Anonymous)
ah wow thankyou! i'll see how it goes and be careful
You're very welcome. But before you go, I would like to inform you that I have edited my post adding some more information. It is not too much, but I think it just as important:

Here is the text of the edited part below:

But it is not a dichotomy here. Even if you do get to know his family background better, you have to analyse it further. How are his parents? How are his siblings/relatives/etc...? Are they just being nice for appearances or are they genuinely nice? Does his family have a caring attitude or do they seem aloof? How do his living conditions look like? Is he well-educated?

Although many would like to say that love comes in all unexpected forms and sizes, we are not living in a world where every corner is full of good intention. There are many factors to consider, and even if someone is well-educated and has a very good family background, they could still have bad intentions within them. If it is too difficult to determine his intentions, then this could be a sign that you should leave him and not give him any information about yourself. There is one very important thing to remember! Before anyone gets to sex, they must have TRUST.
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Anonymous #1
#11
Report Thread starter 6 days ago
#11
thankyou again! if theres any pressuring going on im getting out of it f a s t
(Original post by pawełzgdzieś)
You're very welcome. But before you go, I would like to inform you that I have edited my post adding some more information. It is not too much, but I think it just as important:

Here is the text of the edited part below:

But it is not a dichotomy here. Even if you do get to know his family background better, you have to analyse it further. How are his parents? How are his siblings/relatives/etc...? Are they just being nice for appearances or are they genuinely nice? Does his family have a caring attitude or do they seem aloof? How do his living conditions look like? Is he well-educated?

Although many would like to say that love comes in all unexpected forms and sizes, we are not living in a world where every corner is full of good intention. There are many factors to consider, and even if someone is well-educated and has a very good family background, they could still have bad intentions within them. If it is too difficult to determine his intentions, then this could be a sign that you should leave him and not give him any information about yourself. There is one very important thing to remember! Before anyone gets to sex, they must have TRUST.
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Zarek
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#12
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I think it's creepy to lead with questions about attitude to sex prior even to a date.
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Johndoeskitty
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#13
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Yeah, I agree with the others. It's not really normal to bring up the topic of sex so fast, and if a guy is a gentleman he will ask you out on a date, not ask you to come to his house. When I was in high school that was the norm.. if a guy liked me he would ask me out to dinner and only bring up sex later on if I seemed interested.

Maybe just meet up with him one time for dinner and that's it, and see how he behaves. Maybe he just isn't good at saying the right thing.
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Anonymous #3
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Sooo I need you guy's opinions on this guy, if you take the time to read this then thankyou!!!. I Met him online (not a catfish - we do have some mutual friends) and so it was the normal "hey" "hey" "how're you" etc and then he asked what my type was and I just said "nice, kind and can have and laugh" then he said "likewise" then asked for my snap. He then asked how far I'd gone with a guy and I said not far (just kisses) and he said he's done it all and then he asked if i'm against sex or anything and i said "no but i'd wanna be really comfortable and in a relationship with that person" and he like didnt mind but i still said "if youre looking for sex or short time im wasting your time" but he kept on texting so that was good. he asked to meet and i said sure, he said "my place" and i said i'd rather meet in a public place and he said "oh sh-- yh realised how dodgy that sounded" and i said "glad you realised unlike some people" and he said "aha smh boys are trash" some things seem really genuine and sweet but some make me think he wants to get close for sex???? (he's a year above me)
I got major alarm bells when I read this. In my opinion, it sounds like he's looking for sex.

I've actually been in this position before and, now that I think about it, I was being naive. It kind of sounds like he wants to invite you to his place so you guys can 'hang out' and then eventually he'll try to kiss you and lead up to sex.

When I read your post, I thought that was me who had written it because it's identical to many of my previous situations.

A word of warning: please be extremely cautious (unless you just want sex with a random person). He doesn't sound like he's at all worth it. If you're still wanting to meet him and want something romantic, ask what he's looking for: dates or 'fun'. From your conversation, it doesn't really sound like he's explicitly said if he actually wants to go on a date with you or not. Also, if you do end up meeting him, definitely meet him in a public space, maybe with some mutual friends.
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