Help with a break up
Hi all,
I’m in a tricky situation with my girlfriend of 4 months. I’m not feeling it anymore and I need to end it because it’s not fair on her. But there are a number of barriers to that.
I spoke to her about 3 weeks ago and said that she has been too obsessed and it’s putting me off. It got better for a week but now it’s back to me not being happy in the relationship. I would end it now but like I said there are barriers to that.
Next week, we start our A Level exams (for all you Americans these exams are crucial in getting into university and for your career) so I feel like it’d be unfair on her to do it before they’re over because it could ruin her life success.
Secondly, after these exams we are going on a group holiday to Greece, where she only knows one other person, a girl, that she didn’t know before we started going out. If I did it before this holiday it’d be quite awkward and again pretty unfair on her since it’s cost £400 (~$550) each.
Thirdly, the day we get back from Greece, another couple, me and my girlfriend are going to Cornwall (British beach holiday) with just us 4 and 2 lots of parents. I wouldn’t be able to do it before this because she’s staying with me between landing back home from Greece and leaving for Cornwall.
This would mean stringing out an unwanted relationship for almost a month which seems unrealistic and unfair.
Hence, you see my dilemma. If anyone has any advice on the best way to handle the situation I’d be greatly appreciative.
Thanks in advance,
Concerned Boyfriend
I’m in a tricky situation with my girlfriend of 4 months. I’m not feeling it anymore and I need to end it because it’s not fair on her. But there are a number of barriers to that.
I spoke to her about 3 weeks ago and said that she has been too obsessed and it’s putting me off. It got better for a week but now it’s back to me not being happy in the relationship. I would end it now but like I said there are barriers to that.
Next week, we start our A Level exams (for all you Americans these exams are crucial in getting into university and for your career) so I feel like it’d be unfair on her to do it before they’re over because it could ruin her life success.
Secondly, after these exams we are going on a group holiday to Greece, where she only knows one other person, a girl, that she didn’t know before we started going out. If I did it before this holiday it’d be quite awkward and again pretty unfair on her since it’s cost £400 (~$550) each.
Thirdly, the day we get back from Greece, another couple, me and my girlfriend are going to Cornwall (British beach holiday) with just us 4 and 2 lots of parents. I wouldn’t be able to do it before this because she’s staying with me between landing back home from Greece and leaving for Cornwall.
This would mean stringing out an unwanted relationship for almost a month which seems unrealistic and unfair.
Hence, you see my dilemma. If anyone has any advice on the best way to handle the situation I’d be greatly appreciative.
Thanks in advance,
Concerned Boyfriend
I see your problem. That's a really difficult situation, and it must suck feeling responsible for causing hurt either way.
I think you need to talk to her again. Sit down with her and tell her your feelings and problems and sort it out with her. If I were you I might wait until after A-levels to do that though (if you can) because I'm not sure that it would have a positive impact on your and her exams.
I really hope you manage to sort it out - just remember that this won't matter in a few years time and it'll all be ok in the end. I admire you for caring so much about her though and thinking it through this much.
Good luck in this situation and of course your A-levels!
I think you need to talk to her again. Sit down with her and tell her your feelings and problems and sort it out with her. If I were you I might wait until after A-levels to do that though (if you can) because I'm not sure that it would have a positive impact on your and her exams.
I really hope you manage to sort it out - just remember that this won't matter in a few years time and it'll all be ok in the end. I admire you for caring so much about her though and thinking it through this much.
Good luck in this situation and of course your A-levels!
Thank you for your advice. I agree I think explaining that I’m not prepared to go further is a good idea maybe I’ll do it after Cornwall.
Any advice on where to do it? Is my house okay if she has her own car and can drive home?
Any advice on where to do it? Is my house okay if she has her own car and can drive home?
Original post by ririroo
I see your problem. That's a really difficult situation, and it must suck feeling responsible for causing hurt either way.
I think you need to talk to her again. Sit down with her and tell her your feelings and problems and sort it out with her. If I were you I might wait until after A-levels to do that though (if you can) because I'm not sure that it would have a positive impact on your and her exams.
I really hope you manage to sort it out - just remember that this won't matter in a few years time and it'll all be ok in the end. I admire you for caring so much about her though and thinking it through this much.
Good luck in this situation and of course your A-levels!
I think you need to talk to her again. Sit down with her and tell her your feelings and problems and sort it out with her. If I were you I might wait until after A-levels to do that though (if you can) because I'm not sure that it would have a positive impact on your and her exams.
I really hope you manage to sort it out - just remember that this won't matter in a few years time and it'll all be ok in the end. I admire you for caring so much about her though and thinking it through this much.
Good luck in this situation and of course your A-levels!
bump? not sure if thats allowed
Original post by Anonymous
Any advice on where to do it? Is my house okay if she has her own car and can drive home?
You're asking your girlfriend to make the effort of driving to you so you can break up with her, possibly leaving her emotional and in floods of tears, and then want her to then drive home? That's lazy and potentially dangerous.
Either neutral territory (cafe?) or her place. Plus you can walk away from either of those places when the conversation ends; if she's in your house, it might be difficult to ask her to leave if she's really upset and she wants to keep the discussion going.
I agree with this
Original post by Surnia
You're asking your girlfriend to make the effort of driving to you so you can break up with her, possibly leaving her emotional and in floods of tears, and then want her to then drive home? That's lazy and potentially dangerous.
Either neutral territory (cafe?) or her place. Plus you can walk away from either of those places when the conversation ends; if she's in your house, it might be difficult to ask her to leave if she's really upset and she wants to keep the discussion going.
Either neutral territory (cafe?) or her place. Plus you can walk away from either of those places when the conversation ends; if she's in your house, it might be difficult to ask her to leave if she's really upset and she wants to keep the discussion going.
If i were you I definitely wouldn’t end it before the exams so i would wait till after Cornwall and also i’m sure you both know it will come to end soon because you could be going on different gap years and different universities and you will probably meet new girls there. Good luck with the exams...
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