hate the person i'm in love with Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 6 days ago
#1
so it's the end of the semester and i've been left with basically no friends. everything was going so well for me and for once i thought i'd found friends for life. i was wrong.

it all started when i was put in a flat with this boy. right from the start i fancied him because he was exactly my type but i'm not the kind of girl who shits where i eat so i never did anything about it. me him and another girl in my flat are all close and have the same friendship group and have from pretty much the start of the year. which only makes things more complicated.

from the start mine and his relationship has been quite rocky. he used to fall out with me all of the time over stupid things. we had to spend the christmas break together basically by ourselves together in halls because we were both working and lived too far away to commute so we got really close then. at this point i probably would have classed him as my best friend. he used to tell me really personal things that he said he'd never told anyone else and vice versa. i always felt like we had a connection and that we would be in each other's lives even after uni. after he went through a hard time when he broke up with his ex i began realising that i'd fallen in love with him. i kept trying to push it out of my mind because i know i'm the exact opposite of his type but i couldn't help it.

the only thing is is that he changes how he treats me around other people. when we're alone he's so kind and caring and and sometimes has me wondering if he likes me back in any way. but when other people are around he becomes someone else. he can sometimes become snappy with me and always prioritises other girls over me. it hurts me so much because of how close i thought we were and how much i've helped him through any troubles he's had, even to the point of helping him get with other girls because i do want him to be happy, even if it's not with me.

i haven't spoken to him for two weeks because i decided after he became really snappy with me and with no one else i decided that i don't need to be treated like that. since i'm no longer talking to him all my other friends love him and have now began to exclude me from everything. the only one that isn't is my other flatmate but she's left for the semester so i have no one. they all went out last night without me and spent the full of today and yesterday together and i wasn't even invited. i just don't understand why i love someone that it seems just wants to hurt me at every opportunity. i want to talk to him so much but my head's telling me not to do it because it will be the same cycle of manipulation because i know deep down he doesn't value me. if he did he wouldn't treat me the way he does. someone please tell me i'm doing the right thing.
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Dunnig Kruger
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#2
Report 6 days ago
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Zoom right out, time wise. Zoom right out so that you are looking at your life in its' entirety. From your birth to your death. Like the aliens in The Simpsons looking at planet Earth from their spacecraft in orbit.

Looking at the entirety of your life, this man will be a very small episode in your life. He will be someone that you spent a few months with on your way to finding someone that you will spend years with.

All you need to do is to maintain your sense of self-worth and hold out for someone that genuinely loves you back, that isn't as moody as this current man, and who will treat you with the courtesy that you deserve in private and in public.
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