Can exes really be friends?

There seems to be this new trend going around at the moment that exes remain and become the best of friends. I've always been sceptical and tend to think they remain friends because there are still feelings there. Can exes really just be platonic?

Reply 1

cascadingstylez

18

I would not like to be friends with an ex. I would not hate them, but i would not want to stay in contact is probably a better term to use.

Obviously if people want to be friends then one person, or both, has feelings for each other.

Would you want to be friends with anyone who either a) backstabs you b) cheats on you c) does something else to disrespect you? I wouldn't.

Its best to close the gate once the horse has gone.

Reply 2

LLGJ x

I think it depends on how serious the relationship was and on what terms did it end etc

Reply 3

PhyZ

Depends how you broke up really. If it involved screaming/shouting/another person, maybe not.

But if you just went your separate ways, why not?

Reply 4

Pedro16

yes of course they can.
me and my girlfriend weren't really that serious but now we are close to being best friends.

Reply 5

MC REN

14

cascadingstylez

Would you want to be friends with anyone who either a) backstabs you b) cheats on you c) does something else to disrespect you? I wouldn't.

Not every relationship ends because someone ****ed up

Reply 6

plastic-hearts--x

I once heard a saying, this isnt exactly right.. but something along these lines...

If you break up and are still friends, you either still love each other, or never loved each other at all...

or something like that... i think this is quite true.
Also, as a few people have said, it all depends on what terms it ended.
but personally, if someone cheated on me or something i wouldn't want to be friends with them!

Reply 7

StotheL

I'm friends with my ex's, more so with my more recent ex though, we get on well and speak, just generally civilised and have fun, but that's it really ie. we don't text, or ring each other or meet up, just see each other whenever our group of friends is together, which I think is perfectly fine, his current girlfriend doesn't really like me apparently..but meh, not my problem.

Reply 8

StotheL

PhyZ

Depends how you broke up really. If it involved screaming/shouting/another person, maybe not.

But if you just went your separate ways, why not?

Haha, ohh my ex and I had quite a fight! But we're fine now just as friends, but maybe that's because I'm one of those people that say it's in the past and move on, things just didn't work out for us and he wasn't a great boyfriend but we get on well as friends..but if he had cheated or something, then no I wouldn't be his friend.

Reply 9

cascadingstylez

18

nah man. That would cut me up knowing my ex girlfriend was with someone else. I wouldn't want to split up with her, but if she split up with me i would just walk away upset.

But i know if we ever split up and kept in contact we would end up sleeping together again anyway. It would cause problems for her other relationship.

Your first love you would never get over and i think that saying is true.

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

My ex was the love of my life - it has taken 2 years for us to become friends. I think there are still feelings of affection there, and the relationship ended in quite a hysterical way, hence the 2 years of silence. Gradually we have ended up in a situation where we don't go out together (mainly because of distance) but are in a position where we can confide and advise each other (for example in our current relationships) because we want the best for each other and know exactly who the other is.

My current boyfriend is still good friends with his ex. This is because their relationship was not very serious, and not really sexual from what I can gather. They went out back when they were in college, and I think it was more a ''we're good mates, we might as well go out'' kind of thing.

Reply 11

username136318

0

10

My ex became my best friend. He was my first love, we broke up and didnt see/speak to one another for about 6 months and then we got in touch again. I don't think I will ever get over him but we both had realised we loved each other but weren't In love with each other which made having a relationship awkward.

Reply 12

chloecouture

8

The most recent ex of mine was my friend first and neither of us was that bothered when we broke up so we'er still friends, kind of the way we were before we got together.
Though there was this guy i was seeing for a while and he hurt me so i kind of ignored him for a while and made it known i wasnt happy with him so he apologised and now im just civilised to him and i dont hold grudges anyway and i hate having any kind of conflict with people so i just treat him how i would before we kind of 'hooked up.'
Aside from that my only other 'serious' boyfriend and i dont see eachother anymore as we never mix in the same social groups.

Reply 13

Long Jo(h)n Silver, yarrr

My best friend is my ex - i went out with her for 17 months.

other than that...two i'm on good terms with but the latest one...well no, not at all. I think it really depends on the person and the circumstances. The two i don't really know anymore moved away and the one i'm not friends with is the most horrible excuse for a human being i've ever encountered...

in contrast to my best friend, who is probably one of the nicest people i know. So yes, it depends on the person and the circumstances i think.

yup!

I am with my first. But I was like 14/15 when I was with him and so we were probably more just like friends looking back. We don't see each other that often and don't talk like every week religiously but we went away for Easter last year because we were both at loose ends (nothing happened!) and I could always call him if I needed anything.

Another ex I used to be "friends" with but it was kinda like 'that'...

And my last boyfriend I talk to but don't see each other.

They were kind of my "serious"ish boyfriends and none of us hate each other which I think is nice.

Reply 16

* Catrin *

14

yeah me and my ex boyfriend are good friends :biggrin:

Reply 17

Anonymous #2

depends on the relationship you had i think, my first 2 bfs when i was like 12-14 wernt serious at all obviously so still civilised and friends though i dont see them much.
but my first serious boyfriend when i was 16.....well that is still complicated now, a year and a half later. at this moment in time its the first time we've had a major fall out, and is the first time we've gone 4 weeks without talking to each other ...since we met. we are really up and down, we go through phases of sleeping together which are usually followed by a problem where we fall out. to be honest i'm not sure where we stand with each other. are problem is probably that we've never had proper space from each other, and maybe its too complicated to be just friends but also because of this too complicated to be lovers. but i dont think, even now while we're on bad terms, that either of us would like to be nothing to each other or never see each other again - which would be difficult as we're in the same friendship group. ugh. we need a break.

Reply 18

x-Louise-x

I'm friends with my ex-boyfriends. We're not close friends, but we talk to each other on a regular basis and get on well. I don't think I could ever be best friends with an ex, seems a little awkward to me, but being friends with an ex without taking it to the extreme of that is fine with me.

Reply 19

missygeorgia

18

Yeah, but only after both parties have moved on; definitely not straight after the break up.

Can exes really be friends?

Related discussions

Articles for you