I didn’t consent to a video that was taken of me Watch

Xjabnrlv_saadx
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I’ve been seeing this guy for a while now and whilst we were having sex he took a video of us that I didn’t know about until after the event, and I certainly didn’t consent to it. This has completely broken my trust in this guy and hurt me so badly, he will never understand. Now I keep having panic attacks and mini flashbacks of what we were doing, and worrying that he has a copy of this video that he could post somewhere.

Has anyone got any advice on how to stop feeling this way as it’s really scared me. I know it sounds ridiculous but it hurts that he can carry on as normal knowing that I’d never have consented to that film being taken, which I’m sure is why he didn’t ask. This has really upset me and made me think twice about being in a relationship with this guy.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated xx
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LeapingLucy
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What he has done is illegal under voyeurism laws, so you could absolutely go to the police.
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Xjabnrlv_saadx
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(Original post by LeapingLucy)
What he has done is illegal under voyeurism laws, so you could absolutely go to the police.
Thank you, I wasn’t sure if this was an offence but I’ve read up on it now. I don’t think I want to go to the police but thanks for the advice!
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black tea
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(Original post by Xjabnrlv_saadx)
I’ve been seeing this guy for a while now and whilst we were having sex he took a video of us that I didn’t know about until after the event, and I certainly didn’t consent to it. This has completely broken my trust in this guy and hurt me so badly, he will never understand. Now I keep having panic attacks and mini flashbacks of what we were doing, and worrying that he has a copy of this video that he could post somewhere.

Has anyone got any advice on how to stop feeling this way as it’s really scared me. I know it sounds ridiculous but it hurts that he can carry on as normal knowing that I’d never have consented to that film being taken, which I’m sure is why he didn’t ask. This has really upset me and made me think twice about being in a relationship with this guy.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated xx
No advice on how to stop the anxiety, but I personally would end the relationship.
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Apachecow
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Have you simply asked him to delete it?
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Xjabnrlv_saadx
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(Original post by Apachecow)
Have you simply asked him to delete it?
Yes I have and he has but that’s not the point. It broke my trust, made me feel ashamed of our relationship, and like all I was worth to him was sexual gratification. It’s humiliating tbh because all I keep seeing is him filming me as if I was worthless to him. It hurt me and I don’t know if I’m overreacting.
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JTfoxlove
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Sorry this happened.

You don't get to choose how you react to these things. Your reaction is perfectly normal and many people would react worse. You've done nothing wrong and have nothing to feel bad about.

Based upon your symptoms I'd talk to a doctor ASAP.

That was at best horrendous, selfish, abusive illegal and worse deeply harmful decision making on the part of the partner. I'd recommend dropping this partner and taking some time off to work on making yourself feel better through, exercise and activities that make you feel positive and peaceful.

The good news is that you are safe and will come through this ok (healing will take time and the more you give it the better)- although again I'd talk to your doctor about how you are feeling and what they can do to support you through this trauma.
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Xjabnrlv_saadx
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(Original post by JTfoxlove)
Sorry this happened.

You don't get to choose how you react to these things. Your reaction is perfectly normal and many people would react worse. You've done nothing wrong and have nothing to feel bad about.

Based upon your symptoms I'd talk to a doctor ASAP.

That was at best horrendous, selfish, abusive illegal and worse deeply harmful decision making on the part of the partner. I'd recommend dropping this partner and taking some time off to work on making yourself feel better through, exercise and activities that make you feel positive and peaceful.

The good news is that you are safe and will come through this ok (healing will take time and the more you give it the better)- although again I'd talk to your doctor about how you are feeling and what they can do to support you through this trauma.
Thank you so much for your advice! I’m feeling much better now although every now and then I think about it and it stresses me.
He rang me to apologise and was clearly very upset but I’ve taken a break from seeing him for a while, definitely until my heads cleared up. I’m moving far away in a few weeks tho so I doubt we will see much of each other then.
Thank you! This made me feel a lot less weird for reacting in that way.
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