Nights Out 'Fad' at Uni Watch

Jaguar1200
Badges: 10
Rep:
?
#1
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#1
I want to ask a question regarding this 'nights out' fad.
Back-story: I was epileptic a long time ago, it doesn't affect my daily life but I can't stand discos, music concerts, exceedingly loud and flashy things (YT videos with bass bangers are ok, so no it's very acute). I almost fainted at a (LEGAL) disco, It was held by the World Scholars Cup (I think they call it the Scholars' Ball). If I consume alcohol it will bring back my seizures.
Question: It's already tiring to tell my fellow high schoolers to leave me be when they go to party (yo FBI we're all 18+ go away) and it's gonna get even worse at uni. How can I (politely) avoid freedom-crazed students; I want friends (or at least neutral guys) and animosity will only get me enemies.
1
reply
999tigger
Badges: 19
#2
Report 1 month ago
#2
(Original post by Jaguar1200)
I want to ask a question regarding this 'nights out' fad.
Back-story: I was epileptic a long time ago, it doesn't affect my daily life but I can't stand discos, music concerts, exceedingly loud and flashy things (YT videos with bass bangers are ok, so no it's very acute). I almost fainted at a (LEGAL) disco, It was held by the World Scholars Cup (I think they call it the Scholars' Ball). If I consume alcohol it will bring back my seizures.
Question: It's already tiring to tell my fellow high schoolers to leave me be when they go to party (yo FBI we're all 18+ go away) and it's gonna get even worse at uni. How can I (politely) avoid freedom-crazed students; I want friends (or at least neutral guys) and animosity will only get me enemies.
I dont see the issue, just be calm and tell them that youd love to go but you have a medical condition that may be triggered with excessively loud noise or flashing lights and you cant risk that.

Also plenty of people dont drink and just remind them you have a medical condition which means you cant drink alcohol. It is quite easy to avoid and there are many normal activities and socials you can engage in which wlll not involve either of the above.

Unless you dont wish to, then going to the bar or pub as a social experience with friends, doesnt have to involve flashing lights or loud music or you drinking anything alcoholic.

If people ask they are being social, just be assertive and say you appreciate them asking, but you cant. Assertiveness, but being polite and friendly will help you deal with it. If you say you want friends or to be social then join in other things like shopping , eating or join clubs and societies. It isnt a big deal, but if your reaction is to cut yourself off and not make any effort to socialise, you will just ned up with no friends because you made no effort.
2
reply
Jaguar1200
Badges: 10
Rep:
?
#3
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#3
(Original post by 999tigger)
If people ask they are being social, just be assertive and say you appreciate them asking, but you cant. Assertiveness, but being polite and friendly will help you deal with it. If you say you want friends or to be social then join in other things like shopping , eating or join clubs and societies. It isnt a big deal, but if your reaction is to cut yourself off and not make any effort to socialise, you will just ned up with no friends because you made no effort.
thanks. this was awesome advice. I was not really aware that other social activities could be significant. and yes, I will absolutely put in all the effort making friends requires. I was actually a social train wreck until AS Levels, when new people and new friends came into the scene. I should ofc have extended the attitude!
As to the rest of your post, telling people I have a condition not allowing me to drink, go clubbing etc. they sometimes dont believe and other times isolate (you know the id*ot mentality of MOST (not all) high school brats.
Last edited by Jaguar1200; 1 month ago
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#4
Report 1 month ago
#4
(Original post by Jaguar1200)
thanks. this was awesome advice. I was not really aware that other social activities could be significant. and yes, I will absolutely put in all the effort making friends requires. I was actually a social train wreck until AS Levels, when new people and new friends came into the scene. I should ofc have extended the attitude!
As to the rest of your post, telling people I have a condition not allowing me to drink, go clubbing etc. they sometimes dont believe and other times isolate (you know the id*ot mentality of MOST (not all) high school brats.
Don't even need to mention any medical conditions if you don't want to. Just say you're not really into the whole partying/clubbing thing. Lots of (better) ways to meet people than that, for example or your course or within your flat or in societies.
0
reply
Jaguar1200
Badges: 10
Rep:
?
#5
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#5
gptcha. this is why the internet exists: ppl can freely share solutions to others' problems
(Original post by Anonymous)
Don't even need to mention any medical conditions if you don't want to. Just say you're not really into the whole partying/clubbing thing. Lots of (better) ways to meet people than that, for example or your course or within your flat or in societies.
0
reply
999tigger
Badges: 19
#6
Report 1 month ago
#6
(Original post by Jaguar1200)
thanks. this was awesome advice. I was not really aware that other social activities could be significant. and yes, I will absolutely put in all the effort making friends requires. I was actually a social train wreck until AS Levels, when new people and new friends came into the scene. I should ofc have extended the attitude!
As to the rest of your post, telling people I have a condition not allowing me to drink, go clubbing etc. they sometimes dont believe and other times isolate (you know the id*ot mentality of MOST (not all) high school brats.
University is new and you get one chance to make a first impression. They either respect your wishes or they are aholes.
Its key to get on with your flatmates, so if you feel its a big issue, then go to the pub with them or have food, but just let it be known early on you have a medical condition, which means you cant go clubbing and have to avoid bright lights, lest you have a seizure and you also cant drink alcohol for similar reasons. You still want to be friends and can do other things outside that, but you just wanted to tell them up front lest they thought you were being antisocial. Thanks for understanding.

Then do other activities, improve social skills and make sure you have non nightclubbing friends, who are fine with you not drinking or just do activities which dont involve alcohol. It might seem a bit odd dealing with it up front and still pick your moment and attitude, but for you its the elephant in the room and by dealing with it early they cant say they didnt know and are more likely to respect your wishes. People are most respectful at the beginning when they dont know you.

On a personal level it doesnt matter whether they believe you or not, its your life and you can choose to do activities, drink or not. There are plenty of people who do not and plenty of non night clubbing activities. They tend to go a bit wild in the first 2-4 weeks and then it calms down as they do some work or get used to being away. Just smile and be happy for them having a good time rather than disapproving and anti social. You will be fine if you follow that.

The first term is really important for friends as thats when people are most open, hence you make the effort or you could find you are seen as anti social, people leave you alone , you dont make friends and then you end up lonely , isolated and depressed. Oh and plenty of people hate clubbing as well. I would say a high % go to the pub , but dont drink alcohol and think you could manage that to bond with flatmates. If you are happy, sociable and self confident then they are more likely to feel you fit in and not worry about your other rules. By second term people are already deciding who to live with and forming longer lasting friendships.
Last edited by 999tigger; 1 month ago
0
reply
Jaguar1200
Badges: 10
Rep:
?
#7
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#7
Thank u. I will follow your advice
(Original post by 999tigger)
University is new and you get one chance to make a first impression. They either respect your wishes or they are aholes.
Its key to get on with your flatmates, so if you feel its a big issue, then go to the pub with them or have food, but just let it be known early on you have a medical condition, which means you cant go clubbing and have to avoid bright lights, lest you have a seizure and you also cant drink alcohol for similar reasons. You still want to be friends and can do other things outside that, but you just wanted to tell them up front lest they thought you were being antisocial. Thanks for understanding.

Then do other activities, improve social skills and make sure you have non nightclubbing friends, who are fine with you not drinking or just do activities which dont involve alcohol. It might seem a bit odd dealing with it up front and still pick your moment and attitude, but for you its the elephant in the room and by dealing with it early they cant say they didnt know and are more likely to respect your wishes. People are most respectful at the beginning when they dont know you.

On a personal level it doesnt matter whether they believe you or not, its your life and you can choose to do activities, drink or not. There are plenty of people who do not and plenty of non night clubbing activities. They tend to go a bit wild in the first 2-4 weeks and then it calms down as they do some work or get used to being away. Just smile and be happy for them having a good time rather than disapproving and anti social. You will be fine if you follow that.

The first term is really important for friends as thats when people are most open, hence you make the effort or you could find you are seen as anti social, people leave you alone , you dont make friends and then you end up lonely , isolated and depressed. Oh and plenty of people hate clubbing as well. I would say a high % go to the pub , but dont drink alcohol and think you could manage that to bond with flatmates. If you are happy, sociable and self confident then they are more likely to feel you fit in and not worry about your other rules. By second term people are already deciding who to live with and forming longer lasting friendships.
0
reply
Drain-pipe
Badges: 3
Rep:
?
#8
Report 1 month ago
#8
It is alot healthier and better an experience in university to meet and interact with new people sober, not being able to fall back on alcohol or packed rooms of people really pushes your social growth. Plus day/night drinking can really **** you and your achievements up. Worse comes to worse youve got other medicinal herbs to puff. Unless of course you cant, then just dont do that
Posted on the TSR App. Download from Apple or Google Play
0
reply
Jaguar1200
Badges: 10
Rep:
?
#9
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#9
Ok. Thank u
(Original post by Drain-pipe)
It is alot healthier and better an experience in university to meet and interact with new people sober, not being able to fall back on alcohol or packed rooms of people really pushes your social growth. Plus day/night drinking can really **** you and your achievements up. Worse comes to worse youve got other medicinal herbs to puff. Unless of course you cant, then just dont do that
0
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

University open days

  • Keele University
    Postgraduate Open Afternoon Postgraduate
    Thu, 27 Jun '19
  • Birkbeck, University of London
    Undergraduate Open Day - Bloomsbury Undergraduate
    Thu, 27 Jun '19
  • University of Birmingham
    Undergraduate Open Day Undergraduate
    Fri, 28 Jun '19

What was the hardest A-level paper of 2019?

Edexcel Maths paper 1 (59)
22.1%
Edexcel Maths paper 2 (91)
34.08%
AQA Chemistry Paper 2 (57)
21.35%
Edexcel Maths Paper 3 (25)
9.36%
AQA Physics Paper 3 (35)
13.11%

Watched Threads

View All