Being forced to meet mums boyfriend Watch

Anonymous #1
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My mum has had a boyfriend for the past few months, I don't care about this she should be able to be happy. I have always said that I never want to be involved in it whatsoever, mainly I never want meet him since all of my mums relationships the past have been awful (mainly my brother and sisters biological dad who was emotionally abusive for 7 years and has left my mental state messed up, and the one after that "Jamie" who I was willing to give a chance and meet but he treated my brother and sister terribly and I basically had told him to go away). After these I am never having another male role model in my life. She has recently brought up the idea of having to meet him and I have told that I really don't want to. This led to an extensive argument which ended in her saying I don't have a choice. Through therapy since my mums past relationships I have realised that I have some trust issues with people that I don't know, especially one's that I fear may try and control me. I am also quite prone to have almost psychotic episodes around people like this. I know for a fact I will have one of these episodes if I am around this person. What am I going to do?
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Lolada
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Remember that not everyone is the same, give this guy a chance. The 'best' part about this is that you are aware that people can behave like her previous boyfriends. If I were you, I would tell her that you will meet him, and try to get along, if you see him act like the others did, then just be honest with your mum, tell her u need to talk, and tell her what's going on.

Being honest, no one can give u 100% perfect advice, we would need more info on what's happening, etc. But I do wish you luck, and hope that this one might be different. Live as you normally would, anything fishy -> tell your mum.
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YaliaV
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I don’t think she should be introducing you to a man after a few months. It seems like she has a habit of making bad choices, but she has no right to visit those choices on you. You need and deserve stability and she barely knows him after a few months. Your mum is probably just excited and she wants to share that excitement, but she is meant to think of you first.

Do you have any other adult family members who could speak to her on your behalf? How old are you?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by YaliaV)
I don’t think she should be introducing you to a man after a few months. It seems like she has a habit of making bad choices, but she has no right to visit those choices on you. You need and deserve stability and she barely knows him after a few months. Your mum is probably just excited and she wants to share that excitement, but she is meant to think of you first.

Do you have any other adult family members who could speak to her on your behalf? How old are you?
I'm 16, he has met my grand-parents and they are the only other family I can talk to. For some reason they agree that I should when I really don't want to.
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YaliaV
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm 16, he has met my grand-parents and they are the only other family I can talk to. For some reason they agree that I should when I really don't want to.
Sit down with your mum and reason with her. Try not to lose your temper or get emotional. Be honest and tell her how the previous relationships have affected you. Tell her that you’ll meet him in 6 month if they are still together, but the relationship is too fresh and you don’t want to get involved in a such a new relationship. You’ll be 18 in less than two years and you should have the right to choose. Think about writing your feelings down if that would make it easier.

I think she’s being very short-sighted and selfish if that’s any consolation. I’m sorry you went through all of that drama. I have a very toxic family, so I can relate to a degree. Be strong.
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doodle_333
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Maybe he's nicer than the others? Presumably your siblings will meet him so I would say go along so you can look out for them. You don't have to like him
(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm 16, he has met my grand-parents and they are the only other family I can talk to. For some reason they agree that I should when I really don't want to.
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