Can't get over exWatch
But then the next day I'll be reminded about why I broke up with him in the first place; we were bad at communicating and talking, he didn't message me that often and sometimes it was a bit awkward when we did. We would break up anyway after A levels as we'd probs go to different universities (unfortunately tho I was told by a friend that no, apparently we are going to the same university however he's taking a gap year).
BUT THEN I would tell myself it doesn't matter, I loved him and if all those negatives are true then why do I still miss him this much? (we were together 1 year and 4 months)
Were they just small qualities we would learn to fix with a little communication? We didn't even talk about it, had we tho things may have gotten better.
But then I'm only 18 and he was my first boyfriend so I haven't even experienced being with anyone else so am I so scared I won't find anyone else that I am wanting to go with something that I know is safe? There may be someone who is for me but obvs I won't know unless I try.
As you can see its an endless cycle of "breaking up was the better decision" and "what have you done you idiot, look at that good person that you just threw away"
I don't even know what I want from this post.
To vent? Yeah probably.
Anyone else gone through something similar and can give me advice?
the best thing to do now, is focus on yourself, and go to locations that help clear your mind a bit.
my top 3 places are:
a beach / coast-line.
any swimming pool / leisure centre
local park / something with nature in it.
why these 3 places? They all have calming effects to them. Listening to the waves of the sea, or hearing the birds chirp, or relaxing in the water. It's helped me after breakups.
You're 18 and have university ahead of you. The chance to meet hundreds (if not, thousands) of students, who can be friends for life.
Think of it this way. Each new person you make a friend with at uni, is a new destination for you to explore afterwards.
The internationals are the best. Free accommodation, hello!
Whatever you end up doing, know that you come first, and you should be happy.