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Emsygirl28
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I'm out of practise on AIC, and as the exam is on Thursday I figured I should probably get some advice. Trying to write about it feels rusty and I would appreciate some words on what I'm doing wrong, or need to include more of for top marks. So here is the first paragraph of an essay:

"How successfully does Priestley convey the different attitudes between the generations in AIC?"

Priestley’s didactic play is used to convey the differences between the two generations in “An Inspector Calls”, and present the ideas of socialism and collective responsibility in a positive light.

Firstly, the contrast between the generations is made clear by the play as it develops. Mrs Birling refers to Eva as “girls of that class”, and cruelly stating she thinks she “had only herself to blame”. The noun “girls” belittles the maturity and tragic suicide of Eva, and implies her class is of less value than her own, even suggesting this should be widely known through the passive lexical choice “that”. Mrs Birling does not accept responsibility or her clear part in the suicide, and is thus conveyed as callous and cruel, constructed to show capitalism negatively to the audience at a time of political unrest: Priestley’s view of uncaring, “hard-headed” capitalism contrasts with the evolved, mature Sheila, who showcases the impact of socialism on the younger generation. The Inspector, a mouthpiece for Priestley, states that we “are all members of one body”, the noun “body” creating imagery of unity and strength. This is a foil to Mr. Birlings view that a man “must look after himself and his own”, also emphasising how in the patriarchal society men treated their family as their property, and were cold towards others. Sheila however, juxtaposing her parents, matures due to Socialism, accepting responsibility for what she has done. Her character begins from using childish words such as “Mummy”, and attempting to please her fiancé before herself, shown through the question “Is it the one you wanted me to have”? However, as the play progresses, she labels Gerald “a fool”, an turns to more formal, independent names such as “father”. This emphasises her character development, which contrasts with that of her parents, as the atmosphere becomes more intense, reflected in the change of lighting to “brighter and harder”, from the Birlings previous rose-tinted “pink and intimate” setting, and view of the world. Therefore, Priestley conveys to the audience the impact of responsibility on the different generations at a time of political unrest, and it’s would be positive affect on society as a whole.

I would then open the next paragraph with an alternative interpretation and begin to talk about Gerald, who attempts to help Eva but his intentions are corrupted by capitalism - he is caught in the middle of the generations and displays how capitalism can ruin a man.
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HateSchx
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Fist of all
Your line of argument
What differences between the two generations? It is vague to just say there are differences
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HateSchx
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Okayyy your pharagraph

Lovely points, but too many
You have like 4 good point in one paragraphs. I aint an English teacher or something but I'm guessing your meant to further explain and develop each point. Instead of including everything in one paragraph which limits you to further explaining each characters issues you should make each paragraphs about one specific character.

Other then that gdd
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Emsygirl28
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Yeah I think that was what I needed to hear, thank you. At the moment I've been repeating points and not explaining them fully because I've been shoving too many in there. Kinda did that too much on paper one and f***ed it because I got overwhelmed and forgot to include so much, have to do better in paper 2 if I want to take it for A- level and be happy with my GCSE grade.
Thanks!
(Original post by HateSchx)
Okayyy your pharagraph

Lovely points, but too many
You have like 4 good point in one paragraphs. I aint an English teacher or something but I'm guessing your meant to further explain and develop each point. Instead of including everything in one paragraph which limits you to further explaining each characters issues you should make each paragraphs about one specific character.

Other then that gdd
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HateSchx
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Gll
(Original post by Emsygirl28)
Yeah I think that was what I needed to hear, thank you. At the moment I've been repeating points and not explaining them fully because I've been shoving too many in there. Kinda did that too much on paper one and f***ed it because I got overwhelmed and forgot to include so much, have to do better in paper 2 if I want to take it for A- level and be happy with my GCSE grade.
Thanks!
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Davy611
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Divide the paragraphs up a bit and add some personal opinion: you'd deserve a high mark for the quality of the analysis.
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