Can someone please mark this RE essay? Watch

liaente
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I have an RE exam tomorrow (GCSE AQA exam board).
I did a really quick 12 mark question and it took me 7 minutes to type out. This is probably the quality of work I'd produce in my exam as I took no references or any minutes extra than needed. It's bad, I know - but I must know what mark it would receive. And if the mark is really bad, could you please give any tips?

Question: "There are no good reasons for countries to possess nuclear weapons"
Many Christians may agree as nuclear weapons prohibit the loving nature God wants us to act onto others. For example, in the Bible Jesus said "those who live by the sword die by the sword". This ultimately shows that nuclear weapons only create a vicious cycle of blood feuds which will never reach a conclusion of peace.

Other Christians believe that if for any reason another country has caused pain or torment to its enemy, then a proportional retribution should follow. For in the Bible it says that we should take "an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth". This shows that following actions of injustice, we should be able to deploy the same attributes, otherwise if we stay silent, evil will persevere.

Some Jews may agree as nuclear weapons are an unjustifiable act of murder which only creates greater pain to others. In the Torah it says "if one man murders a man, the scriptures will consider him as if he killed the whole world." This shows the importance of sanctity of life as God created everyone and it's only acceptable for God to take back the life that He created.

Other Jews may disagree as sometimes in order to annihilate any evil doings, violence through weaponry must be used, otherwise being too kind will lead to a greater evil. In the Torah it says, "sword against nation shall never again know war". This quote demonstrates that Jews look forward to a time of peace, elucidating that nuclear weapons should be used in dire cases if this is the only way to achieve their Messianic age.

In conclusion, both religions do not support such a high mass of killing but do consider it in dire cases where no other form of retribution or deterrence can occur.
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anamazingperson
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i would give it a 10/11
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liaente
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It's out of twelve marks ??
(Original post by anamazingperson)
i would give it a 10/11
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SlightlySummer
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I think it would get a 9 or 10/12
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liaente
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Thank you for your reply Would you recommend any tips for full marks?
(Original post by SlightlySummer)
I think it would get a 9 or 10/12
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juliesmith145
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its really good
think it deserves a 11
try putting own opinion aswell the religion arguments u have backed up with religious references
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liaente
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Really?? I think it's awful, but hearing that makes me so much more confident thank you for your tips!
(Original post by juliesmith145)
its really good
think it deserves a 11
try putting own opinion aswell the religion arguments u have backed up with religious references
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SlightlySummer
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Instead of Judaism I'm doing Islam. Also, it's themes so I would bring in an atheist/secular point of view and put that in the against paragraph. But it's a good essay, how long did it take you to write?
(Original post by liaente)
Thank you for your reply Would you recommend any tips for full marks?
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liaente
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Thank you very much!
It took me 7 minutes, it was quite rushed. I tried to put myself in the mindset of how I would write in the exam.
(Original post by SlightlySummer)
Instead of Judaism I'm doing Islam. Also, it's themes so I would bring in an atheist/secular point of view and put that in the against paragraph. But it's a good essay, how long did it take you to write?
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SlightlySummer
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Well it's good for 7 minutes, good luck tomorrow!
(Original post by liaente)
Thank you very much!
It took me 7 minutes, it was quite rushed. I tried to put myself in the mindset of how I would write in the exam.
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liaente
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Thanks! You too if you're also doing an exam
(Original post by SlightlySummer)
Well it's good for 7 minutes, good luck tomorrow!
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anamazingperson
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yh good luck, don't stress, you will be fine
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SlightlySummer
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(Original post by liaente)
Thanks! You too if you're also doing an exam
Thanks yeah, I'm doing themes a, b, c & d (Islam and Christianity)
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liaente
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I hope so!
(Original post by anamazingperson)
yh good luck, don't stress, you will be fine
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username4563202
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This is really good that Im envious of this answer. Unlike you, I'm going to fail because I've even forgotten the bloody structure of this test. How many "themes" do we have to pick? And do we need to know a lot on stuff like design argument?
(Original post by liaente)
I have an RE exam tomorrow (GCSE AQA exam board).
I did a really quick 12 mark question and it took me 7 minutes to type out. This is probably the quality of work I'd produce in my exam as I took no references or any minutes extra than needed. It's bad, I know - but I must know what mark it would receive. And if the mark is really bad, could you please give any tips?

Question: "There are no good reasons for countries to possess nuclear weapons"
Many Christians may agree as nuclear weapons prohibit the loving nature God wants us to act onto others. For example, in the Bible Jesus said "those who live by the sword die by the sword". This ultimately shows that nuclear weapons only create a vicious cycle of blood feuds which will never reach a conclusion of peace.

Other Christians believe that if for any reason another country has caused pain or torment to its enemy, then a proportional retribution should follow. For in the Bible it says that we should take "an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth". This shows that following actions of injustice, we should be able to deploy the same attributes, otherwise if we stay silent, evil will persevere.

Some Jews may agree as nuclear weapons are an unjustifiable act of murder which only creates greater pain to others. In the Torah it says "if one man murders a man, the scriptures will consider him as if he killed the whole world." This shows the importance of sanctity of life as God created everyone and it's only acceptable for God to take back the life that He created.

Other Jews may disagree as sometimes in order to annihilate any evil doings, violence through weaponry must be used, otherwise being too kind will lead to a greater evil. In the Torah it says, "sword against nation shall never again know war". This quote demonstrates that Jews look forward to a time of peace, elucidating that nuclear weapons should be used in dire cases if this is the only way to achieve their Messianic age.

In conclusion, both religions do not support such a high mass of killing but do consider it in dire cases where no other form of retribution or deterrence can occur.
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That's all folks
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(Original post by liaente)
I have an RE exam tomorrow (GCSE AQA exam board).
I did a really quick 12 mark question and it took me 7 minutes to type out. This is probably the quality of work I'd produce in my exam as I took no references or any minutes extra than needed. It's bad, I know - but I must know what mark it would receive. And if the mark is really bad, could you please give any tips?

Question: "There are no good reasons for countries to possess nuclear weapons"
Many Christians may agree as nuclear weapons prohibit the loving nature God wants us to act onto others. For example, in the Bible Jesus said "those who live by the sword die by the sword". This ultimately shows that nuclear weapons only create a vicious cycle of blood feuds which will never reach a conclusion of peace.

Other Christians believe that if for any reason another country has caused pain or torment to its enemy, then a proportional retribution should follow. For in the Bible it says that we should take "an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth". This shows that following actions of injustice, we should be able to deploy the same attributes, otherwise if we stay silent, evil will persevere.

Some Jews may agree as nuclear weapons are an unjustifiable act of murder which only creates greater pain to others. In the Torah it says "if one man murders a man, the scriptures will consider him as if he killed the whole world." This shows the importance of sanctity of life as God created everyone and it's only acceptable for God to take back the life that He created.

Other Jews may disagree as sometimes in order to annihilate any evil doings, violence through weaponry must be used, otherwise being too kind will lead to a greater evil. In the Torah it says, "sword against nation shall never again know war". This quote demonstrates that Jews look forward to a time of peace, elucidating that nuclear weapons should be used in dire cases if this is the only way to achieve their Messianic age.

In conclusion, both religions do not support such a high mass of killing but do consider it in dire cases where no other form of retribution or deterrence can occur.
I would give 8
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liaente
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Ah I'm blushing I hope you truly mean it.
The structure I use is simple and brief: PEE(L)
P - point
E - evidence
E - explanation
L - link

I don't do design argument, sorry I do "Religion & Life" - "Religion, Peace & Conflict" - "Religion, Crime & Punishment" & "Sexual relationships"
(Original post by RR.Nabil)
This is really good that Im envious of this answer. Unlike you, I'm going to fail because I've even forgotten the bloody structure of this test. How many "themes" do we have to pick? And do we need to know a lot on stuff like design argument?
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That's all folks
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4, you do need to know the design argument for theme c
(Original post by RR.Nabil)
This is really good that Im envious of this answer. Unlike you, I'm going to fail because I've even forgotten the bloody structure of this test. How many "themes" do we have to pick? And do we need to know a lot on stuff like design argument?
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liaente
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Thank you! Are there any tips you would give me?
(Original post by That's all folks)
I would give 8
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That's all folks
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I would recommend at the very least saying which book of the bible the quote is from I.e. exodus. I don't do judaism so I can't speak on those quotes. I would also only do two points in favour of your argument and one against and make your argument clear in a two line intro.
Try and evaluate each argument. I.e. say why it is a strong argument if it is a point for and say why it a weak argument when it is a point against
(Original post by liaente)
Thank you! Are there any tips you would give me?
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