I am so lonely and insecure [HELP] Watch

Anonymous #1
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I feel so lonely and insecure in school. I am in year 11, so there isn't a time to make "new friends" now, but I feel so lonely in school and just in general. At home, it's just my mum and my twin siblings who are 3 years old. I have a cousin two years younger than me that I've grown up with. We are a little similar but she has changed over the past year. She hangs around with the loud and bait people, she gets into fights a lot, goes to underaged parties. Everytime I go the visit now, I feel so lonely because we are now different and her friends are mostly girls who are like herself and because I don't have much friends outside of school to call on or talk to sometimes, I have to hang out with them and it's embarrassing (especially when I've been told I need to find more friends).

I don't really have much friends in my area. I know about 2 from primary school and a few from a programme I did years ago, but I don't talk to them that much and I don't even see them around these days. In school I have some friends that I talk to, but most aren't the kind of friends that I want/aren't my type of friends. I never feel like I belong in a friendship group even in primary school, (although I did always have a friendship group I hung around with on/off, but we always separated easily because they annoyed me). I'm never involved their groups chats on Whatsapp or Discord, never involved in their group outings after school or aren't someone that they'll pick for a group project, basically they don't notice me or whatever. I have changed myself to fit in with some group's sometimes but I still never get included. There is a group that I have desperately tried to be friends with but I get so shy/intimidated around them and barely say anything. They are all one of the sporty people of the year and whilst I'm a little sporty, I feel that we might have some things in common. I'm known for being quite annoying but (a, I try to be funny sometimes but I might accidentally take it too far and never know when to stop and (b, I annoy certain people that I get along with for jokes etc) but I still get painted as annoying even when for the past year I've stopped and only annoy as jokes the people that I'm friends with. I can be talkative but only because I don't want to seem boring and I want them to be my friend.

Sometimes I feel maybe it's my fault because there are times where I've preferred to be lonely like IDK how to describe it but the squad might be sitting down and discussing, I'll prefer to sit by myself and distant myself sometimes making me feel bored and lonely. IDK why I do that sometimes, but maybe it's the fear of not fitting in idk.

Finally, there is someone I'm so jealous of in my year. We seem to be so similar as we are similar in sports and small things like contributing the same time as each other, having similar opinions sometimes idk but I just see a resemblance towards us. But he has more friends than me inside and outside of school, is friends with the people I want to be friends with, has a higher reputation in sports (despite our similarities) and seems to be better at more things than me. I just want to be him so bad and I always try to act like him.

I'm going to sixth form soon and I always imagine that I'll have more friends, but how do I cure this loneliness and insecurities I have now.
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SlightlySummer
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When you go 6th form, be 'loud' and friendly. It may be hard but I guess you've got to 'fake it till you make it.' You got this!
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Anonymous #1
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Thanks I guess. In year 7 this is what I did. I was loud and friendly and generally people I barely talk to now were people I talked with. But it all dissolved towards the end of year 7.
(Original post by SlightlySummer)
When you go 6th form, be 'loud' and friendly. It may be hard but I guess you've got to 'fake it till you make it.' You got this!
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Sharmarko
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Hit the gym. Or join some sports (you say you are a little sporty - pick something that you enjoy, and do it for yourself).



Joining the gym is a miracle cure for insecurity - not to become "big and vain" but just to become more comfortable and proud of yourself.
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meepmorp
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Hey I'm not sure how much help I'll be but I was in a similar situation to you and I know how much it hurts and how isolating it can be. I was alone throughout secondary school and as a result I was terrified about sixth form and not being able to make friends, I was quiet and anxious and definitely didn't do much to reach out because I was nervous. I went to a different sixth form to get away from the people who'd rejected me and one day I overheard some people talking about something I was interested in and I recklessly joined in. I didn't have to change myself for it but those people are now my closest friends 2 years on. Basically it sucks now, but it can and will get better. Don't try to change yourself just to be accepted, you deserve acceptance and love just as you are. I hope this is a little reassuring and I wish you all the best sunshine xx
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Adz2042
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Best way to make friends with new people is to not ask their name on the first meeting.
Why?
asking their name can end the convo like a snap of fingers.
so best ask for directions to somewhere you know, but get them to take you, so you can chat to them en-route.
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fish finger fan
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Sorry to hear what you’re going through, you should just be yourself, don’t change to fit in. You should be happy with who you are, if not then speak to someone who you can trust, maybe your mother. I you feel really lonely, feel free to PM me, can’t promise I’ll be much use though. Hopefully this has been helpful, good luck with sixth form and exams. You are not alone, and don’t change yourself for anyone.
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Anonymous #1
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My plan is to hit to gym after GCSE's. There is a local gym near my house that I'm planning on going to. Maybe I'll make friends.
(Original post by Sharmarko)
Hit the gym. Or join some sports (you say you are a little sporty - pick something that you enjoy, and do it for yourself).



Joining the gym is a miracle cure for insecurity - not to become "big and vain" but just to become more comfortable and proud of yourself.
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Anonymous #1
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Thank you so much <3. I hope it'll get better and I hope the sixth form I go to will be better too. When I went for an open day, me and my tour guides had a blast and I felt so comfortable in the school.
(Original post by meepmorp)
Hey I'm not sure how much help I'll be but I was in a similar situation to you and I know how much it hurts and how isolating it can be. I was alone throughout secondary school and as a result I was terrified about sixth form and not being able to make friends, I was quiet and anxious and definitely didn't do much to reach out because I was nervous. I went to a different sixth form to get away from the people who'd rejected me and one day I overheard some people talking about something I was interested in and I recklessly joined in. I didn't have to change myself for it but those people are now my closest friends 2 years on. Basically it sucks now, but it can and will get better. Don't try to change yourself just to be accepted, you deserve acceptance and love just as you are. I hope this is a little reassuring and I wish you all the best sunshine xx
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Anonymous #1
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Lol I guess I'll do that then. I always try to conversate and as the conversation begins I ask for their name. I guess I'll not ask for names on first meeting.
(Original post by Adz2042)
Best way to make friends with new people is to not ask their name on the first meeting.
Why?
asking their name can end the convo like a snap of fingers.
so best ask for directions to somewhere you know, but get them to take you, so you can chat to them en-route.
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Anonymous #1
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Thanks. I've spoken to my mother about this and she tells me that friends will come naturally but I'm still waiting months later. I feel like how I appear to others is not really who I am. I feel like people see me as annonying or boring or whatever, but I'm not like that at home. Love your username ^.^
(Original post by fish finger fan)
Sorry to hear what you’re going through, you should just be yourself, don’t change to fit in. You should be happy with who you are, if not then speak to someone who you can trust, maybe your mother. I you feel really lonely, feel free to PM me, can’t promise I’ll be much use though. Hopefully this has been helpful, good luck with sixth form and exams. You are not alone, and don’t change yourself for anyone.
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sh.hr
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I guess what you need is a fresh start. I met a lot of friends through playing video games and joining clubs that I was interested in. Clubs are especially good for example sports, gaming, coding etc. Maybe give those a try although be careful about meeting people through the internet alone: the friends I met online just happened to go to a nearby school.
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