Muslim guys - would you marry a non-virgin girl? Watch

Anonymous #1
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Also, what age would you want to get married and what age would you like / expect your wife to be at that point?
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jasminev
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im not a guy but i sure am the answer would be a no ? :') .... at least thats what they told me
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TheNamesBond.
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I've seen it happen, the answer I think would be mainly towards the 'no' scale.
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Anonymous #2
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I wanna be about 25 or 26 when I'm married. Hopefully by then I'll have a good steady job that pays well. Have kids about a year or 2 later
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Anonymous #3
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ye, she has more experience than a virgin:borat:
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Anonymous #4
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The truth is, as a muslim "guy" myself, no I would not marry a non virgin women as I am a virgin myself. However thats if its well known shes not a virgin, otherwise how would i know?

Also im 22 at the moment looking to get married to someone say between 19-22. But Its quite young compared to others circumstances.
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Gold DInar
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The Prophet(saw) tells the muslim men and the muslimah women what to look for in their potential spouse, here the topic is regarding muslim men so this will only be discussed. The prophet(saw) tells the muslim men what to look for in this hadith:

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Women are married for four reasons: wealth, beauty, lineage and religious commitment. Choose the one who is religiously-committed, may your hands be rubbed with dust (i.e., may you prosper).” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 3/242; Muslim, 2/1086.

While these are the 4 things one should look for, that does not mean it is restricted to only this, you can also have your own personal preferances.

Allah(swt) also tells us in the Qur'an:

"Impure Women are for impure men, and impure men for impure women and women of purity are for men of purity, and men of purity are for women of purity." - Qur'an[24:26]

Personally, it really depends on the situation. If she is a widow, or a divorcee, or this woman has commited Zina. It depends on whether they have repented sincerely also and they regret it, and they are now firm and steadfast upon manhajus salafiyyah. However, I would prefer not to marry one though.

Although in recent times I heard a lot of the muslimaat who were upon the manhaj did make hijrah especially a few years ago after the fake "khilafah" built upon lies, deception and deviance was announced so there might be a lack of supply now of those who are upon the correct manhaj. So, I would be open, and be willing to marry someone who is mould-able atleast. It depends on their attachment to Al Islam and whether they wish to/are seeking knowledge in Islam maybe, and whether they are career-focused at the point where they would neglect children and family tasks. I would prefer that my wife did not work but if she wants to she can as there is no restriction upon that in Islam, however if she is going to let her career get in the way of bigger rights and responsibilities then No. So it depends on other factors more-so than whether she is a "non-virgin". And I would want to be married by the time I am 23 max, so I have still a while before im 23(not disclosing my age here).

In Islam it is also encouraged for muslims to get married young when they have the ability to do so ie. be able to fulfill the rights of the their husband/wife(In Islam Allah(swt) has given the husband rights over the wife and the wife rights over the husband):

Narrated by al-Bukhaari (5066) and Muslim (1400) from Ibn Mas‘ood, who said: We were with the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him), young men who had nothing of wealth. The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said to us: “O young men, whoever among you can afford it, let him get married, for it is more effective in lowering the gaze and guarding one’s chastity. And whoever cannot afford it should fast, for it will be a shield for him.”

(Original post by Anonymous)
Also, what age would you want to get married and what age would you like / expect your wife to be at that point?
Last edited by Gold DInar; 1 month ago
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asif007
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I use the word Muslim very loosely to describe myself. I drink alcohol and I'm not a virgin. Hence I don't expect a potential wife to be a virgin. Obviously that depends on whether I find someone in the first place. I'm on the wrong side of 25 and I'm not extremely good looking nor am I built huge from the gym. I don't have a great relationship with my parents so I don't expect them to find anyone for me either. If things continue the way they are then my time for marriage won't come until 40 or 45, if ever. By that time my only options will be widows or divorcees with children - obviously neither of those are virgins. But that's just the way it is, I accept it and move on. What I know for sure is that I will be married to my job and working all the hours to bring in a sizeable salary to support myself and myself alone. No point sharing your life with someone if they aren't fully committed, and being a permanently single man at my age, it's pretty much impossible to find a woman of a similar age who agrees with this. Especially now Muslim girls are getting married younger and younger all the time. I don't really have a lot in common with Muslim girls anyway and I've cut a lot of them out of my life - I identify more with Hindu and Sikh girls who have been better friends along the way.
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mgi
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(Original post by Anonymous)
The truth is, as a muslim "guy" myself, no I would not marry a non virgin women as I am a virgin myself. However thats if its well known shes not a virgin, otherwise how would i know?

Also im 22 at the moment looking to get married to someone say between 19-22. But Its quite young compared to others circumstances.
She should understand Islam and never tell you about past sexual mistakes if she has any! Also, an experienced woman can teach you wonderful things!
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londonmyst
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(Original post by Anonymous)
otherwise how would i know?
If she is a widow, has biological children or has been divorced.
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mgi
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(Original post by TheNamesBond.)
I've seen it happen, the answer I think would be mainly towards the 'no' scale.
A muslim woman should never tell you she isnt a virgin. She should say she is until she gets married and sleeps with her husband. And still she should never tell that she, say, slept with a guy at uni. Muslim ladies keep your business private. Guys cannot tell if you are a virgin or not so don't chat your business!
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TheNamesBond.
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(Original post by mgi)
A muslim woman should never tell you she isnt a virgin. She should say she is until she gets married and sleeps with her husband. And still she should never tell that she, say, slept with a guy at uni. Muslim ladies keep your business private. Guys cannot tell if you are a virgin or not so don't chat your business!
I don't think that's a good way to approach it.

The key to a relationship is to be open and honest, starting it off with a lie like that isn't good news.
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Anonymous #5
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Most Muslim guys have done it. So as a Muslim girl that’s being celibate I will only marry a virgin guy.

Some Muslims having done the act want a hijabi virgin wife, like no wtf we behaved and we aren’t your gift to ‘pop’.
/rant
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Anonymous #6
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As a 20 year old guy being a virgin, I would say no
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Anonymous #7
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Depends ....... If it was once or twice I wouldn’t care. But if she is known to have sex often then probably not - also it depends if she tells me or if I learn from someone else
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username4697134
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Ofcourse I would. I am from a very conservative muslim family. And I would. If she accepted islam that it
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anosmianAcrimony
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(Original post by mgi)
A muslim woman should never tell you she isnt a virgin. She should say she is until she gets married and sleeps with her husband. And still she should never tell that she, say, slept with a guy at uni. Muslim ladies keep your business private. Guys cannot tell if you are a virgin or not so don't chat your business!
Sounds like a recipe for a really terrible wedding night when the guy finds out he's been lied to. I don't care whether a person is a virgin personally but I can imagine some people would get really angry!
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londonmyst
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(Original post by mgi)
She should understand Islam and never tell you about past sexual mistakes if she has any!
No point building a marriage on lies or false expectations.
A lot of people know it is best to choose potential spouses who are compatible with them, have humanity and are honest with people.
Often attitudes to a partner's past, religion and future aims are dealbreakers for potential on relationships.

This is always such an interesting issue.
I once had to do a study on religious attitudes amongst virgin females regarding being willing to marry an equally religious widowed or divorced man.
The findings were quite surprising to me.
All the women who were followers of islam said that they would be willing to consider such a man, whether he had children or not.
All the fundamentalist christians said that they only wanted a husband who was a virgin.
Sikh, hindu, catholic and baptist participants were willing to consider the man only if he did not have children and had not been divorced.
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mgi
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(Original post by TheNamesBond.)
I don't think that's a good way to approach it.

The key to a relationship is to be open and honest, starting it off with a lie like that isn't good news.
No trust me my friend. You really need to have the true heart of a woman before you ever marry her and just because had sexual intercourse before she met you does not make her a bad person or unsuitable for you to marry. I don't know why there are still women who still accept that virginity means virtuous, kind and loving. It definitely doesn't. And why should she tell you about past mistakes. That is not even Islamic to do that. No , muslim ladies,; your sex lufe before marriage is no ones business. If a man asks about you say that you are a virgin and dont feel guilty. It is the best way!
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londonmyst
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(Original post by asif007)
I use the word Muslim very loosely to describe myself. I drink alcohol and I'm not a virgin. Hence I don't expect a potential wife to be a virgin. Obviously that depends on whether I find someone in the first place. I'm on the wrong side of 25 and I'm not extremely good looking nor am I built huge from the gym. I don't have a great relationship with my parents so I don't expect them to find anyone for me either. If things continue the way they are then my time for marriage won't come until 40 or 45, if ever. By that time my only options will be widows or divorcees with children - obviously neither of those are virgins. But that's just the way it is, I accept it and move on. What I know for sure is that I will be married to my job and working all the hours to bring in a sizeable salary to support myself and myself alone. No point sharing your life with someone if they aren't fully committed, and being a permanently single man at my age, it's pretty much impossible to find a woman of a similar age who agrees with this. Especially now Muslim girls are getting married younger and younger all the time. I don't really have a lot in common with Muslim girls anyway and I've cut a lot of them out of my life - I identify more with Hindu and Sikh girls who have been better friends along the way.
I hope you meet the right woman when the time is right.
Good luck!
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