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Uni and relationships

right...of those people going to uni in september who are currently in a relationship, who intends to remain with their current partner and try a Long distance relationship?

People who have gone to uni in previous years with a partner have you stayed with them or did things turn sour?

Just out of interest.

My answer is yes i am currently in a relationship, I'm hopefully going to Cardiff, he's most probably staying near home and going to to Birmingham, We have decided to give a LDR a go as things are looking pretty rosie right now :love:

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Reply 1

suek

I do! But my boyfriend is already 800 miles away so it doesn't make much difference!

Edit: It's actually 520 by air :smile:

Reply 2

beccadimambro

I had 2 friends who tried to do long-distance...he stayed in Glasgow and she moved down to London. She came back for Christmas, and he said their reunion was sensational. They had missed each other so much, and they just wanted to spend all their time together.
Then she came back in March, and they broke it off. He said the first time, all he could think about was her, but then when she came back and he had to deal with the reality of having a relationship for a week every three months hit him. And it had hit her. Going to uni made them develop as people, and because they didn't develop together, the differences were just too big to maintain a proper relationship.

BUT on a more positive note; I guess it just depends on the couple. He's since confided in me things about their relationship that makes it seem doomed from the start, but if you're rock solid right now, then I guess there's no reason why you can't give it a go.

Reply 3

estel

Of the four people in a relationship on my corridor at University, 3 have made it through the first year together without breaking up :smile:

Reply 4

daryush

beccadimambro

things about their relationship that makes it seem doomed from the start

****. I should probs start preparing myself ... :p:

Actually me and my gf are currently 100 miles away, shall be 400 miles when we both move to uni.

Reply 5

.X.alysha.X.

I want to be single when I go to uni, as I dont want any ties or feel restricted in any way but then im not in love and I understand why people have big dilemmas over this

Reply 6

southernlight

I'm in a relationship atm, but he's a year above so we've already ahd the whole going off to uni thing. We did break up last Sep (due to something else. Biggest regret of my life) and got back together at Christmas (best thing :biggrin:

) and we're def staying together when I go off to uni, since we already know we work long distance. It's hard but I'd prefer to be with him rather than anyone else :0

Reply 7

Punk Phloyd

I'm currently in a relationship and intend to stay together but i'm going to Manchester and she is going to Leeds. So it is long distance, but not unmanageably so.

Reply 8

HacklyFracture

I'm in a long term relationship at the moment and hoping to stay together when we both go to uni. I'll be in Birmingham and he'll be in Stoke so it's not too long on the train. Neither of us are living in halls either so staying over for weekends/holidays won't be a problem. Hopefully we can make it work.

I know more people who stayed together through uni than split up actually. My sister and her boyfriend stayed together through all 4 years of her degree (they've since split up but for completely unrelated reasons and over a year after she finished).

Reply 9

Howells

If I'm still with my current girlfriend next September (long way off yet! :smile:

) then I think we'll give the whole LDR a shot, as I'd really like to stay in this relationship. However, as it's so far in the future I try not to think about it for now and just hope that when the time comes, we'll be able to decide what's best for us, and I appreciate that it's a very hard decision to make.

Reply 10

beccadimambro

daryush

****. I should probs start preparing myself ... :p:

My post ended up seeming really cynical, and I didn't mean it to come across like that as much as it did, it's just that the situation I described is the only one I've personally encountered.

Basically, his heart wasn't in it. Her grandfather died a week before he was going to break up with her, but he's a good guy so he couldn't. Then she was going to Uni, and he thought that'd end their relationship, but it could be amicable and they could go back to being friends, but she had her heart set on a very big future together. Just in very different places, geographically and mentally.

Good luck to you, though :smile:

Reply 11

suek

Punk Phloyd

I'm currently in a relationship and intend to stay together but i'm going to Manchester and she is going to Leeds. So it is long distance, but not unmanageably so.

That's actually really manageable - I was living in Leeds for a bit and there's a direct train which only takes about an hour if I remember rightly!

Reply 12

h82think

My fiance went to uni in September, and we've still managed to stay together (I visit him at weekends).

Reply 13

daryush

beccadimambro

but she had her heart set on a very big future together. Just in very different places, geographically and mentally.

The amount of screwedness I'm in is just funny, to be honest :p:

Na, it's actually ok. Thanks for the luck anyway though :smile:

Reply 14

little_green

My ex and I had been together 3 months before we went to uni - him to Cambridge and me to Aberystwyth, about 7 hour train journey. For the first semester we were still really close, but after Christmas things had definitely started to cool, on his part anyway. He threw himself into the uni life, started rowing, cycling, running, and also took on extra modules, whilst I was quite homesick and moped about a lot. In the end we discovered we were just too different (among other factors) and split up in August after first year.
All of my friends/flatmates who came to uni in a relationship with someone back home ended up splitting up, but then so did two couples I knew who went to the same uni as their partner.
Sorry, that's a bit gloomy lol, I'm sure it works for a lot of people though! :smile:

Reply 15

username18334

I made it through my first year and up until the easter holidays in an LDR. However i broke it off then - we were living completly seperate lives and hardly saw each other because i was stupidly busy with uni and she had a full time job and often had to work weekends. As said above, we developed into completly seperate people and didnt really have much in common anymore.
Dont let my story put you off though! I think it does depend on the couple.

Reply 16

suek

little_green

Sorry, that's a bit gloomy lol, I'm sure it works for a lot of people though! :smile:

Aye it does :smile:

We have a whole society for it!!

Reply 17

little_green

Good good

Anyway, as it turns out my second relationship was also long distance and we are still together now.

Reply 18

Something-Witty

I'm staying with my Boyf.
Though he already lives up there, so things will get lots easier :smile:

Reply 19

strawberry

I went to the States, and my then boyfriend went to Canada. We were three timezones apart and had no way of ever seeing each other except over the summer. 7.5 months in we quit. I'm now seeing someone on my campus and he just does his own thing.