I’m hurting. Please Help! Watch

Arron2134
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#1
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I’m madly infatuated by this girl.

We are the best of the friends during the good times.

She has a boyfriend of 4-5 years

She’s expressed her unhappiness with him and that she cares for me.

She gets jealous when I’m around other women.

She blows so hot and cold and when she isn’t nice she can go the extremes of not even acknowledging me at all.

I really, really like this girl but it’s taking over my life as my mental health is be affected.

What should I do?
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SlightlySummer
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Talk to her, seems sketchy
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Arron2134
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(Original post by SlightlySummer)
Talk to her, seems sketchy
There’s a lot more sketchiness!

I’ve told her I like her twice.

She’s continued to be extremely friendly with me.

We spend 1 to 1 time for hours after work which her boyfriend would not know about.

But when she’s not nice I call her up on it and she denies being any different which is soooooo frustrating!!!!


To you what seems sketchy?
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HPV123
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firstly how old are you
(Original post by SlightlySummer)
Talk to her, seems sketchy
(Original post by Arron2134)
I’m madly infatuated by this girl.

We are the best of the friends during the good times.

She has a boyfriend of 4-5 years

She’s expressed her unhappiness with him and that she cares for me.

She gets jealous when I’m around other women.

She blows so hot and cold and when she isn’t nice she can go the extremes of not even acknowledging me at all.

I really, really like this girl but it’s taking over my life as my mental health is be affected.

What should I do?
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Arron2134
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She’s 21. I’m 23.
(Original post by HPV123)
firstly how old are you
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HPV123
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bro you need to tell her this fr. U gotta tell her so that she knows what ur feeling. U gotta be straight up clearly but i cant lie if i was her boyfriend I wouldn't want someone else tryna make moves on her. This means you gotta tell her to end it wit him if you wanna have a closer relationship like that. I ain't tryna upset you but this is facts bro you need to cut to the chase and tell her the situation in ur eyes

Good Luck bro
(Original post by Arron2134)
She’s 21. I’m 23.
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Arron2134
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The problem is I’ve told her twice that I like her. This was on the basis of her telling me how unhappy she was with her boyfriend. She’s told me that after telling me it was never her intention for me to feel that way she felt ill, sick, unable to sleep or eat...

But we still have an excellent relationship and only last Friday we were sat for a few hours till late together sharing how we cared about each other and all I could think was where the **** is your boyfriend?

We’ve worked together for 3 years but she came into my life heavily about 5 months ago which is inline with the time we have been spending with eachother. There was a time where I wouldn’t have even said good morning to her.

But here we are present day she’s been of with me other staff are noticing her jealousy and sudden changes in behaviour towards me which is causing concern.

I like her ALOT we’d be great together.

There’s no way her boyfriend knows about me even if we are just friends.

(Original post by HPV123)
bro you need to tell her this fr. U gotta tell her so that she knows what ur feeling. U gotta be straight up clearly but i cant lie if i was her boyfriend I wouldn't want someone else tryna make moves on her. This means you gotta tell her to end it wit him if you wanna have a closer relationship like that. I ain't tryna upset you but this is facts bro you need to cut to the chase and tell her the situation in ur eyes

Good Luck bro
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HPV123
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tell her about the toll its taking on you tell her exaclty how you feel about your mental health
(Original post by Arron2134)
The problem is I’ve told her twice that I like her. This was on the basis of her telling me how unhappy she was with her boyfriend. She’s told me that after telling me it was never her intention for me to feel that way she felt ill, sick, unable to sleep or eat...

But we still have an excellent relationship and only last Friday we were sat for a few hours till late together sharing how we cared about each other and all I could think was where the **** is your boyfriend?

We’ve worked together for 3 years but she came into my life heavily about 5 months ago which is inline with the time we have been spending with eachother. There was a time where I wouldn’t have even said good morning to her.

But here we are present day she’s been of with me other staff are noticing her jealousy and sudden changes in behaviour towards me which is causing concern.

I like her ALOT we’d be great together.

There’s no way her boyfriend knows about me even if we are just friends.
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Anonymous #1
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Yawn, what's new
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Lilligant22
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If she's so unhappy with him then why doesn't she leave him?
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Anonymous #2
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tell her, honestly and lay everything out. offer to give her time to think about it but don't wait forever
(Original post by Arron2134)
I’m madly infatuated by this girl.

We are the best of the friends during the good times.

She has a boyfriend of 4-5 years

She’s expressed her unhappiness with him and that she cares for me.

She gets jealous when I’m around other women.

She blows so hot and cold and when she isn’t nice she can go the extremes of not even acknowledging me at all.

I really, really like this girl but it’s taking over my life as my mental health is be affected.

What should I do?
1
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Anonymous #2
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don't settle, if you want her then be honest. but if she doesn't go for it too then walk away because you deserve someone who puts in 100% where you do
(Original post by Arron2134)
There’s a lot more sketchiness!

I’ve told her I like her twice.

She’s continued to be extremely friendly with me.

We spend 1 to 1 time for hours after work which her boyfriend would not know about.

But when she’s not nice I call her up on it and she denies being any different which is soooooo frustrating!!!!


To you what seems sketchy?
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Arron2134
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She’s been with him 4-5 years it’s her first and only relationship.

She gets on well with the family and has social circles based around the relationship.

I dunno could she just leave everything behind. She was 16 when she first got with him.
(Original post by Lilligant22)
If she's so unhappy with him then why doesn't she leave him?
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HPV123
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(Original post by Anonymous)
don't settle, if you want her then be honest. but if she doesn't go for it too then walk away because you deserve someone who puts in 100% where you do
rt there bro thats facts
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Lilligant22
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(Original post by Arron2134)
She’s been with him 4-5 years it’s her first and only relationship.

She gets on well with the family and has social circles based around the relationship.

I dunno could she just leave everything behind. She was 16 when she first got with him.
That's great and all, but I really believe it's pointless to be with someone if you're unhappy. It's a waste of both parties' time.
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Arron2134
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What really, really bugs me is that we’ve worked in the same workplace for 3 years for 75% of that time I wouldn’t have even acknowledged her. But in recent months she’s been everything you’d expect from someone showing interest especially on the emotional side of things. This time in recent months has coincided with her unhappiness with her boyfriend. I’m afraid that I’ve been emotionally used or without knowing we’ve been having an emotional affair.

I agree! Totally and maybe I need to wake up and realise I can’t be that good if can’t leave her relationship.
(Original post by Lilligant22)
That's great and all, but I really believe it's pointless to be with someone if you're unhappy. It's a waste of both parties' time.
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SlightlySummer
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Her having a boyf and acting like that with you
(Original post by Arron2134)
There’s a lot more sketchiness!

I’ve told her I like her twice.

She’s continued to be extremely friendly with me.

We spend 1 to 1 time for hours after work which her boyfriend would not know about.

But when she’s not nice I call her up on it and she denies being any different which is soooooo frustrating!!!!


To you what seems sketchy?
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Arron2134
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Yep absolutely.

And she denies any wrongdoing and that it’s what friends do...🙃
(Original post by SlightlySummer)
Her having a boyf and acting like that with you
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SlightlySummer
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Is she like that to all her male friends or just you, I think she likes you.
(Original post by Arron2134)
Yep absolutely.

And she denies any wrongdoing and that it’s what friends do...🙃
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Dunnig Kruger
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Tell her that if she ever leaves her boyfriend, she can move straight into your flat. And that whilst she is with her boyfriend, or any other man, that she will remain a good platonic friend.

For her jealousy about you with other women: ignore it.

For her bad moods towards you: ignore them. She's just a platonic friend.

You do appear to have a chronic case of Oneitis. The remedy for this condition is to start meeting and talking to a lot more women than this one.

If she does leave her boyfriend and move in with you, keep your eyes wide open. If she's already moody with you before she's moved in, she'll be a lot worse once the honeymoon period with you is over.
I don't know the ins and outs of her relationship with her boyfriend. But there is a distinct possibility that her boyfriend is actually a pretty good bloke and that the majority of the issues between them is caused by her. There's also the possibility that he is a complete git.

Reading between the lines I'm getting the impression that she's physically attractive, but somewhat spoilt or self-centred. Am I right?

Whether she leaves her boyfriend or not. There's only so much you can do. All you can do is roll out the red carpet for her and see if she walks up it.
And at the same time roll out your red carpet for every other suitable woman that you meet.
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