Abortion

I don't really have much to contribue to this thread, but there was an interesting programme on BBC2 a few weeks ago that looked at abortions. It followed five (?) women of different ages and told their story. It went into a bit of detail about the process and such. I thought it was quite a good watch

Anon or delete - friends who are unaware of my experience are on this site.

I had an abortion at 7 weeks pregnant. I didn't tell anybody and I sorted it out by myself (which was scary). I was 16 at the time (August 2007).

First of all went to the doctor, this was when I was 5 weeks pregnant. It took me a long time to consider my choices, and when I decided to abort, I was 6 weeks pregnant. I had an appointment at the sexual health clinic, where they did a scan to see how many weeks I was gone, and they also did an STI check as normal procedure and blood tests.

I chose the surgical abortion under general anesthetic. When I arrived at the day surgery unit, they told me to put a gown on etc. To be honest it was all quite intimidating, they left the curtains open, and the women that were having abortions were all in one ward, so everyone could see each other. A couple of girls in the next beds to me got talking to me, they were friends and told me they had both been a few times before to have an abortion. This really upset me, they were almost acting like it was a day out, (laughing all the time etc). This made it even more distressing for me.

Anyway, the nurse then inserts tablets into the vagina that dilate the cervix 2 hours before the op. I was then given the general anesthetic and can remember being taken into the operating room. Next thing I knew I was back on the ward and couldn't remember a thing.

Thats about all that happens, other people might have experienced different as I had the surgical abortion at 7 weeks.

If you have any other questions I don't mind answering =)

Thank you so much to Anon 2 for sharing that with us. Sorry to hear that you had to go through all that though

I have a few questions if you don't mind answering. I don't want you to feel as though im pressuring you or anything of that sort so i apologise in advance if you do. I think that you are so so brave for going through it alone. Did your parents not know about it?

- Did u know that you were pregnant because you had missed a period? And what kind of symptoms were you experiencing by 5-6 weeks?
- When you were at the sexual health clinic, were all the tests done on the same day? And did they organise the abortion for you?
- Did you go home the same day after the surgery?

Hope everything is good for you now

You are brave Thank you for sharing.

What was physical recovery like?

Please keep anon for obvious reasons.

I've had one, at about thirteen weeks gone; my periods were terribly irregular at the time, but the nurses doing the ultrasound pegged me about there. It was entirely my own fault for being lax about contraception, the only time in my life I have ever been so (I have real trouble with hormonal stuff and my ex was terrible with condoms so we were screwed, in all senses of the word). I was 21 and should have known better, but **** happens, and you have to deal with the consquences of your own stupidity.
I have personal moral issues with abortion, and wouldn't recommend the experience to anyone - I'd much rather lose a man who won't sort out contraception or have any number of awkward conversations with a guy than wish it on anyone, although I'd defend to the death a woman's right to a termination, so long as it wasn't a regular method of contraception, if you catch my drift.

Anyway, one course of emergency contraception, three pregancy tests and about six weeks after the deed was done, I could tell I was definitely pregnant (the constant nausea and bloatedness gave it away, I never really needed the tests lol). I told my bloke, who admittedly took it extremely well and not once made me feel like I had to terminate. He came with me for every appointment and for the abortion itself, and was the only bloke in the ward while I was there. I turned up at the Brook clinic in Manchester (who are great, but if you're on the older side of 16-25 they tend to treat you with less urgency), after some dithering - so about 10-11 weeks gone - told them the crack, they wrote an immediate referral to St Mary's Hospital (so there's the first required doctor's signature already), but the earliest appointment was for a couple of weeks' time. I had fun suffering through the morning sickness and tiredness until the appointment.
The hospital appointment basically consisted of a chat with the second doctor to check how they can go about it (I wasn't offered the mifepristone option, the so-called 'abortion pill', because I would be past 12 weeks by the time they could sort the appointment); a surgical termination was in order, and I was offered a choice of local or general anaesthetic. I opted for general, because I'm a coward, and I didn't want to be awake when I basically commited a crime against my own body. At the time I wasn't really honest with myself about my reasoning, but I do kind of wish I'd had the local now, so that I could have been less groggy afterwards, and more present with the experience.
As it turned out, someone had cancelled for a surgical appointment for the very next day, and they offered the slot to me. The doctor was aware I wasn't stupid and had made a concrete, reasoned decision, and was happy with me to have it done so soon after the initial appointment.
They sent me for an ultrasound (icky cold goo on your stomach, run plastic roller over it, nurse checks stuff) to check how far along I was, and I saw the screen - I really wouldn't recommend this if you're faint of heart. It's definitely a human being by thirteen weeks, let's put it like that.

I turned up the next day as arranged, and before they take you in, they sit you down with one of the nurses for a 'counselling session', to talk the waverers out of being hasty and traumatising themselves by making the wrong decision. I can well understand this, but I dread to think how many women had been talked out of it by this particular nurse, who basically spent a full 25 minutes trying to tell me how I was making a very hasty decision, about how I wasn't confronting my feelings about it, and that I hadn't had time to think, as it was so soon after my initial appointment. The only thing that came of the session was my anger at how she dared to patronise a consenting adult of sound mind, who'd had almost three months to think about the decision previously. The whole experience would have been far better if I hadn't had that extra stress inflicted on me unnecessarily. I made a complaint to one of the more senior members of staff about her as well; the staff should be impartial and supportive, not biased.
Next, they give you a pessary to soften your cervix, and jam a cannula into the back of your hand for the anaesthetic (god, I hate cannulae. Needles should not be left in your body for that long!), and get you into one of those lovely hospital gowns. Then they wheel you into the anaesthetic room, where the staff were lovely and chatty, and put you under, which is just a freaky experience - one second you're awake, the next you're not.
And you come round in another room, in lots of pain and bleeding (girls will know what I mean, when you know you're bleeding down there - eww). And they go, 'Oh, you're awake now, how are you feeling?'.
'In pain!', says I, and they gave me painkillers and a cup of water, and wheeled me back to the ward. I jabbered nonsense all the way back about the pretty flowers, and 'my, I just LOVE your bracelet!'; my ex said I was hilarious coming off the anaesthetic, but most of the girls on the ward just looked thoroughly traumatised, there was a lot of crying and mums comforting and the like. Everyone in there was really young as well, it seemed to me. Obviously hospital wards are not the best of places; there were about 12 of us in one room, with just curtains for privacy and the ward was very bare and white and sterile. It looked like something out of a bad dream; thankfully I'm of reasonably stern stuff and can make light of things like that and get myself through it without being overly freaked out.
They basically keep you in there 'til you've eaten and peed and generally look ok, they won't take the cannula out until you've been to the loo, which aggravated me no end as I was ready to go about an hour after I got back to the ward, and they kept me for four, and having this thing in my hand was probably the worst thing about it physically in the hospital. Afterwards it was like having been punched in the stomach a few times with a bad period on top. I went home on the bus, very much relieved, although they recommend that you take a taxi or get a lift. I felt fine after about a week, but went back to work after about three days or so, work were very good about it (and I told them the truth - thankfully I was working in a female-dominated environment, and I was given the time off, no questions asked).

Hints and tips on terminations then:

- don't get pregnant in the first place, if you're not ready for kids. Do not take any kind of gamble with contraception, and THE WITHDRAWAL METHOD DOES NOT WORK. Get implants, get the pill, injections, patches, the coil - you're spoilt for choice with options, so even if you're not with someone now, just get your contraception sorted NOW, so that no accidents happen. It's just not worth it.

- as soon as you have an idea you are pregnant, get down to the local sexual health clinic type place. The reason I recommend this over your GP is because they are much more sympathetic to terminations and will get things moving more quickly for you as a rule. If you can't get to one of these though, the GP is fine, just don't be afraid to see someone else if yours isn't being helpful. You need to move fast.

- tell people, don't keep it to yourself, unless whoever you might need to tell aren't sympathetic. Tell uni, tell work, tell your parents if they're ok to tell (it's good to have as much support as possible), tell the father and get him to help you through it. Chances are he doesn't want a baby right now and will likely be pretty helpful - you need someone to go with you for the actual abortion, and if he's supportive it's best being him. Although if he's just a muppet then get your mum or a close mate.

- get a taxi or a lift home - makes things nicer.

- take heavy duty sanitary towels, baby wipes, a cosy dressing gown and slippers/fluffy socks (you *will* need these on the ward), lots of comforting things like chocolate and fruit juice, lavender essential oil or Rescue Remedy and a book/iPod for while you're waiting around - which there will be a lot of. Take a change of clothes and underwear. As mentioned, take your bloke/best mate/mum - this last part is essential, so they can mop up your tears, make jokes, keep your spirit up and run to get cups of tea or things from the shop, and get you home as well.

- do take advantage of the counselling service the hospital offer - even if it's just one session - if you think you need it.

- be strong - if you're not ready for kids, then you're making the right decision for you. And on the other hand, it's ok to change your mind - everyone will understand - it's not the easiest thing to deal with!

If anyone wants to talk about it, say so on here and I will PM you.

HTH

Please keep anon for obvious reasons.

I've had one, at about thirteen weeks gone; my periods were terribly irregular at the time, but the nurses doing the ultrasound pegged me about there. It was entirely my own fault for being lax about contraception, the only time in my life I have ever been so (I have real trouble with hormonal stuff and my ex was terrible with condoms so we were screwed, in all senses of the word). I was 21 and should have known better, but shi- happens, and you have to deal with the consquences of your own stupidity.
I have personal moral issues with abortion, and wouldn't recommend the experience to anyone - I'd much rather lose a man who won't sort out contraception or have any number of awkward conversations with a guy than wish it on anyone, although I'd defend to the death a woman's right to a termination, so long as it wasn't a regular method of contraception, if you catch my drift.

Anyway, one course of emergency contraception, three pregancy tests and about six weeks after the deed was done, I could tell I was definitely pregnant (the constant nausea and bloatedness gave it away, I never really needed the tests lol). I told my bloke, who admittedly took it extremely well and not once made me feel like I had to terminate. He came with me for every appointment and for the abortion itself, and was the only bloke in the ward while I was there. I turned up at the Brook clinic in Manchester (who are great, but if you're on the older side of 16-25 they tend to treat you with less urgency), after some dithering - so about 10-11 weeks gone - told them the crack, they wrote an immediate referral to St Mary's Hospital (so there's the first required doctor's signature already), but the earliest appointment was for a couple of weeks' time. I had fun suffering through the morning sickness and tiredness until the appointment.
The hospital appointment basically consisted of a chat with the second doctor to check how they can go about it (I wasn't offered the mifepristone option, the so-called 'abortion pill', because I would be past 12 weeks by the time they could sort the appointment); a surgical termination was in order, and I was offered a choice of local or general anaesthetic. I opted for general, because I'm a coward, and I didn't want to be awake when I basically commited a crime against my own body. At the time I wasn't really honest with myself about my reasoning, but I do kind of wish I'd had the local now, so that I could have been less groggy afterwards, and more present with the experience.
As it turned out, someone had cancelled for a surgical appointment for the very next day, and they offered the slot to me. The doctor was aware I wasn't stupid and had made a concrete, reasoned decision, and was happy with me to have it done so soon after the initial appointment.
They sent me for an ultrasound (icky cold goo on your stomach, run plastic roller over it, nurse checks stuff) to check how far along I was, and I saw the screen - I really wouldn't recommend this if you're faint of heart. It's definitely a human being by thirteen weeks, let's put it like that.

I turned up the next day as arranged, and before they take you in, they sit you down with one of the nurses for a 'counselling session', to talk the waverers out of being hasty and traumatising themselves by making the wrong decision. I can well understand this, but I dread to think how many women had been talked out of it by this particular nurse, who basically spent a full 25 minutes trying to tell me how I was making a very hasty decision, about how I wasn't confronting my feelings about it, and that I hadn't had time to think, as it was so soon after my initial appointment. The only thing that came of the session was my anger at how she dared to patronise a consenting adult of sound mind, who'd had almost three months to think about the decision previously. The whole experience would have been far better if I hadn't had that extra stress inflicted on me unnecessarily. I made a complaint to one of the more senior members of staff about her as well; the staff should be impartial and supportive, not biased.
Next, they give you a pessary to soften your cervix, and jam a cannula into the back of your hand for the anaesthetic (god, I hate cannulae. Needles should not be left in your body for that long!), and get you into one of those lovely hospital gowns. Then they wheel you into the anaesthetic room, where the staff were lovely and chatty, and put you under, which is just a freaky experience - one second you're awake, the next you're not.
And you come round in another room, in lots of pain and bleeding (girls will know what I mean, when you know you're bleeding down there - eww). And they go, 'Oh, you're awake now, how are you feeling?'.
'In pain!', says I, and they gave me painkillers and a cup of water, and wheeled me back to the ward. I jabbered nonsense all the way back about the pretty flowers, and 'my, I just LOVE your bracelet!'; my ex said I was hilarious coming off the anaesthetic, but most of the girls on the ward just looked thoroughly traumatised, there was a lot of crying and mums comforting and the like. Everyone in there was really young as well, it seemed to me. Obviously hospital wards are not the best of places; there were about 12 of us in one room, with just curtains for privacy and the ward was very bare and white and sterile. It looked like something out of a bad dream; thankfully I'm of reasonably stern stuff and can make light of things like that and get myself through it without being overly freaked out.
They basically keep you in there 'til you've eaten and peed and generally look ok, they won't take the cannula out until you've been to the loo, which aggravated me no end as I was ready to go about an hour after I got back to the ward, and they kept me for four, and having this thing in my hand was probably the worst thing about it physically in the hospital. Afterwards it was like having been punched in the stomach a few times with a bad period on top. I went home on the bus, very much relieved, although they recommend that you take a taxi or get a lift. I felt fine after about a week, but went back to work after about three days or so, work were very good about it (and I told them the truth - thankfully I was working in a female-dominated environment, and I was given the time off, no questions asked).

Hints and tips on terminations then:

- don't get pregnant in the first place, if you're not ready for kids. Do not take any kind of gamble with contraception, and THE WITHDRAWAL METHOD DOES NOT WORK. Get implants, get the pill, injections, patches, the coil - you're spoilt for choice with options, so even if you're not with someone now, just get your contraception sorted NOW, so that no accidents happen. It's just not worth it.

- as soon as you have an idea you are pregnant, get down to the local sexual health clinic type place. The reason I recommend this over your GP is because they are much more sympathetic to terminations and will get things moving more quickly for you as a rule. If you can't get to one of these though, the GP is fine, just don't be afraid to see someone else if yours isn't being helpful. You need to move fast.

- tell people, don't keep it to yourself, unless whoever you might need to tell aren't sympathetic. Tell uni, tell work, tell your parents if they're ok to tell (it's good to have as much support as possible), tell the father and get him to help you through it. Chances are he doesn't want a baby right now and will likely be pretty helpful - you need someone to go with you for the actual abortion, and if he's supportive it's best being him. Although if he's just a muppet then get your mum or a close mate.

- get a taxi or a lift home - makes things nicer.

- take heavy duty sanitary towels, baby wipes, a cosy dressing gown and slippers/fluffy socks (you *will* need these on the ward), lots of comforting things like chocolate and fruit juice, lavender essential oil or Rescue Remedy and a book/iPod for while you're waiting around - which there will be a lot of. Take a change of clothes and underwear. As mentioned, take your bloke/best mate/mum - this last part is essential, so they can mop up your tears, make jokes, keep your spirit up and run to get cups of tea or things from the shop, and get you home as well.

- do take advantage of the counselling service the hospital offer - even if it's just one session - if you think you need it.

- be strong - if you're not ready for kids, then you're making the right decision for you. And on the other hand, it's ok to change your mind - everyone will understand - it's not the easiest thing to deal with!

If anyone wants to talk about it, say so on here and I will PM you.

HTH

Oh, they didn't let me see it, I saw it when the nurse left the room for a minute - I looked deliberately. They don't normally let you see it, as I found out talking to one the the nurses later on. I really wouldn't recommend it to be honest, it's enough to make you change your mind .... And what a ****, that's shocking. Honestly, men sometimes *hugs* I hope you're ok now though, it's bad enough without other people's negative reactions!

Thanks =)
Yeah I'm okay now, seeing people with baby's is really, really difficult though!