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Feel envious of my friends' lives
Please keep anon as people I know might come on here..
Im a 19 yr old girl. I dont know if anyone else feels like this, but recently I've started feeling really envious of my friends and a few other people in general. I dont have a bad life overall but sometimes I feel sad that I dont have things that other people do.
For example, I have a mentally disabled brother. Hes 16 but has a mental age of about 7, and he has really bad behaviour issues so living with him is very stressful. Hes unpredictable, violent, loud and often self harms over the slightest thing. I do love and support him but sometimes I feel like I've missed out on having a normal sibling relationship - as horrible as that sounds. My friend has a twin sister and they get on really well, so when shes home from uni she always has someone to go out with. When I look at photos on facebook I see them out clubbing together or going out for meals and i feel a bit envious of that. Most of my friends also have siblings they go out with. I dont have many friends at home so as a result I'm often quite lonely.
My friends seem to have better family lives than me. My mum suffers from severe depression and is under alot of stress from my brother. She doesnt bother with herself at all and I find it so sad. She used to be outgoing and very pretty when she was young, but now she looks a lot older than she is coz she doesnt bother styling her hair or putting on makeup. She has hardly any friends and just spends most of her time locked in the house watching tv and looking after my brother. I dont often see my dad because he works all day. It just seems like my friends do fun things with their familes - ie going out, celebrating birthdays etc but we do none of that. We are just stuck in a rut.
This summer I wanted to get a job to get out of the house and earn some money but Im getting nowhere. I've applied to at least 7 temp agencies and handed out CVs, followed them up but I just get fobbed off all the time. Its so exhausting. And then my friends get summer jobs in 2 seconds coz most of their parents work in offices/shops and get them employment. I feel like Im on my own, as none of my relatives will help me
I hate the way I compare myself to my friends all the time but I cant stop it. It really highlights how different my life is and I'm really unhappy at the moment. Does anyone else ever feel envious of other people? (or can relate to my situation?)
Im a 19 yr old girl. I dont know if anyone else feels like this, but recently I've started feeling really envious of my friends and a few other people in general. I dont have a bad life overall but sometimes I feel sad that I dont have things that other people do.
For example, I have a mentally disabled brother. Hes 16 but has a mental age of about 7, and he has really bad behaviour issues so living with him is very stressful. Hes unpredictable, violent, loud and often self harms over the slightest thing. I do love and support him but sometimes I feel like I've missed out on having a normal sibling relationship - as horrible as that sounds. My friend has a twin sister and they get on really well, so when shes home from uni she always has someone to go out with. When I look at photos on facebook I see them out clubbing together or going out for meals and i feel a bit envious of that. Most of my friends also have siblings they go out with. I dont have many friends at home so as a result I'm often quite lonely.
My friends seem to have better family lives than me. My mum suffers from severe depression and is under alot of stress from my brother. She doesnt bother with herself at all and I find it so sad. She used to be outgoing and very pretty when she was young, but now she looks a lot older than she is coz she doesnt bother styling her hair or putting on makeup. She has hardly any friends and just spends most of her time locked in the house watching tv and looking after my brother. I dont often see my dad because he works all day. It just seems like my friends do fun things with their familes - ie going out, celebrating birthdays etc but we do none of that. We are just stuck in a rut.
This summer I wanted to get a job to get out of the house and earn some money but Im getting nowhere. I've applied to at least 7 temp agencies and handed out CVs, followed them up but I just get fobbed off all the time. Its so exhausting. And then my friends get summer jobs in 2 seconds coz most of their parents work in offices/shops and get them employment. I feel like Im on my own, as none of my relatives will help me
I hate the way I compare myself to my friends all the time but I cant stop it. It really highlights how different my life is and I'm really unhappy at the moment. Does anyone else ever feel envious of other people? (or can relate to my situation?)
You're not the only one.
People move on though. When you're at uni, and when you've graduated and don't live at home anymore, you really leave your old family life behind. And whether your parents took you out for family meals or to the park when you were a child doesn't really make much difference.
I dont think analysing it and trying to figure it all out will help. Some things just arent fair, and they dont have to be anyone's fault. But it shouldnt change who you are or will be much if you dont let it.
I'd be more worried about your mum than anything. Encourage her to get a job or do a course and arrange alternative care for your brother. She needs to live her own life too and in the long run, she isn't helping him by being around your brother 24/7. What's your brother doing? Is he at school? If he isnt, he should be.
People move on though. When you're at uni, and when you've graduated and don't live at home anymore, you really leave your old family life behind. And whether your parents took you out for family meals or to the park when you were a child doesn't really make much difference.
I dont think analysing it and trying to figure it all out will help. Some things just arent fair, and they dont have to be anyone's fault. But it shouldnt change who you are or will be much if you dont let it.
I'd be more worried about your mum than anything. Encourage her to get a job or do a course and arrange alternative care for your brother. She needs to live her own life too and in the long run, she isn't helping him by being around your brother 24/7. What's your brother doing? Is he at school? If he isnt, he should be.
I can 100% relate to your situation.
My dad is unemployed, has heart conditions and lives in France, so I never see him.
My mother has cancer, and is currently in hospice, with everyone hovering over her waiting for her to die, basically.
I have two little sisters who get treated like angels, but me and my brother get chucked out of the house at age 17 in the middle of the school year.
I used to feel like absolute **** 'cause my mum chucked me out of the house for no reason, I didn't have that many friends, I didn't like my body etc...
But, I think eventually, you get to a point where it's much better. I'm actually quite glad my mum chucked me out now, 'cause it's shown me the kind of person I am. I had to stay with a friend who I always used to envy, and we got along really well and I saw really clearly her family situation and stuff, and saw that there was not that much to envy after all. I now have a boyfriend, which is by no means the be all and end all, but it does show you that you can be attractive while you feel at your most ****, so of course you're attractive all the time kinda thing. And, even after all that I still went to hospice to see my mum, I was quite proud of having been able to put everything behind me while my brother is still stubborn, and my grades are going well.
Basically, what I'm trying to say in a very round about manner is - love yourself, 'cause you don't know how much you've got going for you or how much more worse off you could be.
Hope I helped!
My dad is unemployed, has heart conditions and lives in France, so I never see him.
My mother has cancer, and is currently in hospice, with everyone hovering over her waiting for her to die, basically.
I have two little sisters who get treated like angels, but me and my brother get chucked out of the house at age 17 in the middle of the school year.
I used to feel like absolute **** 'cause my mum chucked me out of the house for no reason, I didn't have that many friends, I didn't like my body etc...
But, I think eventually, you get to a point where it's much better. I'm actually quite glad my mum chucked me out now, 'cause it's shown me the kind of person I am. I had to stay with a friend who I always used to envy, and we got along really well and I saw really clearly her family situation and stuff, and saw that there was not that much to envy after all. I now have a boyfriend, which is by no means the be all and end all, but it does show you that you can be attractive while you feel at your most ****, so of course you're attractive all the time kinda thing. And, even after all that I still went to hospice to see my mum, I was quite proud of having been able to put everything behind me while my brother is still stubborn, and my grades are going well.
Basically, what I'm trying to say in a very round about manner is - love yourself, 'cause you don't know how much you've got going for you or how much more worse off you could be.
Hope I helped!
Not everyone has a great relationship with their siblings. While most people love them it is actually quite rare for them to be someone that you go out with socially. My brothers are great but they are too young for me to spend time with them with my friends. I would imagine that unless siblings are very close in age they probably do't go out together much (or they do different activities, I might take my 11yr old brother out to watch a film and then get pizza but it is very different from going out with my friends).
If you don't feel like you spend enough time with your family then maybe you could ask that you do something together. You could go somewhere that you'd all enjoy like the beach or the zoo. If going out is too stressful then you could always arrange an evening watching a DVD (something like shrek usually works in our house cos everyoe likes it) and get a takeaway so you spend time together without it being too difficultif your brother gets upset or your mum doesn't want to go out.
If you want to make friends at home then joinig a charity might be a good idea as it will improve your CV, allow you to meet new people and give you something interesting to do.
Most people's parents can't actually get them a job (although they may know when there are vacancies). In fact I wasn't able to get the job I wanted this summer because my dad was in charge of recruitment and he didn't think it would be appropriate. Keep applying you should find somewhere eventually, try supermarkets and fast food restuarants as they have a high staff turnover or seasonal places (like theme parks, zoos, anywhere outdoors/tourist attractions because they take on a lot of temporary staff over the summer).
Also don't compare your life to other people's, I'm sure you have good things that they don't.
Good luck xxxx
If you don't feel like you spend enough time with your family then maybe you could ask that you do something together. You could go somewhere that you'd all enjoy like the beach or the zoo. If going out is too stressful then you could always arrange an evening watching a DVD (something like shrek usually works in our house cos everyoe likes it) and get a takeaway so you spend time together without it being too difficultif your brother gets upset or your mum doesn't want to go out.
If you want to make friends at home then joinig a charity might be a good idea as it will improve your CV, allow you to meet new people and give you something interesting to do.
Most people's parents can't actually get them a job (although they may know when there are vacancies). In fact I wasn't able to get the job I wanted this summer because my dad was in charge of recruitment and he didn't think it would be appropriate. Keep applying you should find somewhere eventually, try supermarkets and fast food restuarants as they have a high staff turnover or seasonal places (like theme parks, zoos, anywhere outdoors/tourist attractions because they take on a lot of temporary staff over the summer).
Also don't compare your life to other people's, I'm sure you have good things that they don't.
Good luck xxxx
Anonymous
Please keep anon as people I know might come on here..
Im a 19 yr old girl. I dont know if anyone else feels like this, but recently I've started feeling really envious of my friends and a few other people in general. I dont have a bad life overall but sometimes I feel sad that I dont have things that other people do.
For example, I have a mentally disabled brother. Hes 16 but has a mental age of about 7, and he has really bad behaviour issues so living with him is very stressful. Hes unpredictable, violent, loud and often self harms over the slightest thing. I do love and support him but sometimes I feel like I've missed out on having a normal sibling relationship - as horrible as that sounds. My friend has a twin sister and they get on really well, so when shes home from uni she always has someone to go out with. When I look at photos on facebook I see them out clubbing together or going out for meals and i feel a bit envious of that. Most of my friends also have siblings they go out with. I dont have many friends at home so as a result I'm often quite lonely.
My friends seem to have better family lives than me. My mum suffers from severe depression and is under alot of stress from my brother. She doesnt bother with herself at all and I find it so sad. She used to be outgoing and very pretty when she was young, but now she looks a lot older than she is coz she doesnt bother styling her hair or putting on makeup. She has hardly any friends and just spends most of her time locked in the house watching tv and looking after my brother. I dont often see my dad because he works all day. It just seems like my friends do fun things with their familes - ie going out, celebrating birthdays etc but we do none of that. We are just stuck in a rut.
This summer I wanted to get a job to get out of the house and earn some money but Im getting nowhere. I've applied to at least 7 temp agencies and handed out CVs, followed them up but I just get fobbed off all the time. Its so exhausting. And then my friends get summer jobs in 2 seconds coz most of their parents work in offices/shops and get them employment. I feel like Im on my own, as none of my relatives will help me
I hate the way I compare myself to my friends all the time but I cant stop it. It really highlights how different my life is and I'm really unhappy at the moment. Does anyone else ever feel envious of other people? (or can relate to my situation?)
Im a 19 yr old girl. I dont know if anyone else feels like this, but recently I've started feeling really envious of my friends and a few other people in general. I dont have a bad life overall but sometimes I feel sad that I dont have things that other people do.
For example, I have a mentally disabled brother. Hes 16 but has a mental age of about 7, and he has really bad behaviour issues so living with him is very stressful. Hes unpredictable, violent, loud and often self harms over the slightest thing. I do love and support him but sometimes I feel like I've missed out on having a normal sibling relationship - as horrible as that sounds. My friend has a twin sister and they get on really well, so when shes home from uni she always has someone to go out with. When I look at photos on facebook I see them out clubbing together or going out for meals and i feel a bit envious of that. Most of my friends also have siblings they go out with. I dont have many friends at home so as a result I'm often quite lonely.
My friends seem to have better family lives than me. My mum suffers from severe depression and is under alot of stress from my brother. She doesnt bother with herself at all and I find it so sad. She used to be outgoing and very pretty when she was young, but now she looks a lot older than she is coz she doesnt bother styling her hair or putting on makeup. She has hardly any friends and just spends most of her time locked in the house watching tv and looking after my brother. I dont often see my dad because he works all day. It just seems like my friends do fun things with their familes - ie going out, celebrating birthdays etc but we do none of that. We are just stuck in a rut.
This summer I wanted to get a job to get out of the house and earn some money but Im getting nowhere. I've applied to at least 7 temp agencies and handed out CVs, followed them up but I just get fobbed off all the time. Its so exhausting. And then my friends get summer jobs in 2 seconds coz most of their parents work in offices/shops and get them employment. I feel like Im on my own, as none of my relatives will help me
I hate the way I compare myself to my friends all the time but I cant stop it. It really highlights how different my life is and I'm really unhappy at the moment. Does anyone else ever feel envious of other people? (or can relate to my situation?)
That there is my life, I think you're my long lost twin!
My mum suffers from severe depression and I have a disabled sister.
I know how you feel, yep I feel extremely jealous and envious of my friends and they're normal lives. Yet, they still seem to complain about everything, hmm. They have they're siblings to lean on whereas for me, I've never had a mother figure nor a sibling relationship.
Unfortunately, I can't offer any advice at the moment, but know that you're not alone!
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