i think my mums a little crazy Watch

lissielikescake
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actually though, i’m concerned for her health.

i just woke up 20 minutes to my mum screaming her lungs. not even a causal scream (if that’s a thing haha) but the one you hear in horror films (terrifying)

my sister got in our house drunk (not a surprise on her part) and has vomited all over our house. it got to the point me waking up in shock thinking there is some sort of murder going on.
i’ve never seen her like this but as i’ve got older her behaviour has got stranger. i’m not saying getting annoyed at your kids is taboo, definitely isn’t and she has every right. but i just feel like it isn’t normal? it was too... ridiculous idk ?

it was the most upset i’ve ever seen her, and it’s 2.08am...

for context, we’re going to a funeral tomorrow. it’s my dads nephews funeral and we’re travelling over 3 hours. ( i say we’re but i can’t go to this funeral because of exams i have later today)

i don’t like saying that about my own mother but it’s very clear she isn’t very happy. she just doesn’t ever feel happy. so can someone help me out and ask what i can do for her?
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keptinside
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Maybe get close to her and try to figure out what she enjoys doing.
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Skittleskitty
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I saw this thread and had to click on it because I used to think that...
(Original post by lissielikescake)
actually though, i’m concerned for her health.

i just woke up 20 minutes to my mum screaming her lungs. not even a causal scream (if that’s a thing haha) but the one you hear in horror films (terrifying)

my sister got in our house drunk (not a surprise on her part) and has vomited all over our house. it got to the point me waking up in shock thinking there is some sort of murder going on.
i’ve never seen her like this but as i’ve got older her behaviour has got stranger. i’m not saying getting annoyed at your kids is taboo, definitely isn’t and she has every right. but i just feel like it isn’t normal? it was too... ridiculous idk ?

it was the most upset i’ve ever seen her, and it’s 2.08am...

for context, we’re going to a funeral tomorrow. it’s my dads nephews funeral and we’re travelling over 3 hours. ( i say we’re but i can’t go to this funeral because of exams i have later today)

i don’t like saying that about my own mother but it’s very clear she isn’t very happy. she just doesn’t ever feel happy. so can someone help me out and ask what i can do for her?
My mum has an extreme version of OCD (which I won't be able to describe in a single post but let me know if yall want more info) which is diagnosed by doctors.
Spoiler:
Show
Promise its not like those kid who say they have OCD because they have to wear the same socks :awesome:

she got it in the last few months of pregnancy with my sister (8 years now) and it's only ever been getting worse. When something dirty (in her eyes) touches something 'clean' she tends to scream and shout maybe even excessivwly cry depending on how severe and how much of the clean stuff was made 'dirty'

We have loads of restrictions on us slowly as time goes by and at the start I used to get quite pissed quickly and just didnt like listening to what she told me to do,but I realised over time that she has a lot on her mind and vents on us because SHE KNOWS she can.

So I realised being quiet and not responding when she reacts in this way or even giving advice and offering to help really tones down the situation. Idk if I went on a tangent and if it's even relevant but I hope it did help somehow xx
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Dunnig Kruger
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" so can someone help me out and ask what i can do for her?"

That is a great question on your part. Mainly because you're being proactive and are showing that you care and are looking to do what you can.

For the next 3 weeks, the best thing you can do is study as hard as you can, use perfect exam technique (not spending too long on one question etc) and get the very best grades you can in your exams.

And on the day of your final exam, buy her a small basket of flowers as a thank-you for her support in your exams and studying to date. A lot of which will have been indirect but important support such as making sure you've been well fed.
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Skittleskitty
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Best way to cool he off :clap2: well done dude
(Original post by Dunnig Kruger)
" so can someone help me out and ask what i can do for her?"

That is a great question on your part. Mainly because you're being proactive and are showing that you care and are looking to do what you can.

For the next 3 weeks, the best thing you can do is study as hard as you can, use perfect exam technique (not spending too long on one question etc) and get the very best grades you can in your exams.

And on the day of your final exam, buy her a small basket of flowers as a thank-you for her support in your exams and studying to date. A lot of which will have been indirect but important support such as making sure you've been well fed.
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lissielikescake
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my mum is one of the craziest people in the world! in a good way! me and my mum are so weird together and that’s one of the things i love about her! maybe i should of worded the title better, i guess i was just in my element and it was the best word when that event was still fresh.
of course she has every right to be angry! i never said she wasn’t allowed to be and i agreed with her reasoning, i was just concerned over her reaction, it was absolutely crazy, and i’m not just being dramatic.
my sister has done worse things and it’s never been this crazy.
i’m extremely close to my mother and seeing her like this really upset me, but i think it would be hard for anyone who saw their parent like this.
recently she has become more stressed (depressed even?) and i was wondering if this was a product of it.
(Original post by ah18212)
To be honest, you literally gave the most legitimate reason for her to get angry. Drunk in the middle of night coming home and vomiting everywhere... My parents would do worse than just shout at me loudly.
And does it matter if she's a bit crazy? No ones perfect, I think us children don't appreciate what parents do for us enough, we can make their lives so easy but we trouble them so much. I was just thinking the other day how if your parents call you from downstairs, the logical thing to do would be to go downstairs and see what's going on, but most people shout back and wait for a response and if you think about it, that is extremely disrespectful and impolite.
Especially to your mum
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lissielikescake
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thank you! as i said in the post before, i’m not sure if i worded the question right. i love my mum and i only want to do what’s best and help her, not the other way around. the info you put is really useful, and puts others in perspective, thanks again.
(Original post by Skittleskitty)
I saw this thread and had to click on it because I used to think that...

My mum has an extreme version of OCD (which I won't be able to describe in a single post but let me know if yall want more info) which is diagnosed by doctors.
Spoiler:
Show
Promise its not like those kid who say they have OCD because they have to wear the same socks :awesome:

she got it in the last few months of pregnancy with my sister (8 years now) and it's only ever been getting worse. When something dirty (in her eyes) touches something 'clean' she tends to scream and shout maybe even excessivwly cry depending on how severe and how much of the clean stuff was made 'dirty'

We have loads of restrictions on us slowly as time goes by and at the start I used to get quite pissed quickly and just didnt like listening to what she told me to do,but I realised over time that she has a lot on her mind and vents on us because SHE KNOWS she can.

So I realised being quiet and not responding when she reacts in this way or even giving advice and offering to help really tones down the situation. Idk if I went on a tangent and if it's even relevant but I hope it did help somehow xx
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lissielikescake
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thank you a lot! this is really useful and i will do what i can
(Original post by Dunnig Kruger)
" so can someone help me out and ask what i can do for her?"

That is a great question on your part. Mainly because you're being proactive and are showing that you care and are looking to do what you can.

For the next 3 weeks, the best thing you can do is study as hard as you can, use perfect exam technique (not spending too long on one question etc) and get the very best grades you can in your exams.

And on the day of your final exam, buy her a small basket of flowers as a thank-you for her support in your exams and studying to date. A lot of which will have been indirect but important support such as making sure you've been well fed.
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Coolkitkat23
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go talk to her, but dont tell her how you feel, until she feels a bit better to talk about it, and tbh its your sisters fault, your mom probably shouted because your sister mightve gotten alcohol poisoning... My mom does the same, but its only because i dont help her clean the house enough, and when i accidently drop something, she will go insane.
(Original post by lissielikescake)
actually though, i’m concerned for her health.

i just woke up 20 minutes to my mum screaming her lungs. not even a causal scream (if that’s a thing haha) but the one you hear in horror films (terrifying)

my sister got in our house drunk (not a surprise on her part) and has vomited all over our house. it got to the point me waking up in shock thinking there is some sort of murder going on.
i’ve never seen her like this but as i’ve got older her behaviour has got stranger. i’m not saying getting annoyed at your kids is taboo, definitely isn’t and she has every right. but i just feel like it isn’t normal? it was too... ridiculous idk ?

it was the most upset i’ve ever seen her, and it’s 2.08am...

for context, we’re going to a funeral tomorrow. it’s my dads nephews funeral and we’re travelling over 3 hours. ( i say we’re but i can’t go to this funeral because of exams i have later today)

i don’t like saying that about my own mother but it’s very clear she isn’t very happy. she just doesn’t ever feel happy. so can someone help me out and ask what i can do for her?
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DrSocSciences
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(Original post by Dunnig Kruger)
For the next 3 weeks, the best thing you can do is study as hard as you can, use perfect exam technique (not spending too long on one question etc) and get the very best grades you can in your exams.

And on the day of your final exam, buy her a small basket of flowers as a thank-you for her support in your exams and studying to date. A lot of which will have been indirect but important support such as making sure you've been well fed.
As a mum, I prefer empathy and consistent consideration rather than transactional gestures. I spat my coffee out at the ‘well fed’ comment. We give you lot whole decades of our lives.
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Anonymousgirl20
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It’s a normal thing when I’ve come in drink and ridiculous early hours in the morning my parents have been pissed off with me to it’s the same with my friends when they have gone home in a drunken state there parents have been made with them to. It’s normal. Your mum probably has a lot on her mind at the moment an obviously all parents worry about their kids they may not always show it but they are so your mum knew your sister was out obviously she was worried like any parent would be and then when she come home like that it’s understandable for her to lose it. It’s normal most parents are like it
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sinfonietta
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Your mother's reaction isn't abnormal. I'd have done much worse than just screamed in her position!
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harrysbar
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(Original post by lissielikescake)
i don’t like saying that about my own mother but it’s very clear she isn’t very happy. she just doesn’t ever feel happy. so can someone help me out and ask what i can do for her?
Offer to clean up some of the vomit/vomit stains while she is at the funeral and I guarantee that she will magically become happier
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Diceman11
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(Original post by DrSocSciences)
As a mum, I prefer empathy and consistent consideration rather than transactional gestures. I spat my coffee out at the ‘well fed’ comment. We give you lot whole decades of our lives.
Mum!! What are you doing sitting around drinking coffee? You've got my shirts to iron!
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Revision Boiii
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Isn’t that a typical mum? To be fair I would be annoyed too if my kids come in early in the morning and vomit on my floor. Also she might be already upset because of the funeral and then she got more annoyed?
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Skittleskitty
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<3 Glad I was made useful xxx
(Original post by lissielikescake)
thank you! as i said in the post before, i’m not sure if i worded the question right. i love my mum and i only want to do what’s best and help her, not the other way around. the info you put is really useful, and puts others in perspective, thanks again.
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leopard202
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I have experienced this before so I think I might understand.

My mum used to exhibit similar strange behaviour, she was going through a bout of terrible depression and stress, and sometimes this came out in 'deranged' ways, she would just wail and walk around the house wailing, attack me (not abusing or hurting me much) but snarl and grab my face suddenly saying threats she could not hold back. She'd get random fits of giggles and do weird things like dress up all my dolls and stick them to my ceiling. Then hide behind stuff and jump out and think it was hilarious. Even if we were shouting at her to go away. She was like a child sometimes

She's not crazy actually, but an amazing and calm woman now. But going through a terrible phase for women, who are emotionally complex by nature, especially if they are strong people and have responsibilities as mums, careers etc. it can come out in strange ways when they try to suppress it, exhibiting symptoms of other mental health illnesses. i had another friend whose mum would cry and scream and make noises of a wild animal at night walking around the house. My friend got really scared, but her mum had been a widow for years, ran a successful company, had a rebellious daughter and just had enough of nobody being grateful or loving.

Sounds like your mum might be dealing with a lot in herself, and external things like her kids making her stressed might be the last straw sometimes. I know a couple who were extremely sensitive around sleep time, waking them up from it you see a different side. They either cannot sleep at all or will oversleep and have strange dreams. Anxiety can also make any surprise wake-ups a trigger to reveal a mountain of random emotion. Who knows what was going through her head when she was screaming like that. A funeral in the background will just further bring an atmosphere of darkness and sadness.


What does your dad think? Have you mentioned it to her?

I think you should approach her sensitively, ask if she's upset about the funeral for example, try and get her to open up. She will need people to show they care, i have learned to have nice talks with my mum almost weekly, where she will just tell me if a friend has upset her, she's having strange dreams, thinking about her future and responsibilities etc. This is years after she used to have those crazy fits. I wish i showed my concern earlier.

Your mum is probably not psychotic or seriously mentally ill or else you would have noticed more drastic things ages ago, if it seems to be getting worse/new symptoms then it's likely something manageable that's just reaching a peak. Women have always generally gotten stigma for hysterical behaviour etc, but this just comes from being consumed by emotion. mums can feel like everything rests on their shoulders. if you're not a big talker or not got a good relationship to talk to her, tell your dad and sis you could all try and offload some of her errands or chores just so she doesn't feel overwhelmed by other stuff.
(Original post by lissielikescake)
actually though, i’m concerned for her health.

i just woke up 20 minutes to my mum screaming her lungs. not even a causal scream (if that’s a thing haha) but the one you hear in horror films (terrifying)

my sister got in our house drunk (not a surprise on her part) and has vomited all over our house. it got to the point me waking up in shock thinking there is some sort of murder going on.
i’ve never seen her like this but as i’ve got older her behaviour has got stranger. i’m not saying getting annoyed at your kids is taboo, definitely isn’t and she has every right. but i just feel like it isn’t normal? it was too... ridiculous idk ?

it was the most upset i’ve ever seen her, and it’s 2.08am...

for context, we’re going to a funeral tomorrow. it’s my dads nephews funeral and we’re travelling over 3 hours. ( i say we’re but i can’t go to this funeral because of exams i have later today)

i don’t like saying that about my own mother but it’s very clear she isn’t very happy. she just doesn’t ever feel happy. so can someone help me out and ask what i can do for her?
Last edited by leopard202; 3 weeks ago
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Christycurrn
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shes just bantering boo
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lissielikescake
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thank you!! your comment is really useful!
the thing is with my mum, she has gotten worse over the years. at first yes, like many commenting are saying, i thought this is just mum behaviour. but honestly it’s got worse

i have talked about it with my sister, not my dad though! (my dad and me have been distant lately but that’s a different story) my sister is the one who often my mum gets mad at (ngl not on my sisters side for most on the arguments because she isn’t exactly reasonable)
my mum has a lot on her plate as well which i didn’t go into detail here, but for reasons that i thought were irrelevant but to look at it i don’t think they are now.
my mother has been the main career for my elderly grandmother for as long as i can remember. she does everything you name it. her job isn’t a nice one either, she deals with sick and down right horrible people. i feel bad failing to truly see it from her pov.

like you said, she isn’t crazy. (sorry to my bad wording for the title not at all what i meant)

i think like you said, i need to be there for her most when she is down, and make sure she vents all her worries
i guess all you need sometimes is someone to listen not necessarily advice.
thank you again for your experiences! it helped me to look at it with how other mums and kids had dealt with it and made me realise she’s probably going through a peak and will be fine soon.
(Original post by leopard202)
I have experienced this before so I think I might understand.

My mum used to exhibit similar strange behaviour, she was going through a bout of terrible depression and stress, and sometimes this came out in 'deranged' ways, she would just wail and walk around the house wailing, attack me (not abusing or hurting me much) but snarl and grab my face suddenly saying threats she could not hold back. She'd get random fits of giggles and do weird things like dress up all my dolls and stick them to my ceiling. Then hide behind stuff and jump out and think it was hilarious. Even if we were shouting at her to go away. She was like a child sometimes

She's not crazy actually, but an amazing and calm woman now. But going through a terrible phase for women, who are emotionally complex by nature, especially if they are strong people and have responsibilities as mums, careers etc. it can come out in strange ways when they try to suppress it, exhibiting symptoms of other mental health illnesses. i had another friend whose mum would cry and scream and make noises of a wild animal at night walking around the house. My friend got really scared, but her mum had been a widow for years, ran a successful company, had a rebellious daughter and just had enough of nobody being grateful or loving.

Sounds like your mum might be dealing with a lot in herself, and external things like her kids making her stressed might be the last straw sometimes. I know a couple who were extremely sensitive around sleep time, waking them up from it you see a different side. They either cannot sleep at all or will oversleep and have strange dreams. Anxiety can also make any surprise wake-ups a trigger to reveal a mountain of random emotion. Who knows what was going through her head when she was screaming like that. A funeral in the background will just further bring an atmosphere of darkness and sadness.


What does your dad think? Have you mentioned it to her?

I think you should approach her sensitively, ask if she's upset about the funeral for example, try and get her to open up. She will need people to show they care, i have learned to have nice talks with my mum almost weekly, where she will just tell me if a friend has upset her, she's having strange dreams, thinking about her future and responsibilities etc. This is years after she used to have those crazy fits. I wish i showed my concern earlier.

Your mum is probably not psychotic or seriously mentally ill or else you would have noticed more drastic things ages ago, if it seems to be getting worse/new symptoms then it's likely something manageable that's just reaching a peak. Women have always generally gotten stigma for hysterical behaviour etc, but this just comes from being consumed by emotion. mums can feel like everything rests on their shoulders. if you're not a big talker or not got a good relationship to talk to her, tell your dad and sis you could all try and offload some of her errands or chores just so she doesn't feel overwhelmed by other stuff.
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leopard202
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Weird this is so similar to my mum's position, she also cares for her sick grandmother, it's one of her main strains actually. She puts in a lot of effort out of obligation & guilt, spends so much time, grandma not grateful at all and even nasty to her if she doesn't have time for one day! So i'm sure for your mum this is high priority, for example look how occupied in thought you are about ur own mum. Dealing with sick people can also have a depressive psychological effect, making you think often of illness, suffering, even death.

Same my dad is distant so he hasn't been helpful, not just distant but emotionally very reserved and doesn't know how to show care. He just runs the errands or hires people to help, but incapable of emotional support. Maybe this is something you can team up with dad for? If youre not close then maybe if he loves her will communicate with you for her sake. I can understand the sister thing, sounds like yours is going through her own things, as most young people are and naturally oblivious to what parents might be going through. a lot of take yeeaars of growing up to actually see it. So it's admirable you can now!

You are probs going through your own stuff too. Look more closely at your mum's habits, behaviours or other symptoms (obsessions?) she might have, researching them to see if there is a similar set of symptoms that could suggest ways to deal with it. Maybe it's a type of mid life crisis? My dad is going through that now and the main advice is always to show acceptance, patience and kindness while they learn how to deal with it..
(Original post by lissielikescake)
thank you!! your comment is really useful!
the thing is with my mum, she has gotten worse over the years. at first yes, like many commenting are saying, i thought this is just mum behaviour. but honestly it’s got worse

i have talked about it with my sister, not my dad though! (my dad and me have been distant lately but that’s a different story) my sister is the one who often my mum gets mad at (ngl not on my sisters side for most on the arguments because she isn’t exactly reasonable)
my mum has a lot on her plate as well which i didn’t go into detail here, but for reasons that i thought were irrelevant but to look at it i don’t think they are now.
my mother has been the main career for my elderly grandmother for as long as i can remember. she does everything you name it. her job isn’t a nice one either, she deals with sick and down right horrible people. i feel bad failing to truly see it from her pov.

like you said, she isn’t crazy. (sorry to my bad wording for the title not at all what i meant)

i think like you said, i need to be there for her most when she is down, and make sure she vents all her worries
i guess all you need sometimes is someone to listen not necessarily advice.
thank you again for your experiences! it helped me to look at it with how other mums and kids had dealt with it and made me realise she’s probably going through a peak and will be fine soon.
Last edited by leopard202; 3 weeks ago
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