boyfriend makes me feel ugly Watch

sadgal1
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me and my boyfriend have been together for two years. these feelings of ugliness and unworthiness started when he would make rude remarks about my cousins (my very attractive cousins) telling me what he would like to do with them in a sexual way. he would do this on multiple occasions and it hurt me because i have always felt inferior to them as they are basically super models. i told him this and he has since stopped but it really had an impact on my self esteem. though he doesnt make comments about my family members anymore, he still feels the need to make remarks poking fun at my appearance and it is really starting to get to me. he claims its all fun but he doesnt realise they are hurtful and are impacting me negatively. the other day he was bragging to me about how much better looking he is than me and how i shouldnt worry because i am ‘pretty on the inside’. he tends to compliment his female friends alot more than he does me and i fear this is turning me into someone i dont want to be - an insecure jealous mess. am i being irrational in thinking this way? what should i do?
Last edited by sadgal1; 4 weeks ago
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999tigger
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(Original post by sadgal1)
me and my boyfriend have been together for two years. these feelings of ugliness and unworthiness started when he would make rude remarks about my cousins (my very attractive cousins) telling me what he would like to do with them in a sexual way. he would do this on multiple occasions and it hurt me because i have always felt inferior to them as they are basically super models. i told him this and he has since stopped but it really had an impact on my self esteem. though he doesnt make comments about my family members anymore, he still feels the need to make remarks poking fun at my appearance and it is really starting to get to me. he claims its all fun but he doesnt realise they are hurtful and are impacting me negatively. the other day he was bragging to me about how much better looking he is than me and how i shouldnt worry because i am ‘pretty on the inside’. he tends to compliment his female friends alot more than he does me and i fear this is turning me into someone i dont want to be - an insecure jealous mess. am i being irrational in thinking this way? what should i do?
He sounds like a jerk.

Undermining you rather than supporting.

You need to work on your self esteem which is way more important than him.
Honestly youd be happier on your own, but with more confidence in yourself.
he is never going to help you get there because he appears to lack any emotional intelligence or awareness about what he needs to do to make you happy. Ask him to stop, explain why and if he ignore then tell him where to go.
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YaliaV
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Why are you still with him? It seems like a possible form of emotional abuse/controlling behaviour because it’s a pattern. He’s putting you down constantly to gain the upper hand and make you feel worthless without him. The ‘pretty on the inside’ comment is disgusting. You shouldn’t allow anyone to treat you like crap.

You should think about changing your username as well. You can be happy. Work on your self-esteem and do things that make you feel good.
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sadgal1
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thank you for this, i guess im just scared to leave him because we have a lot of history. i will consider changing my username if it ever becomes untrue haha thank you again!
(Original post by YaliaV)
Why are you still with him? It seems like a possible form of emotional abuse/controlling behaviour because it’s a pattern. He’s putting you down constantly to gain the upper hand and make you feel worthless without him. The ‘pretty on the inside’ comment is disgusting. You shouldn’t allow anyone to treat you like crap.

You should think about changing your username as well. You can be happy. Work on your self-esteem and do things that make you feel good.
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sadgal1
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i will attempt to have one more conversation with him and if nothing changes i’ll leave because i cant keep doing this to myself. thank you for this reply
(Original post by 999tigger)
He sounds like a jerk.

Undermining you rather than supporting.

You need to work on your self esteem which is way more important than him.
Honestly youd be happier on your own, but with more confidence in yourself.
he is never going to help you get there because he appears to lack any emotional intelligence or awareness about what he needs to do to make you happy. Ask him to stop, explain why and if he ignore then tell him where to go.
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Unexpectedly
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Be ruthless, it's time to say bye, bye, bye to that jerk. :yep:
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sadgal1
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as hard as it is i think i might have to :/ thank you!
(Original post by Unexpectedly)
Be ruthless, it's time to say bye, bye, bye to that jerk. :yep:
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I'mPooPoo
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You deserve so much better than that piece of trash. The others have already stated what you need to do so good luck. 🙂
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sadgal1
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thank you so much! <3
(Original post by I'mPooPoo)
You deserve so much better than that piece of trash. The others have already stated what you need to do so good luck. 🙂
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MidgetFever
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Leave him, the guy sounds like a ****.
No one deserves to feel insecure about their appearance, and it most certainly isn't "just a joke" if he's hurting you.
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k.l109
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Leave him sis, his personality must be *****tt, you can do better!
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cxnny.xox
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That’s not your man periodtttt😳
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sadgal1
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i wasnt sure if i was being too sensitive but im glad people understand. thank you!! 😭
(Original post by MidgetFever)
Leave him, the guy sounds like a ****.
No one deserves to feel insecure about their appearance, and it most certainly isn't "just a joke" if he's hurting you.
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sadgal1
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thank u queen 😔
(Original post by k.l109)
Leave him sis, his personality must be *****tt, you can do better!
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sadgal1
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i guess not lmao
(Original post by cxnny.xox)
That’s not your man periodtttt😳
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SlightlySummer
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Leave him and update us!
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Anonymous #1
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break up with him asap

better to be single than be with someone who treats you like this
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AngryRedhead
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(Original post by sadgal1)
me and my boyfriend have been together for two years. these feelings of ugliness and unworthiness started when he would make rude remarks about my cousins (my very attractive cousins) telling me what he would like to do with them in a sexual way. he would do this on multiple occasions and it hurt me because i have always felt inferior to them as they are basically super models. i told him this and he has since stopped but it really had an impact on my self esteem. though he doesnt make comments about my family members anymore, he still feels the need to make remarks poking fun at my appearance and it is really starting to get to me. he claims its all fun but he doesnt realise they are hurtful and are impacting me negatively. the other day he was bragging to me about how much better looking he is than me and how i shouldnt worry because i am ‘pretty on the inside’. he tends to compliment his female friends alot more than he does me and i fear this is turning me into someone i dont want to be - an insecure jealous mess. am i being irrational in thinking this way? what should i do?
What a prick. Dump his emotionally abusive ass
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by sadgal1)
i will attempt to have one more conversation with him and if nothing changes i’ll leave because i cant keep doing this to myself. thank you for this reply
don't even bother, I'm sure he'll be all lovely and apologetic. Your two years has already taught you who he really is. Just dump him. And maybe spend some time on yourself and your self esteem before getting into a new relationship
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sadgal1
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i just spoke to him and he said he would change but i know he wont :/ i know i deserve better but i love him too much thanking everyone that replied <333
(Original post by Anonymous)
don't even bother, I'm sure he'll be all lovely and apologetic. Your two years has already taught you who he really is. Just dump him. And maybe spend some time on yourself and your self esteem before getting into a new relationship
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