The Student Room Group

Boyfriend's confusing me! :(

Please keep anon because i'm embarrassed to have such a pathetic and common problem.
Well I've been with my boyfriend for 4 months and he has begun to play serious mind games with me. I see right through every one of them but i just dont understand why he does it. i have a girl friend who he seems to be hanging around with more than ever, but i've got used to it and accepted it. I'd hate to be one of those jealous girlfriends. But yesterday he went out with her and 3 other girls and then boasted about it indirectly. I let this slide, thinking if i dont show that i am jealous maybe he would stop, and just relax. But then when i asked him how his day was he texted me saying it was brilliant (he went to see a chic flick :rolleyes: ) and then said something completely irrelevent, "she's (a girl) so funny, i was chattin to her whilst and after i was talking to you" - so i was like, okkkkk. I mean whats with the extra information huh?
Ok I cant call this jealousy because im not insecure like that. I know I have qualities beyond those other girls and that my bf sees this. But the problem is him - he plays these games so blatantly that im just left confused. What is he playing at??

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Reply 1
my friend acted similar with his gf his reasons were, when i asked "so she would ask me "is everything ok?" and then he could say "well no it isnt, bla bla bla". he wanted to offload her before uni
Reply 2
Maybe he's playing a bit of the old hard-to-get. Personally, I can't be doing with it - I'd go and find someone a bit more mature :smile:
Maybe he is just an idiot? Maybe he wants you to be jealous? Maybe he is trying to do what PaddyT suggested.

Next time he says it, ask him why? Or just keep ignoring him :p:
Reply 4
So he wants to dump me? bloody hell what a relief that would be, finally understanding the situation for a change! if he wants to i hope he does it soon instead of pissin about. I mean im not a toy!
Reply 5
Do it first ... gain the advantage ...
Judging by that post up here ^ you seem to not really want to be in it anymore.
Reply 6
Lu-x
Maybe he's playing a bit of the old hard-to-get. Personally, I can't be doing with it - I'd go and find someone a bit more mature :smile:

But he's got me! I don't know how to make it more clear to him! But going out and getting someone more mature is easier said than done - i mean we have an emotional attachment!
Reply 7
Sounds gay tbh.
Reply 8
Its unlikely that he's gay. If i say the tiniest insult to his manhood, he'll get all moody. In fact i find myself usually trying to adjust to his mood. He's ok with other girls, its just me, his girlfriend, that he has to be a git with.
Reply 9
He's being a ****** Break up with him before he can break up with you.

That sounds harsh, but he's being a w*nker and you deserve someone who won't seemingly intentionally make you uneasy.
I can't be doing with someone who plays mind games or hard to get, first talk to him about this and if he just carries on or brushes you off, just get rid of him and find a guy who appreciates you and is not so immature.
Reply 11
daryush
Do it first ... gain the advantage ...
Judging by that post up here ^ you seem to not really want to be in it anymore.

lol but i do love him and i know it would be difficult to move on from him, if i dont talk to him one day, my day would be incomplete.
so i dont want to dump him but if is isnt meant to be - i hope he dumps me, i hate breaking people's hearts. I broke my last bfs heart by breaking up with him and i feel guilty about it everyday.
Reply 12
katkit
He's being a ****** Break up with him before he can break up with you.
That sounds harsh, but he's being a w*nker and you deserve someone who won't seemingly intentionally make you uneasy.

Thanks for the advice :smile: but the problem is he does it indirectly, so if i break up with him he'll see it as sudden and act as if he's done nothing wrong. And then i know that ill be the one who'll end up feelin like an idiot.
Reply 13
Then ask him straight out. Shock him so much that he starts feeling guilty.

Say, out of nowhere, "Look, do you want me to break up with you?"

If he asks why, shrug, and say, "Just asking."

If he's playing with you, play with him.
Reply 14
Anonymous
If i say the tiniest insult to his manhood, he'll get all moody.


Gay in denial.
Reply 15
I'm sorry honey, I know I sound a little harsh maybes, but I hate guys doing things like that. Really, really pisses me off. Well, actually, it annoys me when girls AND guys do it.
Rather than discussing his motives on here, why don't you just ask him why he's acting like that?
Reply 17
katkit
Then ask him straight out. Shock him so much that he starts feeling guilty.

Say, out of nowhere, "Look, do you want me to break up with you?"

If he asks why, shrug, and say, "Just asking."

If he's playing with you, play with him.


Yeahhh this is good advice. Nice idea.
katkit
Then ask him straight out. Shock him so much that he starts feeling guilty.

Say, out of nowhere, "Look, do you want me to break up with you?"

If he asks why, shrug, and say, "Just asking."

If he's playing with you, play with him.

haha i wish i was that type of girl. i really do. but im too nice! :redface:
but i can play games back, i think. :smile:
linda helena
Rather than discussing his motives on here, why don't you just ask him why he's acting like that?

I cant be straight up with him. He'll laugh at me and deny he's doing anything wrong. Its happened before. I think ill make it my plan to play games back just to find out his motives. what else can i do.