Help me stop resenting private/grammar/top state schooled people Watch

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jhbgjhbbjkhn
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Alright basically my education was awful, I dropped out very young then went back and sat my A levels after lying about GCSE's. After being predicted something like CDEE I got A*A*A*A*, although of course this didn't matter cause my GCSE's were beyond awful. Couldn't apply to where I wanted which annoyed me no end but tried to move on.

Arrive at uni and get 2 massive redpills, other people with A*A*A+ seem no better than people with BBB at my awful sixth form and that the people at the top unis all come from the same schools e.g. one of my friends from a grammar said 50 people went to oxbridge from hers whereas mine was none in last 5 years.

And what makes it worst is I don't actually have a problem with private schools, I've been unbelievably lucky financially and should be able to pay for them myself, I'm simply jealous and bitter how there are many lazy, incompetent idiots get such a huge leg up just through luck of being higher born. Seriously one of my housemates dropped out cause he did nothing but play videogames everyday, which is probably what he'd have done at A level if he didn't have his parents holding him every step of the way. Meanwhile I had to study myself, get the confidence to apply despite everyone telling me to drop out and work at mcdonalds and then actually get good grades despite clearly very overworked teachers.

It annoys me so much knowing that if I had supportive parents and a decent school I'd almost certainly be at somewhere like imperial/ucl and realistically would have been a very strong oxbridge applicant, and its honestly lead me to resent people who went to good schools and have caring parents.

If anyones got something which would help me move on I'd be really grateful to hear it. I know it's unfair but I just can't accept it at the moment.
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Notoriety
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You will get over this resentment eventually when you have your own success.
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jhbgjhbbjkhn
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(Original post by Notoriety)
You will get over this resentment eventually when you have your own success.
I have A*A*A*A* at A level, 90% at uni and 200k at 20. I'm already "ultra successful" and the resentment is still there, cause I know I could be sooooo much more successful with a proper education and advice growing up.
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(Original post by jhbgjhbbjkhn)
I have A*A*A*A* at A level, 90% at uni and 200k at 20. I'm already "ultra successful" and the resentment is still there, cause I know I could be sooooo much more successful with a proper education and advice growing up.
Ahh OK.
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NetNeutrality
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(Original post by jhbgjhbbjkhn)
I have A*A*A*A* at A level, 90% at uni and 200k at 20. I'm already "ultra successful" and the resentment is still there, cause I know I could be sooooo much more successful with a proper education and advice growing up.
then why be jealous? anything into 6 figures is an amazing amount, and you've gotten there without the extra help. what more could you honestly want?
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(Original post by NetNeutrality)
then why be jealous? anything into 6 figures is an amazing amount, and you've gotten there without the extra help. what more could you honestly want?
Why indeed. Almost as if they're trollin'.
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jhbgjhbbjkhn
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(Original post by NetNeutrality)
then why be jealous? anything into 6 figures is an amazing amount, and you've gotten there without the extra help. what more could you honestly want?
An oxbridge degree, supportive parents to give actually good advice, help getting the most prestigious internships, wish I had a chance to study other subjects (I just randomly picked maths, f.maths, phys, economics whereas I'm not sure if I'm more interested in biology really now).
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_gcx
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(Original post by jhbgjhbbjkhn)
I have A*A*A*A* at A level, 90% at uni and 200k at 20. I'm already "ultra successful" and the resentment is still there, cause I know I could be sooooo much more successful with a proper education and advice growing up.
Must be a new record - a semi-plausible OP rendered obvious nonsense after one reply.
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whyamialive
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Don't worry, even if they have an advantage by going to private schools, it still won't change their attitude. If they had gotten very good grades after coming out of such schools, then they also put in effort themselves to achieve them. You got outstanding grades that many people would be jealous of, so stop feeling angry and start working towards your goals.

The lazy ones will be weeded out anyway, untless they start maturing.
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Neilos
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I imagine you'll have a certain, very strong sense of pride at what you acheived despite all the obstacles you had to overcome. No one who has had an easy ride in life will never be able to feel that emotion, even if they achieve what you do. So pity them - they'll never be able to feel that.

And the life you've lived made you into what you are, gave you the drive you have. If you'd had an easy ride and never had to work hard, you may never have developed that and you could easily have grown up into that kid who dropped out because he played games all day.
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jhbgjhbbjkhn
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(Original post by _gcx)
Must be a new record - a semi-plausible OP rendered obvious nonsense after one reply.
What's hard to believe? I'm studying maths where through sheer hard work 90% is possible. 200k isn't (too) much, yeah and I got it in such a trashy/skilless way I'm not proud of it. I clearly am ultra-successful, unless of course you mean imo medalist, child prodigy, silicon valley teenage ceo etc

(Original post by whyamialive)
Don't worry, even if they have an advantage by going to private schools, it still won't change their attitude. If they had gotten very good grades after coming out of such schools, then they also put in effort themselves to achieve them. You got outstanding grades that many people would be jealous of, so stop feeling angry and start working towards your goals.

The lazy ones will be weeded out anyway, untless they start maturing.
I guess it still pisses me off.
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jhbgjhbbjkhn
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(Original post by Neilos)
I imagine you'll have a certain, very strong sense of pride at what you acheived despite all the obstacles you had to overcome. No one who has had an easy ride in life will never be able to feel that emotion, even if they achieve what you do. So pity them - they'll never be able to feel that.

And the life you've lived made you into what you are, gave you the drive you have. If you'd had an easy ride and never had to work hard, you may never have developed that and you could easily have grown up into that kid who dropped out because he played games all day.
I'm sure you're right about the last part, no denying I did it all to escape bad home.
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NetNeutrality
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(Original post by jhbgjhbbjkhn)
An oxbridge degree, supportive parents to give actually good advice, help getting the most prestigious internships, wish I had a chance to study other subjects (I just randomly picked maths, f.maths, phys, economics whereas I'm not sure if I'm more interested in biology really now).
yes but look where you are now, and you didnt need all of that to be successful, there's still the opportunity for you to pursue further interests outside of school/uni, and it seems you're currently living a good life, right?
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GrapefruitBread
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(Original post by jhbgjhbbjkhn)
Alright basically my education was awful, I dropped out very young then went back and sat my A levels after lying about GCSE's. After being predicted something like CDEE I got A*A*A*A*, although of course this didn't matter cause my GCSE's were beyond awful. Couldn't apply to where I wanted which annoyed me no end but tried to move on.

Arrive at uni and get 2 massive redpills, other people with A*A*A+ seem no better than people with BBB at my awful sixth form and that the people at the top unis all come from the same schools e.g. one of my friends from a grammar said 50 people went to oxbridge from hers whereas mine was none in last 5 years.

And what makes it worst is I don't actually have a problem with private schools, I've been unbelievably lucky financially and should be able to pay for them myself, I'm simply jealous and bitter how there are many lazy, incompetent idiots get such a huge leg up just through luck of being higher born. Seriously one of my housemates dropped out cause he did nothing but play videogames everyday, which is probably what he'd have done at A level if he didn't have his parents holding him every step of the way. Meanwhile I had to study myself, get the confidence to apply despite everyone telling me to drop out and work at mcdonalds and then actually get good grades despite clearly very overworked teachers.

It annoys me so much knowing that if I had supportive parents and a decent school I'd almost certainly be at somewhere like imperial/ucl and realistically would have been a very strong oxbridge applicant, and its honestly lead me to resent people who went to good schools and have caring parents.

If anyones got something which would help me move on I'd be really grateful to hear it. I know it's unfair but I just can't accept it at the moment.
There are people like that and it absolutely is frustrating - however equally I don't think its fair to hold a resentment to everyone on that path either. There will still be people that have an advantage in education who have struggled massively for other reasons and those who despite their advantages still put the graft in. I think whilst understandable the frustration is better directed at the systems that mean there is even advantage and disadvantage in the first place.
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CoolCavy
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Not sure why you are lumping high state schools and grammars into private. In your OP you say this
(Original post by jhbgjhbbjkhn)
And what makes it worst is I don't actually have a problem with private schools, I've been unbelievably lucky financially and should be able to pay for them myself, I'm simply jealous and bitter how there are many lazy, incompetent idiots get such a huge leg up just through luck of being higher born. Seriously one of my housemates dropped out cause he did nothing but play videogames everyday, which is probably what he'd have done at A level if he didn't have his parents holding him every step of the way. Meanwhile I had to study myself, get the confidence to apply despite everyone telling me to drop out and work at mcdonalds and then actually get good grades despite clearly very overworked teachers.
Which explains why you hate private schools but not why you hate the others as your title suggests.
I went to a grammar and worked exceedingly hard to get A*AA, it wasnt just handed to me or an easy ride
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jhbgjhbbjkhn
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(Original post by NetNeutrality)
yes but look where you are now, and you didnt need all of that to be successful, there's still the opportunity for you to pursue further interests outside of school/uni, and it seems you're currently living a good life, right?
Actually all what happened is my standards adjusted. If I told my 16 yo GCSEless self "you're going to get A*A*A*A* in your A levels" I'd be absolutely overjoyed, now I just feel nothing. No pride or satisfaction, I consider that acceptable (for myself, only apply these standards to myself) and nothing more. Similar thing with money and sex (i used to be an awkward loser lol)
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NetNeutrality
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(Original post by CoolCavy)
Not sure why you are lumping high state schools and grammars into private. In your OP you say this


Which explains why you hate private schools but not why you hate the others as your title suggests.
I went to a grammar and worked exceedingly hard to get A*AA, it wasnt just handed to me or an easy ride
true, grammar school kids for the most part had to actually do an exam to get in, and most of us aren't crazy rich either
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CoolCavy
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(Original post by NetNeutrality)
true, grammar school kids for the most part had to actually do an exam to get in, and most of us aren't crazy rich either
Exactly, we all do the same exams and curriculum as everyone else, all they are are state schools (for the most part) that just do entrance exams. It's not some magical machine that grants you A*s with no work. People in my year got Cs and Bs, the ones who put in the hard work got the good grades, same as any school anywhere.
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NetNeutrality
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(Original post by jhbgjhbbjkhn)
Actually all what happened is my standards adjusted. If I told my 16 yo GCSEless self "you're going to get A*A*A*A* in your A levels" I'd be absolutely overjoyed, now I just feel nothing. No pride or satisfaction, I consider that acceptable (for myself, only apply these standards to myself) and nothing more. Similar thing with money and sex (i used to be an awkward loser lol)
ouch yea i get it doesnt feel worth it after. i'm just hitting gcses now (year 11) and like i feel like we've all just spent 2 years of our lives simply for a set of grades
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jhbgjhbbjkhn
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(Original post by CoolCavy)
Not sure why you are lumping high state schools and grammars into private. In your OP you say this


Which explains why you hate private schools but not why you hate the others as your title suggests.
I went to a grammar and worked exceedingly hard to get A*AA, it wasnt just handed to me or an easy ride
What's the difference between high performing states/grammars and privates? Nothing really, some private schooled people are rich but lets be honest it's not a huge leg up compared to the top grammars

The only people who go to them have great, supportive parents working to give you a leg up otherwise you just get sent to the nearest ****hole, and although I don't know just how good your grammar is the difference is insane between people with AAA here from the grammars and people with AAA at my s.form.
Last edited by jhbgjhbbjkhn; 2 months ago
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