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How would a guy speak to a girl he likes that he hadn’t spoken to in a while?

Hello, so I’ve really been wanting to speak to this girl I’ve liked for ages, and I haven’t spoke to her in a while, because my friends told me if she wasn’t starting conversations, then that must mean that she’s not interested, so I waited to see if she started some but she hasn’t and now I wish I just kept starting them.

How do I say something, over text, without it being awkward? Like how would I go about getting closer with her again?

We don’t see each other regularly either...

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Honestly? it’s going to feel awkward whatever you do but if you like this girl, stick at it. Also, tell the truth. You’ll dig yourself a bigger hole of you don’t. I’d opt for the “Hey. How are you? I feel like we haven’t spoken in ages”. She’ll reply if she wants to start talking, if not approach her with the same kind of thing when you next see her. Good luck!
Original post by Anonymous
Honestly? it’s going to feel awkward whatever you do but if you like this girl, stick at it. Also, tell the truth. You’ll dig yourself a bigger hole of you don’t. I’d opt for the “Hey. How are you? I feel like we haven’t spoken in ages”. She’ll reply if she wants to start talking, if not approach her with the same kind of thing when you next see her. Good luck!


Thank you so much, I really appreciate that :smile: One thing I’m worried about is not knowing what to say to continue the conversation on another day, since we haven’t spoke in a while.. any suggestions?
Original post by OrangeSquash_
Thank you so much, I really appreciate that :smile: One thing I’m worried about is not knowing what to say to continue the conversation on another day, since we haven’t spoke in a while.. any suggestions?

Just because she hasn't started any conversations with you doesn't mean she isn't interested. She might just be shy because she likes you. As for continuing the conversation say hi and pop up again. I would just be honest, tell her how you feel fairly quickly. Ask her out...this may feel scary or awkward but at least then you will see how she feels about you.
if u overtext when she aint initiating she has no interest. its a 2 way communication.
Original post by Anonymous
Just because she hasn't started any conversations with you doesn't mean she isn't interested. She might just be shy because she likes you. As for continuing the conversation say hi and pop up again. I would just be honest, tell her how you feel fairly quickly. Ask her out...this may feel scary or awkward but at least then you will see how she feels about you.


Okay, thanks, yeah I’ll definitely make sure to keep continuing but I feel like if I just say “Hey how’re you doing” every time I speak to her, will she not just get bored? I’m not sure if I’m overthinking it because I care so much about it...
Original post by Rid The Kid
if u overtext when she aint initiating she has no interest. its a 2 way communication.


Is that always the case? Or is it true that she might just be a shy and awkward person and she could be shy because she likes me? Also how do I know when I’m over texting?
Original post by OrangeSquash_
Okay, thanks, yeah I’ll definitely make sure to keep continuing but I feel like if I just say “Hey how’re you doing” every time I speak to her, will she not just get bored? I’m not sure if I’m overthinking it because I care so much about it...


Original post by OrangeSquash_
Is that always the case? Or is it true that she might just be a shy and awkward person and she could be shy because she likes me? Also how do I know when I’m over texting?


No I don't think saying "Hey how're you doing" each time isn't bad, if she likes you she will like the attention and not get bored. Your not overthinking its normal to feel like this :smile: If you both have the same classes or other things in common then maybe you can ask her about that? I"m shy and awkward and I was like this with the guy I liked. Try and not think too much and just do it, you won't know if you don't try.
Original post by Anonymous
No I don't think saying "Hey how're you doing" each time isn't bad, if she likes you she will like the attention and not get bored. Your not overthinking its normal to feel like this :smile: If you both have the same classes or other things in common then maybe you can ask her about that? I"m shy and awkward and I was like this with the guy I liked. Try and not think too much and just do it, you won't know if you don't try.


I’m planning on messaging her tomorrow night, I was gonna say something like “Hey, sorry it’s out of the blue, just wondering how you’re doing?” And then go from there - does that sound okay?

We don’t have that much in common, except we’re both in the middle of exams at the moment so I plan to ask about how they’re going for her.
Original post by OrangeSquash_
I’m planning on messaging her tomorrow night, I was gonna say something like “Hey, sorry it’s out of the blue, just wondering how you’re doing?” And then go from there - does that sound okay?

We don’t have that much in common, except we’re both in the middle of exams at the moment so I plan to ask about how they’re going for her.

Yeah that sounds great! :smile: good luck and let us know how it goes!!
Original post by Anonymous
Yeah that sounds great! :smile: good luck and let us know how it goes!!


Thank you! I will, thanks for the help & support :smile:
If you have any exams that you are both doing then bring that up. If she is smart at a certain subject you could send her a question saying like "Im rlly stuck on this question do you have any idea how to do it?" make sure it is a question that she would be capable of doing and would be able to give advice on easily.
Just saying, if she replies with something dead like "no sorry" then shes not interested in talking im sorry :frown:
I know that if I like speaking to someone and we havent spoke for a while then I will reply in a way that the other person can respond to so if she says something like "no sorry I have no idea why is this subject so hard how are you finding it etc etc..." then at least you know she likes to talk to you. Also, if you have exams right now thats maybe why shes not messaging you. I very rarely go out of my way to initiate conversations with people I don't speak to on the regular so she probably didn't think to message you.
Original post by Anonymous
If you have any exams that you are both doing then bring that up. If she is smart at a certain subject you could send her a question saying like "Im rlly stuck on this question do you have any idea how to do it?" make sure it is a question that she would be capable of doing and would be able to give advice on easily.
Just saying, if she replies with something dead like "no sorry" then shes not interested in talking im sorry :frown:
I know that if I like speaking to someone and we havent spoke for a while then I will reply in a way that the other person can respond to so if she says something like "no sorry I have no idea why is this subject so hard how are you finding it etc etc..." then at least you know she likes to talk to you. Also, if you have exams right now thats maybe why shes not messaging you. I very rarely go out of my way to initiate conversations with people I don't speak to on the regular so she probably didn't think to message you.


I don’t know cause sometimes when we used to talk a lot she’d say things for it to be carried, but I’d usually be the one to start new topics of conversation.
Okay so if I ask how her exams are going, then if she asks how mine are going do you think that means she’s interested in talking to me?
That’s true I thought that might be the reason for her not initiating conversations, but when we spoke before I’d always initiate them.
What I’m worried about, is that when I initiate a conversation tomorrow, I’m worried that she’ll say things that require me to come up with a whole new conversation, and not attempt to carry it, but towards the end of it I’m planning on saying that I have to go, and “I’ll speak to you later” to show that I’ve been interested in the conversation.
Also, should I use an “x” on the end?
It's so weird since I'm in literally the exact situation except I'm the girl yet I'm unsure on whether he likes me or not lol, he used to message a lot first and then he barely did so I assumed he didn't like me anymore and gave up, although when we do talk, he's quite difficult at continuing the conversation with since he ends up not reciprocating questions so after the context of my situation...

I'd genuinely just message and ask how her day is going etc and speak about literally anything, even if its the weather, or a movie, or food or literally the most random weirdest thing ever. Even though what your friends have said is true up to a point, perhaps she likes you too but just gets nervous to start conversations since, in my case, even though I really like this guy and rarely started the conversation first, if i did then i would just feel awkward since I'd have to be in control and idk that's just not me.

To get closer with her again, I'd try continuing the conversation as much as possible so even if that's seeing she's messaged before you go to sleep and just leaving it to reply to that message the next day or continuing it late at night and then messaging her good morning the next day, it'll definitely get you guys close.

With not seeing each other regularly (this is so weird bc i have the same thing in my instance too since he lives like 3 hours away lol) but maybe call/face time quite a bit? it tends to build emotional connection super quick

Best of luck, I hope all goes well with you!!
Original post by OrangeSquash_
Hello, so I’ve really been wanting to speak to this girl I’ve liked for ages, and I haven’t spoke to her in a while, because my friends told me if she wasn’t starting conversations, then that must mean that she’s not interested, so I waited to see if she started some but she hasn’t and now I wish I just kept starting them.

How do I say something, over text, without it being awkward? Like how would I go about getting closer with her again?

We don’t see each other regularly either...
Original post by OrangeSquash_
I don’t know cause sometimes when we used to talk a lot she’d say things for it to be carried, but I’d usually be the one to start new topics of conversation.
Okay so if I ask how her exams are going, then if she asks how mine are going do you think that means she’s interested in talking to me?
That’s true I thought that might be the reason for her not initiating conversations, but when we spoke before I’d always initiate them.
What I’m worried about, is that when I initiate a conversation tomorrow, I’m worried that she’ll say things that require me to come up with a whole new conversation, and not attempt to carry it, but towards the end of it I’m planning on saying that I have to go, and “I’ll speak to you later” to show that I’ve been interested in the conversation.
Also, should I use an “x” on the end?


Yeah you should put an "x" on the end
Original post by OrangeSquash_
I’m planning on messaging her tomorrow night, I was gonna say something like “Hey, sorry it’s out of the blue, just wondering how you’re doing?” And then go from there - does that sound okay?

We don’t have that much in common, except we’re both in the middle of exams at the moment so I plan to ask about how they’re going for her.

Bad idea to put it that way; if you're apologising to her for simply messaging her, before she's even responded, then you don't sound very confident at all.
Original post by Anonymous
It's so weird since I'm in literally the exact situation except I'm the girl yet I'm unsure on whether he likes me or not lol, he used to message a lot first and then he barely did so I assumed he didn't like me anymore and gave up, although when we do talk, he's quite difficult at continuing the conversation with since he ends up not reciprocating questions so after the context of my situation...

I'd genuinely just message and ask how her day is going etc and speak about literally anything, even if its the weather, or a movie, or food or literally the most random weirdest thing ever. Even though what your friends have said is true up to a point, perhaps she likes you too but just gets nervous to start conversations since, in my case, even though I really like this guy and rarely started the conversation first, if i did then i would just feel awkward since I'd have to be in control and idk that's just not me.

To get closer with her again, I'd try continuing the conversation as much as possible so even if that's seeing she's messaged before you go to sleep and just leaving it to reply to that message the next day or continuing it late at night and then messaging her good morning the next day, it'll definitely get you guys close.

With not seeing each other regularly (this is so weird bc i have the same thing in my instance too since he lives like 3 hours away lol) but maybe call/face time quite a bit? it tends to build emotional connection super quick

Best of luck, I hope all goes well with you!!


Well, in response to your situation, that’s kind of what I did (because I thought she wasn’t interested as she didn’t start conversations with me) so I just left it for a while and she didn’t start anything - even though I still really like her, I was told by my friends to just leave it, whereas now I regret that and wish I carried on talking to her.

That’s a really good idea about FaceTiming her, but I don’t know how I’d get to get close enough with her to get her number to FaceTime her, like what could I say to initiate a FaceTime call one day? And how long should I message her for (over Snapchat) before asking for her number and doing this?
Original post by jamesbarry17
Bad idea to put it that way; if you're apologising to her for simply messaging her, before she's even responded, then you don't sound very confident at all.


Oh that’s true, so how could I re-phrase that to make me sound more confident, but still have the same sort of point?
Start with a blunt 'hey just wanted to get in touch and see how it's going, haven't spoken in a while' or something along those lines but with more enthusiasm. Ask particular questions about school or family or whatever, then try to figure out what she's interested in like movies, music etc so that in future you can start convos by sharing videos or links or pics that can spark a chat , and it's more personal and interesting
Original post by OrangeSquash_
Hello, so I’ve really been wanting to speak to this girl I’ve liked for ages, and I haven’t spoke to her in a while, because my friends told me if she wasn’t starting conversations, then that must mean that she’s not interested, so I waited to see if she started some but she hasn’t and now I wish I just kept starting them.

How do I say something, over text, without it being awkward? Like how would I go about getting closer with her again?

We don’t see each other regularly either...
How did you and this girl of yours meet, like was it through a mutual friend or school? cause you could bring up the friend or class and use it in the convo initially & the more you talk to her, the more comfortable she'll get and give you her number & I'd say a month is long enough if you guys haven't spoken in a very long time, or even a 2 weeks. Honestly, you'll know when you both are comfortable enough to exchange numbers, but say eg, it's one night and you guys have been messaging for like 2/3 weeks and everthings going great, you could just be like 'up for a call?x' and see what she says

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