lsh6676
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Hi guys, I was wondering if anyone would be able to give me any corrections/improvements to my Spanish writing answer and possibly give me a predicted grade? Thanks in advance!

Ves una página web con el título, ‘Me gusta mi pueblo y voy a cuidarlo’. Decides escribir sobre tu pueblo y tu región.
Menciona:
• qué te gusta o no te gusta de tu pueblo
• qué hiciste durante un día de excursión en tu región
• qué haces para proteger el medio ambiente
• dónde quieres vivir en el futuro.
Escribe aproximadamente 90 palabras en español. Responde a todos los aspectos de la pregunta.
[16 marks]

Estoy escribiendo sobre mi pueblo y mi región:

Vivo en un pueblo que se llama Somerset es muy pequeño pero bonito. Me gusta mi pueblo porque la gente es simpático. Sin embargo mi hermana no le gusta nuestro pueblo porque no hay mucha marca.

El fin de semana pasado fui a un museo en mi pueblo fue muy histórico. Lo pasé bomba! Después fui a un restaurante local pero fue un desastre porque la comida me hizo enfermar. La semana que viene voy a ir a un centro commercial en mi región.

A mi modo de ver es muy importante cuidar el medio ambiente en su región. Reciclo el plástico y el vidrio también nunca malgasto agua. Me gustaría hacer mucho por ejemplo ducharse en vez de bañarse pero no tengo tiempo.

Me gustaría vivir en la nueva york en el futuro porque tiene muchos sitio de interés. Cuando era más joven vivía en los estados unidos fue muy bonito. Mi hermana le gustaría vivir en las montañas porque es tranquilo.

Adiós!
Last edited by lsh6676; 9 months ago
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UnbelievablyEasy
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I am definitely not the best at Spanish, but I got an 8 in the mocks, I am going to do it next year, and it doesn't appear like anyone else is helping you so I'll give it a shot.

Estoy escribiendo sobre mi pueblo y mi región:

Vivo en un pueblo que se llama Somerset que es muy pequeño pero bonito. Me gusta mi pueblo porque la gente es simpática. Sin embargo mi hermana no le gusta nuestro pueblo porque no hay mucha moda? o ropa de marca.

El fin de semana pasado fui a un museo en mi pueblo, fue muy histórico?. ¡Lo pasé bomba! Después fui a un restaurante local pero fue un desastre porque la comida me hizo enfermar. La semana que viene voy a ir a un centro comercial en mi región.

A mi modo de ver es muy importante cuidar el medio ambiente en su región. Reciclo el plástico y el vidrio también nunca malgasto agua. Me gustaría hacer mucho más en el futuro por ejemplo ducharse en vez de bañarse pero no tengo tiempo.

Me gustaría vivir en la Nueva York en el futuro porque tiene muchos sitio de interés. Cuando era más joven vivía en los Estados Unidos, fue muy bonito. Mi hermana le gustaría vivir en las montañas porque son tranquilas.

Adiós!


Notes + Mark:
Content (Out of 10)
-Nearly always your communication was clear this was quite well done
-It might be my fault, but the "moda" part confused me as I think it means "brand". I think you might have meant designer clothes, if so then it is "ropa de marca", if you know you are right then please ignore me on that
-The other slip up which affected communication was "Me gustaría hacer mucho por ejemplo..." which means "I would like to do a lot for example"
-However, both of these errors are not major in affecting communication
-The only major error I felt that it was strange to describe your day to a museum as historic which confused the sentence
-You expressed at least two opinions which are all that is needed for this question
-You conveyed a lot of information
-An issue you made was that you misinterpreted the first bullet point, you can only respond to one aspect of it (like OR don't) so be careful
-Ultimately, I would give you 7/10 (I can't give the top level because of the small issues with communication, and I didn't give you 8 because of how you referred to what you liked AND disliked for the first bullet point)

Quality of Language (Out of 6)
-I would have liked to see more vocabulary, you should try to not use the same vocabulary or phrases ever in these pieces, like "bonito" or "me gusta"
-I think you could have been more ambitious with your vocabulary choices for example instead of "bonito", "precioso"
-Having said that there was certainly a range of vocabulary
-You referenced all three-time frames
-Complex structures could have been attempted more such as trying the subjunctive, but there were complex sentences
-This is more accurate than inaccurate but there were still some silly mistakes that I know you could have cleared up if you checked more carefully (also it would be nice if you used more commas to make it clearer, but you would not get marked down for this)
-The style and register is appropriate
-I would give you 4/6, you have gained all the marks in level 2 and you can nearly move into level 3 (5-6) if you fix any silly mistakes, be more ambitious with vocabulary, never use the same vocabulary, and try and use the subjunctive or the imperfect subjunctive (or different complex structures like "lo peor es que..." o "recientmente me di cuenta de que...")

Overall: 11/16


Sorry for any grammar errors in the marking this took me way too long so don't have much time to check, hope I helped though!
Last edited by UnbelievablyEasy; 9 months ago
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lsh6676
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#3
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Thank you so much, your comments were really helpful
(Original post by UnbelievablyEasy)
I am definitely not the best at Spanish, but I got an 8 in the mocks, I am going to do it next year, and it doesn't appear like anyone else is helping you so I'll give it a shot.

Estoy escribiendo sobre mi pueblo y mi región:

Vivo en un pueblo que se llama Somerset que es muy pequeño pero bonito. Me gusta mi pueblo porque la gente es simpática. Sin embargo mi hermana no le gusta nuestro pueblo porque no hay mucha moda? o ropa de marca.

El fin de semana pasado fui a un museo en mi pueblo, fue muy histórico?. ¡Lo pasé bomba! Después fui a un restaurante local pero fue un desastre porque la comida me hizo enfermar. La semana que viene voy a ir a un centro comercial en mi región.

A mi modo de ver es muy importante cuidar el medio ambiente en su región. Reciclo el plástico y el vidrio también nunca malgasto agua. Me gustaría hacer mucho más en el futuro por ejemplo ducharse en vez de bañarse pero no tengo tiempo.

Me gustaría vivir en la Nueva York en el futuro porque tiene muchos sitio de interés. Cuando era más joven vivía en los Estados Unidos, fue muy bonito. Mi hermana le gustaría vivir en las montañas porque son tranquilas.

Adiós!


Notes + Mark:
Content (Out of 10)
-Nearly always your communication was clear this was quite well done
-It might be my fault, but the "moda" part confused me as I think it means "brand". I think you might have meant designer clothes, if so then it is "ropa de marca", if you know you are right then please ignore me on that
-The other slip up which affected communication was "Me gustaría hacer mucho por ejemplo..." which means "I would like to do a lot for example"
-However, both of these errors are not major in affecting communication
-The only major error I felt that it was strange to describe your day to a museum as historic which confused the sentence
-You expressed at least two opinions which are all that is needed for this question
-You conveyed a lot of information
-An issue you made was that you misinterpreted the first bullet point, you can only respond to one aspect of it (like OR don't) so be careful
-Ultimately, I would give you 7/10 (I can't give the top level because of the small issues with communication, and I didn't give you 8 because of how you referred to what you liked AND disliked for the first bullet point)

Quality of Language (Out of 6)
-I would have liked to see more vocabulary, you should try to not use the same vocabulary or phrases ever in these pieces, like "bonito" or "me gusta"
-I think you could have been more ambitious with your vocabulary choices for example instead of "bonito", "precioso"
-Having said that there was certainly a range of vocabulary
-You referenced all three-time frames
-Complex structures could have been attempted more such as trying the subjunctive, but there were complex sentences
-This is more accurate than inaccurate but there were still some silly mistakes that I know you could have cleared up if you checked more carefully (also it would be nice if you used more commas to make it clearer, but you would not get marked down for this)
-The style and register is appropriate
-I would give you 4/6, you have gained all the marks in level 2 and you can nearly move into level 3 (5-6) if you fix any silly mistakes, be more ambitious with vocabulary, never use the same vocabulary, and try and use the subjunctive or the imperfect subjunctive (or different complex structures like "lo peor es que..." o "recientmente me di cuenta de que...")

Overall: 11/16


Sorry for any grammar errors in the marking this took me way too long so don't have much time to check, hope I helped though!
Last edited by lsh6676; 9 months ago
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UnbelievablyEasy
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(Original post by lsh6676)
Thank you so much, your comments were a lot of help
Glad to help!
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dannywayles
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Do you need to include lots of tenses on this question to get more marks?(If they are relevant)
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lsh6676
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I don't think you need to include lots to tenses but make sure you should try to include present, preterite, simple and near future.
(Original post by dannywayles)
Do you need to include lots of tenses on this question to get more marks?(If they are relevant)
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UnbelievablyEasy
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(Original post by dannywayles)
Do you need to include lots of tenses on this question to get more marks?(If they are relevant)
On this question, technically you only need to include one past tense, one present tense, and one future tense. However, it would be nice to show a greater range and some more complex tenses to highlight the use of complex structures.
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