English language GCSE Paper 1 question 2

You should embed you quotes into your sentences instead of putting them at the beginning and end to show the examiner that you are analysing the language thoroughly; analysis of quotations should be the main part of your answer as it is a ‘how’ question. I also feel you haven’t written enough for 8 marks so add more in depth analysis. 3/4 out of 8. Improvements: add more analysis, embed quotes to make your sentences flow more easily and write more about the extract.

mark my question 2 answer out of 8 marks.
And tell me how can I improve this answer.
Q2 How does the writer describe the extravagance of the parties?

Scott Fitzgerald describes the party as very extravagance and very delightful. "in his blue garden men and girls came and went like moths". Fitzgerald has used a simile to describe that the men and women are enjoying the party. This suggest that the men and women are always excited to go Gatsby's party. The noun "moth" gives us an impression that they are very over hyped about this party.

Furthermore the writer describes the food of the party as very wealthy and luxurious. "turkeys bewitched to dark gold". Fitzgerald has used a noun phase "dark gold" to describe the food as very valuable. This suggest that the food along with the party does cost a fortune. It gives us an impression that Gatsby's parties are very expensive and shows that he is a posh and wealthy man.

It’s a good answer, very clear and good language! Just a couple of things though: for quotes it’s really important to ‘embed’ them into the sentence rather than separating them. For example you could say: Scott Fitzgerald describes the party as very extravagant and very delightful, seeing as “men and girls came and went like moths”. Examiners love this because it shows you can adapt.
Also, try not to use the word ‘describe’ too much... it sounds unimportant I know but they like it when you use a couple of other words as well like ‘portrays’ ‘presents’.
One final piece of advice which is probably the most important: you can go into greater detail with some of the features. It’s better to say more about a couple of words than give only a brief explanation of quite a few. It makes life easier and it just shows to the examiner that you’re a great analyst. So for the second example about the food being ‘dark gold’ you could go into detail about how gold is a very precious and expensive metal, therefore indicating how costly the food must be. Also the fact that ‘gold’ is contrasted with ‘dark’ is an oxymoron is interesting, seeing as gold has connotations with something bright and glittering, not dark. Therefore it draws the reader’s attention to it because it’s not what they expect etc etc etc.....

This sounds like a lot, I know, but honestly your answer is v good!

paper 1 question 3 is what ?