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could anyone mark this and give it a mark out of 40?
His shoes patted against the wet-hot sand, they sunk slightly and made it difficult to walk; his socks were soggy and the granular substance pricked his feet. The pale yellowish brown grains, littered with a thousand broken seashells. All of the looked alike yet were quite simple but pretty with its shiny sheen, glazed with little designs; they decorated the small beach.
The sun peeked through the clouds, the dull brightness in the sky. This day was quite gloomy compared to any other day. Usually the beach was so crowded there wasn’t an ounce of space- all full of people in their glorious laugher, the soft splashes in the sea and the smiles that never faded away. It was different, or maybe it was just him? The dull grey clouds looked like puffs of smoke and the lack of people was something he wasn’t accustomed to. The sailor shrugged of his feeling of agitation and briskly walked across the beach, effortlessly despite his feet dragged and felt heavy. This feeling wasn’t a new one. The taste of the salty ocean on his tongue and the fresh crisp air wasn’t a new feeling either. Maybe it was his boredom with the usual tranquil setting, the same place every day that made him feel gloomy. Nothing was exciting anymore. He can only remember the moments that once made him euphoric, gleaming in the soft sunshine as he was with his friends- but he couldn’t do that anymore.
The sailor boarded his small creaky boat and quickly started to paddle. The sea twisted and turned, the sheer crystal clear waves weaving and drawing him into the vast water. However this time it was tinted grey, due to the hollow reflection of the faded clouds. A sigh left the sailors lips.
“If only the sun shone on me.”He wished as he sunk in his lonely desires.
He found himself staring at his own reflection as he clenched his palms which were dry like a prune. They were weak and felt like weight pulling him to the centre of the earth, the force was excruciating. He grabbed the net and flung it into the sea, hoping to catch the vibrant fish that surrounded underneath the vast sea. The excitement of sailing dissipated and faded into the water when his father left, he was the only one left in his small creaky boat.
Crash. The wave shocked him as it crawled towards his boat almost making him lose grip of the net. He winced as he felt blisters forming on those clammy hands that lost all little strength they had. Instead he felt as if the net was surrounding him, trapped. His breath sharpened and was racing due to the waves thrashing and whipping his skin, losing all control. His eyes danced to every corner in panic, all he saw was the bloody ocean, and his miniature house- 100 miles away. He released the net and let it slip out his grasp as he tumbled back into his boat, an immense pain emerging into every muscle of his body. Was he going to lose everything today? The male gave up that day, the stars decorated the sky and the shells decorated his death bed.
He sunk in his lonely desires.

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