can someone mark my english creative piece out of 40 please. thank you

Darkness enveloped my dreary surroundings. I lifted my numbed hands to my face, unable to see anything. A coiling wind battered my aching body, making me feel even weaker. It was cold. The stealthy snowflakes circled my face, trying to drive me into a state of hypothermia and trap me in this cold hell.I had to escape;it was too cold
A few hours later, after walking around, I finally heard something. Turning around, I started walking towards the noise. All of a sudden, I felt a slow burn in my calves reminding me of the build-up of lactic acid in my legs. Arms had to be willed to movement just like my legs. My body was refusing my command: its will crippling to the might of the cold. Every step was pain; I cried in vexation. But I finally reached the exit. My hard work paid off.
To my surprise, my memories came back to me flooding to the extremities of my brain.Nerves reconnected. Everything made sense. A solitary tear ran down my cheek, coming into contact with my cut nose. The pain stimulated my senses and allowed me to see everything in its unfiltered form. One…two…three. No, this was real.
Disaster.
Plane was declining at 45 degrees. Mass panic. The passengers were in a state of frenzy with their delusional expressions. Flimsy oxygen masks fell from the ceiling of the airplane. The combined stench diffused profusely and equally across the airplane. We were heading into oblivion. The tip of the airplane made contact with the ground. Lives would be lost. why was this happening?
Scattered pieces of the airplane impaled the snowy plains. A streak of red was splattered around, destroying the ethereal view. No …it couldn’t be…there was no survivors. I could imagine an unlucky passenger being left open with a gaping hole, their wounds festering and their limbs slowly starting the cycle of decay. It was sad.
I thought I heard a voice. My head was playing with me(I was severely tired). I walked towards the main body of the airplane, seeing a person’s hand stuck in the air, possibly needing help. I broke into a run till I saw that he or she was dead. Their hand was attached to the broken door of the airplane, their body nowhere in sight. I Didn’t want to stay - I wanted to run away.
I was slowly starting to lose consciousness. I imagined a sloshing, swirling sea swallowing me up, my surroundings becoming more fluid. I lost consciousness and fell into the bed of snow. The cold had won.

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