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My journey to overcome my Eating Disorder/My Eating Disorder - AMA [TW]

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A stupid man asked ‘why do you eat and then throw up?’ ‘Don’t you want to have a healthy body?’
I don’t know if I have bulimia or anorexia. I don’t eat for a while, binge and purge. I have had anorexia and bulimia before to. One of the things I cannot do is exercise because I am in hospital. No one understands me. I
Hope some here can share experiences.
I can’t keep anything down :frown:

Someone is watching me too. He doesn’t seem to mind albeit asking stupid questions.

I just want this all to end. I’m not happy with myself. Please help me I am starting to have an eating disorder
Original post by Anonymous
Hey, how are you? I'm getting there. I didn't purge on Sunday, but did on Monday and Tuesday. My mum continues to question why I keep buying so much food and throwing some away and she accompanied me to the shops today which means I haven't been able to buy purge foods so won't purge tonight. I'm finding I can resist until the evening, then my mind goes 'screw it, just purge' sadly. I kinda just want to be thin now because I feel like a sumo wrestler and I'm so unhappy in my body. How's lockdown life?

I’m ok thanks. At least you’ve managed a couple of times this week without purging.

Have you thought about telling your mum what is going on? It sounds as though she knows something already. It may help having someone else in real life to talk to and help you through this.
Original post by Mosaic4
I’m ok thanks. At least you’ve managed a couple of times this week without purging.

Have you thought about telling your mum what is going on? It sounds as though she knows something already. It may help having someone else in real life to talk to and help you through this.

Thanks and I don't really feel like I want to speak to her about this. I've spoken to my friends about this in the past and they can't give me the level of support I need (understandable really) and, though my mum now accepts mental health is a thing, I don't think she'd understand this.

Original post by Anonymous
I can’t keep anything down :frown:

Someone is watching me too. He doesn’t seem to mind albeit asking stupid questions.

I just want this all to end. I’m not happy with myself. Please help me I am starting to have an eating disorder

What do you feel need from us right now? We're happy to support you in whatever way we can. :smile:
Heyy there. I’m new to this and I also struggle with a slight eating disorder. How are you doing during quarantine?
Hope you’re doing great. How’ve you been?
Original post by Anonymous
Hope you’re doing great. How’ve you been?


Hey, I'm doing great cheers. Recovery is actually going fantastically well - I used to be purging everyday and I'm now down to maybe twice a month maximum. There's still a little work to do yet to fully stop the habit, but mentally I am doing so much better. How are you doing?
Original post by Anonymous
Hey, I'm doing great cheers. Recovery is actually going fantastically well - I used to be purging everyday and I'm now down to maybe twice a month maximum. There's still a little work to do yet to fully stop the habit, but mentally I am doing so much better. How are you doing?


Omg!!! No but I feel emotional rnn. I’m sooo happy for you. I remember when you used to purge everyday. Twice a month is so impressive!! I hope you’re so proud of yourself 🙈 Do you have any plans on how you’re going to completely stop?

I’ve been fine- going abroad made my relationship with food a little better but I’m starting to feel a relapse (I mentally planned it months ago). I’ve gained weight so I bought a new scale after my sister threw my other one away (I was fine until I felt things haven’t been perfect). I’ll be starting work so I’m guessing that’s an automatic relapse. Have you managed to make new friends?
Original post by Anonymous
Omg!!! No but I feel emotional rnn. I’m sooo happy for you. I remember when you used to purge everyday. Twice a month is so impressive!! I hope you’re so proud of yourself 🙈 Do you have any plans on how you’re going to completely stop?

I’ve been fine- going abroad made my relationship with food a little better but I’m starting to feel a relapse (I mentally planned it months ago). I’ve gained weight so I bought a new scale after my sister threw my other one away (I was fine until I felt things haven’t been perfect). I’ll be starting work so I’m guessing that’s an automatic relapse. Have you managed to make new friends?


I really am - I couldn't had done this without the support of a lot of people, but especially my wonderful partner. In reality, the twice a month is itself tailing off and I think will naturally disappear with a bit more time and a final bit of work.

I'm so glad your relationship with food is better too! You talk about mentally planning a relapse, but remember that you have control now and that things don't have to be that way if you address the issues now. Avoid talking about 'automatic relapses' and instead focus on how you'll avoid it. Yep, I've managed to make new friends and worked on having healthier connections with my old ones and that has helped too.
Original post by Anonymous
I really am - I couldn't had done this without the support of a lot of people, but especially my wonderful partner. In reality, the twice a month is itself tailing off and I think will naturally disappear with a bit more time and a final bit of work.

I'm so glad your relationship with food is better too! You talk about mentally planning a relapse, but remember that you have control now and that things don't have to be that way if you address the issues now. Avoid talking about 'automatic relapses' and instead focus on how you'll avoid it. Yep, I've managed to make new friends and worked on having healthier connections with my old ones and that has helped too.


Yh the 2 can easily become 1 and then none. Hopefully then you’re able to leave the binge/purge cycle in the past and move on!! Congratulations on finding a partner. Are you living together?

Tbf I see where you’re coming from and it’s really depressing just thinking about food but I can’t help it. I seem to need it to be able to take control. I’m starting to hate the word control lmaoo. As pessimistic as I may sound rn I’m glad I’m having a relapse. I feel it came at the right time in my life. However, it became harder than before- I’m not as obsessed which hurts so I now have to remind myself why I’m avoiding something rather than it coming naturally.

How’s poetry going for you?

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