Hate my university and course Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 3 weeks ago
#1
I'm at SOAS and I'm literally miserable. I'm a second year student. I dont enjoy my course or my time here at all.
There were a couple of incidents with a guy (whom I knew since 2017) which made me extremely miserable. I ve noticed that ever since his departure from my life, my health (got back and neck problems and ocassional issues with legs), my performance and grades have drastically fallen. I managed to get a 2.1 overall last year but this year its dreadful. Due to my physical and emotional problems, I'm at either 2.2 or a third. There are 2 modules which I'm scared of. I think I might fail those modules.

I had friends in my first course I did in early 2017 which was a short one but for the degree course, I virtually have no friends. Just people I talk to but not really friends. It's also difficult to integrate as the atmosphere is centred around groupism. My course also lacks a large student body so it's even more difficult.

Overall I hate my time and I feel really isolated and lonely. This has magnified since that guy left. And he was very dear to me.

I'm a tier 4 student so it's difficult for me to take a gap year as it means I would need to redo my visa and thats a tedious process.
I dont know what to do. Any advice?
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Liverpool Hope University
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#2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm at SOAS and I'm literally miserable. I'm a second year student. I dont enjoy my course or my time here at all.
There were a couple of incidents with a guy (whom I knew since 2017) which made me extremely miserable. I ve noticed that ever since his departure from my life, my health (got back and neck problems and ocassional issues with legs), my performance and grades have drastically fallen. I managed to get a 2.1 overall last year but this year its dreadful. Due to my physical and emotional problems, I'm at either 2.2 or a third. There are 2 modules which I'm scared of. I think I might fail those modules.

I had friends in my first course I did in early 2017 which was a short one but for the degree course, I virtually have no friends. Just people I talk to but not really friends. It's also difficult to integrate as the atmosphere is centred around groupism. My course also lacks a large student body so it's even more difficult.

Overall I hate my time and I feel really isolated and lonely. This has magnified since that guy left. And he was very dear to me.

I'm a tier 4 student so it's difficult for me to take a gap year as it means I would need to redo my visa and thats a tedious process.
I dont know what to do. Any advice?
Hello,

I am sorry to hear this.

Have you tried to contact the student support and well-being team at your university? Most of the times these services go unused and can be fantastic help in offering services such as counselors and advice experts. I would also recommend if you have not already looked in to it, that you look at what the student union offers in terms of societies and clubs you could get in involved in, to meet like-minded individuals.

I hope this helps,
Tom :shakehand:
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Anonymous #2
#3
Report 3 weeks ago
#3
Might be worth looking into going to a different uni. Some might let you start the in the second year if you like the course just not the way it's taught. If not, you should still be able to get student finance for another full 3-year degree, if I remember correctly.
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Xarao
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Might be worth looking into going to a different uni. Some might let you start the in the second year if you like the course just not the way it's taught. If not, you should still be able to get student finance for another full 3-year degree, if I remember correctly.
She won't be getting funding for another full 3-year degree if she chooses that route. However, if she decides to join another university onto the second year with the same course, then that's possible.
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Anonymous #1
#5
Report Thread starter 3 weeks ago
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(Original post by Liverpool Hope University)
Hello,

I am sorry to hear this.

Have you tried to contact the student support and well-being team at your university? Most of the times these services go unused and can be fantastic help in offering services such as counselors and advice experts. I would also recommend if you have not already looked in to it, that you look at what the student union offers in terms of societies and clubs you could get in involved in, to meet like-minded individuals.

I hope this helps,
Tom :shakehand:
I haven't tried to as I'm a bit scared of approaching them. I feel that they might think I'm too sentimental. I did try to join a few societies but most of them don't meet except one which had only 2 members. I did actively participate in that group but it wasn't much of a help since the society leader is never at SOAS as shes working person (shes graduating this year as well) and the other has her own set of friends.

So I really dont know what to do.
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Anonymous #1
#6
Report Thread starter 3 weeks ago
#6
(Original post by Anonymous)
Might be worth looking into going to a different uni. Some might let you start the in the second year if you like the course just not the way it's taught. If not, you should still be able to get student finance for another full 3-year degree, if I remember correctly.
The problem is thst my parents dont want me to drop this uni as they say I'm almost finished as I will be progressing to the final year and its all over.
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Anonymous #2
#7
Report 3 weeks ago
#7
Your parents aren't really the ones who are deciding, it's your life, you're an adult and you can decide. Obviously you can take into account their opinions, but ultimately if you're not enjoying anything about being there, it's not really worth staying. It's a lot of money to be spending on something you hate.
(Original post by Anonymous)
The problem is thst my parents dont want me to drop this uni as they say I'm almost finished as I will be progressing to the final year and its all over.
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Anonymous #1
#8
Report Thread starter 3 weeks ago
#8
(Original post by Anonymous)
Your parents aren't really the ones who are deciding, it's your life, you're an adult and you can decide. Obviously you can take into account their opinions, but ultimately if you're not enjoying anything about being there, it's not really worth staying. It's a lot of money to be spending on something you hate.
I agree. But I'm at literal crossroads. I dont have a good relationship with my family and I'm 26 so they want me to basically stop being a burden on them and get a degree+job as they cant keep me or keep paying for me all my life.

If I end up leaving they will really make my life hell by claiming they spent so much money on a drop out.

My father used to ridicule me calling me illiterate, drop out, uneducated when I didn't join university. He only shut up when I started pursuing my course but even then causes issues to the amount of money he has to pay for fees and accommodation.

What can I do in such a situation? It's like I'm forced to do this as my family is extremely problematic. I know that in this mental condition I will score really poorly in my final year, if I manage to get through. Is therr anything that i can do or are all doors closed for me?
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Anonymous #2
#9
Report 3 weeks ago
#9
Apply for student finance so your parents aren't paying for it.
It's not even like you're dropping out and abandoning uni altogether, you just don't like the one you're at. Your parents should not be treating you like that, it's really manipulative. You should do what makes you happy. Do some research, see what student finance you can get and look into other courses/unis would be my best advice.
(Original post by Anonymous)
I agree. But I'm at literal crossroads. I dont have a good relationship with my family and I'm 26 so they want me to basically stop being a burden on them and get a degree+job as they cant keep me or keep paying for me all my life.

If I end up leaving they will really make my life hell by claiming they spent so much money on a drop out.

My father used to ridicule me calling me illiterate, drop out, uneducated when I didn't join university. He only shut up when I started pursuing my course but even then causes issues to the amount of money he has to pay for fees and accommodation.

What can I do in such a situation? It's like I'm forced to do this as my family is extremely problematic. I know that in this mental condition I will score really poorly in my final year, if I manage to get through. Is therr anything that i can do or are all doors closed for me?
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Anonymous #1
#10
Report Thread starter 3 weeks ago
#10
I dont think I can apply for student finance as I'm non eu student??
(Original post by Anonymous)
Apply for student finance so your parents aren't paying for it.
It's not even like you're dropping out and abandoning uni altogether, you just don't like the one you're at. Your parents should not be treating you like that, it's really manipulative. You should do what makes you happy. Do some research, see what student finance you can get and look into other courses/unis would be my best advice.
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Anonymous #2
#11
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#11
Ah yeah, that is difficult. I'm afraid I'm not sure then. Are there any local universities that you like the look of that you can get finance for?
(Original post by Anonymous)
I dont think I can apply for student finance as I'm non eu student??
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Anonymous #1
#12
Report Thread starter 3 weeks ago
#12
Unfortunately my country doesnt have this system.

I'm literally stuck in a terrible situation
(Original post by Anonymous)
Ah yeah, that is difficult. I'm afraid I'm not sure then. Are there any local universities that you like the look of that you can get finance for?
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Liverpool Hope University
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#13
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Hi Anonymous,

I would recommend that you contact your universities well being team as soon as possible. They are experts in dealing with situations like yours and will be able to give you advice and support.

For example, we have a Student Development and Well-being department who are available to help with things such as; mental health, learning support, counselling, homesickness and anxiety support and much more. I'm sure your university will offer something similar and will be happy to help you.

Hope this helps

If you have any questions feel free to PM us!

Amy
(Original post by Anonymous)
I haven't tried to as I'm a bit scared of approaching them. I feel that they might think I'm too sentimental. I did try to join a few societies but most of them don't meet except one which had only 2 members. I did actively participate in that group but it wasn't much of a help since the society leader is never at SOAS as shes working person (shes graduating this year as well) and the other has her own set of friends.

So I really dont know what to do.
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deepXflange
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#14
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if the course you're on isn't "a proper" course and is one that you're gonna have a hard time finding a job for, then drop out.
on the other hand, if you can get a decent job out of it, get your head down, focus on you, maybe join a society and just do the work. I think 1 more year of stress and loneliness is worth the many successful years ahead of you
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