I feel so lonely

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Slunja
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#1
Report Thread starter 1 year ago
#1
So recently i have drifted apart from one of my bestest friends who i have known for 5 years. She was like a sister to me. Things went downhill when she got a boyfriend 3 years later and began ignoring me for him constantly. I realised it was her first relationship so i should take a step back give them space and allow her to grow with the person she loved so much.
In the meanwhile i was more open to a relationship and i had found a guy who actually got on very well with me. It wasnt until he too drifted away and started flirting with my bestfriend. At first i was quite hurt but i got over it. I began spending more time with my other friendship group but they seemed so fake and toxic and it seemed like they didnt want me around so i left.
I had always been really close to my sister as well until she got into a relationship and completely cut me out of her life.
I was friends with this one girl who was really supportive but wasnt the greatest influence. Everytime we would hang out we would either end up drunk, have had smoked a ton or end up with dodgy people.
Once my original best friend broke up with her boyfriend after 6 months, she came running back to me, of course i took her back into my life. She was my bestfriend after all.
Anyways, i started talking to this other guy a lot. I started having feelings for him and i am 99% sure he did too. Everyone would tell me to either get with him or that he wanted to get with me. With relationships im really slow because im afraid of commitment or getting hurt. Even my bestfriend said i should get with him. Not too long until him and my bestfriend started talking more and flirting. They are dating at the moment and i dont know what to feel. My bestfriend has cut me out of her life and has a new bestfriend before i even clocked. I still very much like my ex bestfriend but i wish i knew why she cut me out so easily, i was always there for her and supported her, made her laugh etc.
I felt like i had to share this because in the span of a 10 months so much has changed for me. Have you ever felt so lonely you didnt know what to do? how did you get out of it
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TX27
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heyy its okey to feel lonely at times everyone has those up and down times in their lives but what u should do is be the better person I know all these people have hurt u but u eed to try to emotionally detach urself from them because firstly some of them sound like bad influences and quite toxic and this isn't good for u and and u don't deserve being hurt again what u should do is if they do ever approach u or talk to u be you be kind and nice but just don't let them get too close to u cuz u''ll end up hurt and upset again. tbh I've experienced friendship ups and downs ive cut ppl off and made new fiends but what I have learnt along my journey is that no matter how close u claim ur bestest friend is to u or how many friends u have no one will be there for u like family will keep and stay close to family and then friends x u don't deserve to stay upset just try see the brighter side of things incidendts that occur like this actually in turn provide u with opporuinty to learn from mistakes n learn n reflect on them so u don't have to go thru the same again and also helps u by givng u time to separate n distance from others for some time an actually develop urself as a person n learn to love ur self more u may feel as if ur lonely but ur not x ps feel free to pm me at anytime if u want to talk im hereee (: I hope I helped in some way xxx
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Xarao
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No one owes you anything. Just because you chose to be their for her doesn't mean she is obliged to do the same. It's her life and her choice. Also the guy you had feelings for, well you decided to wait but your friend had the courage to do what she wants for her happiness meanwhile you didn't.
Last edited by Xarao; 1 year ago
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Slunja
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I beg to differ. I dont know what a friendship means to you but loyalty and support are definitely the 2 main things there should be. Kindness and support needs to be reciprocated. As for the guy i had feelings for, i see where you are coming from, but then again she shouldnt have jumped right into it since she knew i liked him.
(Original post by Xarao)
No one owes you anything. Just because you chose to be their for her doesn't mean she is obliged to do the same. It's her life and her choice. Also the guy you had feelings for, well you decided to wait but your friend had the courage to do what she wants for her happiness meanwhile you didn't.
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Slunja
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Wow that is really sweet of you! thanks for the support. I am trying to detach myself from all these people and am so ready to start a new chapter in my life very soon. I guess this has taught me a lesson and i should take the best out of it. Once again thanks so much!
(Original post by TX27)
heyy its okey to feel lonely at times everyone has those up and down times in their lives but what u should do is be the better person I know all these people have hurt u but u eed to try to emotionally detach urself from them because firstly some of them sound like bad influences and quite toxic and this isn't good for u and and u don't deserve being hurt again what u should do is if they do ever approach u or talk to u be you be kind and nice but just don't let them get too close to u cuz u''ll end up hurt and upset again. tbh I've experienced friendship ups and downs ive cut ppl off and made new fiends but what I have learnt along my journey is that no matter how close u claim ur bestest friend is to u or how many friends u have no one will be there for u like family will keep and stay close to family and then friends x u don't deserve to stay upset just try see the brighter side of things incidendts that occur like this actually in turn provide u with opporuinty to learn from mistakes n learn n reflect on them so u don't have to go thru the same again and also helps u by givng u time to separate n distance from others for some time an actually develop urself as a person n learn to love ur self more u may feel as if ur lonely but ur not x ps feel free to pm me at anytime if u want to talk im hereee (: I hope I helped in some way xxx
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username2013595
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(Original post by Xarao)
No one owes you anything. Just because you chose to be their for her doesn't mean she is obliged to do the same. It's her life and her choice. Also the guy you had feelings for, well you decided to wait but your friend had the courage to do what she wants for her happiness meanwhile you didn't.
True nobody owes anybody anything. But a friendship is a relationship and it should be reciprocated, there’s no need to try and seem like a hard headed realist, instead offer supportive advice.

...
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cheesecakelove
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(Original post by Slunja)
So recently i have drifted apart from one of my bestest friends who i have known for 5 years. She was like a sister to me. Things went downhill when she got a boyfriend 3 years later and began ignoring me for him constantly. I realised it was her first relationship so i should take a step back give them space and allow her to grow with the person she loved so much.
In the meanwhile i was more open to a relationship and i had found a guy who actually got on very well with me. It wasnt until he too drifted away and started flirting with my bestfriend. At first i was quite hurt but i got over it. I began spending more time with my other friendship group but they seemed so fake and toxic and it seemed like they didnt want me around so i left.
I had always been really close to my sister as well until she got into a relationship and completely cut me out of her life.
I was friends with this one girl who was really supportive but wasnt the greatest influence. Everytime we would hang out we would either end up drunk, have had smoked a ton or end up with dodgy people.
Once my original best friend broke up with her boyfriend after 6 months, she came running back to me, of course i took her back into my life. She was my bestfriend after all.
Anyways, i started talking to this other guy a lot. I started having feelings for him and i am 99% sure he did too. Everyone would tell me to either get with him or that he wanted to get with me. With relationships im really slow because im afraid of commitment or getting hurt. Even my bestfriend said i should get with him. Not too long until him and my bestfriend started talking more and flirting. They are dating at the moment and i dont know what to feel. My bestfriend has cut me out of her life and has a new bestfriend before i even clocked. I still very much like my ex bestfriend but i wish i knew why she cut me out so easily, i was always there for her and supported her, made her laugh etc.
I felt like i had to share this because in the span of a 10 months so much has changed for me. Have you ever felt so lonely you didnt know what to do? how did you get out of it
You won't be lonely forever but you need to think more carefully about the people you hang around with. Surround yourself with people who you have things in common with and who suit your personality, who genuinely like you and appreciate you for who you are. Don't be desperate to spend time with people who aren't truly your friends out of fear of being lonely - the toxic friends, bad influences, the false friends. It sounds like your best friend wasn't really a true friend if she ditched you the minute she got into a new relationship and only came back to you when they split up. If your best friend knew that you like the guy and she started flirting with him more, it sounds like she wasn't really considerate of your feelings as a friend.

Have more belief in your self-worth and build up your confidence. Move on from what has happened in the last ten months and find people who will be better friends to you.
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Xarao
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(Original post by Slunja)
I beg to differ. I dont know what a friendship means to you but loyalty and support are definitely the 2 main things there should be. Kindness and support needs to be reciprocated. As for the guy i had feelings for, i see where you are coming from, but then again she shouldnt have jumped right into it since she knew i liked him.
And how have things turned out for you?

Also I find it very childish when people start to use the word loyalty in friendship, everyone has their own lives to get on with. Right now you're too young to understand but maybe you will in the future.

Also, I didn't know you can reserve a guy just for yourself because you like him.
Last edited by Xarao; 1 year ago
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TX27
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(Original post by Slunja)
Wow that is really sweet of you! thanks for the support. I am trying to detach myself from all these people and am so ready to start a new chapter in my life very soon. I guess this has taught me a lesson and i should take the best out of it. Once again thanks so much!
no worries n im on here most of the time so feel free to message me if u need somone to talk to x
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Xarao
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(Original post by gelle)
True nobody owes anybody anything. But a friendship is a relationship and it should be reciprocated, there’s no need to try and seem like a hard headed realist, instead offer supportive advice.

...
I'm sorry for not sugercoating my words?

Rather be brutal and honest then give some lousy fake advice. That's me.
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Slunja
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(Original post by Xarao)
And how have things turned out for you?

Also I find it very childish when people start to use the word loyalty in friendship, everyone has their own lives to get on with. Right now you're too young to understand but maybe you will in the future.

Also, I didn't know you can reserve a guy just for yourself because you like him.
Whats wrong with being loyal? I agree people have their own lives to get on with, but at the same time you need to be there for the ones you love. The guy is definitely the least of my worries, but i understand why youre talking about "reserving" i didnt mean it like that. I should be more open minded and let my friend get with someone she likes. But i was hurt she didnt consider my feelings as per usual. But then again, i doubt you consider others feelings so you probably wont understand where i'm coming from
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Fermion.
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All I can say is, you need to throw your “friends” in the bin, move on and find better people to be friends with. You deserve better.
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Fermion.
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Your advice sucks. You must have pretty insensitive/*****y friends or no friends at all.
(Original post by Xarao)
I'm sorry for not sugercoating my words?

Rather be brutal and honest then give some lousy fake advice. That's me.
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Slunja
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#14
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Personally everyone else on this thread has given better advice than you have, youve just been brutal not even honest. Guess youre in denial
(Original post by Xarao)
I'm sorry for not sugercoating my words?

Rather be brutal and honest then give some lousy fake advice. That's me.
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dashie3524
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#15
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Okay, you deserve wayyyyyyy better. That friend deserves to stub their toe on a corner. She is not a friend, and that guy is just... he's just something. That friend doesn't deserve you. You deserve better. I am really sorry you went through that.
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