Paper 1 - Question 5 Watch

Badges: 3
Report Thread starter 1 week ago
I'm trying to improve my answer for descriptive writing, so if anyone can read it and give me feedback that would be cool.
I'll adapt the picture given in the exam into my story, so don't worry about that.
It's about a guy who stutters (can't speak properly and with speech disabilities) in a classroom, taken from my experience.
My answer:
Silence. The thing that cursed my entire existence. I was locked inside my quiet world; separated from the delight of creation. I had always loved the flowers and the birds, loved the sunlight and the clouds that drift by. I had always loved the way the leaves move in a breeze and that soft whispering sound they make, like nature loves to chatter too. Yet my stutter remains a veil over my skin, grey and cold.
Silently, I sit there, while everyone is unconfined from any difficulty. Students darting around the classroom, screaming and shouting. But one thing disturbs me. They are free to do whatever they want, while I remain shackled to my prison cell. The sadness drained through me. It travelled through every cell to reach the ground. I filtered it yet strangely enough, and I kept what there was destined for me.
“Silence,” the teacher shrieked, rushing into the classroom. It was a wretched-looking substitute teacher. Something notified me that this lesson wouldn’t end how I had anticipated. Her miserly fingers picked up the chalk, scraping it and writing random words about something to do with biology. The cacophonous screeching of the chalk filled my worn-out ears with despair. The sound of the chalk grew larger and larger. I couldn’t take it anymore.
“You!” the teacher screamed, jolting me out of my misery. My heart jumped to my throat as my brain registered the meaning of the jarring fracas. She was pointing at me, and me only. I looked around. My moment of realisation occurred. She had asked the whole class a question, and I was the only one without my hand up. I know I’m scared when I hear the taunting giggles, which let the bad memories cut loose their chains and invade my confidence, eroding the person I have built since those dark days. At that moment I just wished I hadn’t come to school today, as I did nothing more than making an embarrassment of myself, and letting my thoughts tumble again into the dark abyss.
I was too terrified to speak, let alone try. Panic surged through my system like a drug: rocketing through my veins, surging through my arteries and beating in my brain. Students were confused around me, chattering, whispering, laughing - but all noise was poison in my ears. I was trapped.
Palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy. Desperately, I attempted to grasp some form of courage from somewhere - but only managed to make the situation worse for myself. ‘What did she say,’ I was thinking, word after word. I tried to speak.
“S-S..” I tried to apologise. But the student’s satanic laughs were too loud over my faltering voice. I gave up. If today was the end of me, so be it. A mere moment separates me from my unavoidable doom - doom that was already blossoming like black-tinted roses, with their spikes piercing my heart.
‘Breathe,’ I said to myself. ‘It will end soon enough.’ All I could focus on was the frantic beating of my heart, perfectly in time with the precious seconds I had left before my ruin.

A bell rang. And it wasn’t any normal bell. It was the fire alarm. And that, was my most luckiest moment of my life. But yet, for the rest of my life, my stutter remains a veil on my skin, grey and cold.
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Report 1 week ago
hey there! impressive work, congrats ;D maybe Tolgarda can help you out. he's very good 💯

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