Help Urgent! Are these words rude/disrespectful??

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Anonymous #1
#1
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#1
"Phobic" and "hypocrite".

Someone said to me 'I'm sorry I cannot any longer associate myself with the LGBT community, I have to hide my feelings as I'm a Muslim and if that makes me a 'phobic' or a 'hypocrite' then I'm really sorry but that it who I am now.'

Shall I feel sorry for this person? Or am I meant to be offended? Because I am LGBT and I'm the only LGBT whom this person knows.

Thanks
I feel this person is trying to avoid their feelings and not wanting to accept them because they fear their community wont ever accept them.
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Anonymous #1
#2
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#2
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aaronK340
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#3
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#3
if you're asking other people how YOU should feel there's something going wrong there. You should feel sorry for them that they cant express their feelings because of their religion.
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Anonymous #1
#4
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#4
Ty.
And okay but they added the words 'hypocrite' and 'phobic'.
This is what they said to me 'I'm sorry I cannot any longer associate myself with the LGBT community, I have to hide my feelings as I'm a Muslim and if that makes me a 'phobic' or a 'hypocrite' then I'm really sorry but that is who I am now.'

And this would kind of seem offensive because they know I'm LGBT yet they are claiming that they've changed and are now phobic and a hypocrite
(Original post by aaronK340)
if you're asking other people how YOU should feel there's something going wrong there. You should feel sorry for them that they cant express their feelings because of their religion.
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FeteOnTheGround
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Someone said to me 'I'm sorry I cannot any longer associate myself with the LGBT community, I have to hide my feelings as I'm a Muslim and if that makes me a 'phobic' or a 'hypocrite' then I'm really sorry but that it who I am now.'
I think that 'phobic' and 'hypocrite' are words that they expect to be attacked with, because they're rejecting the LGBT community.
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aaronK340
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#6
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Well they clearly aren't phobic or a hypocrite if they've been part of that lgbt community. They're simply saying thats how you might see them.
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Anonymous #1
#7
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#7
Ahh ok.
I feel they still are apart of the LGBT community as they still have feelings for the same sex but there claiming that they want to get rid of these feeling because this is the only solution they think they can find inorder to not be conflicted between LGBT and Muslim community.

It's quite sad tbh
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FeteOnTheGround
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Ahh ok.
I feel they still are apart of the LGBT community as they still have feelings for the same sex but there claiming that they want to get rid of these feeling because this is the only solution they think they can find inorder to not be conflicted between LGBT and Muslim community.

It's quite sad tbh
Yeah that sounds really awful, my heard breaks for them.

As an aside, your friend may try being REALLY homophobic to cover up/try and remove homosexual feelings. It doesn't work. If it happens, try not to be caught in the cross-fire, and try to forgive him as much as you can.
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Anonymous #1
#9
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(Original post by FeteOnTheGround)
Yeah that sounds really awful, my heard breaks for them.

As an aside, your friend may try being REALLY homophobic to cover up/try and remove homosexual feelings. It doesn't work. If it happens, try not to be caught in the cross-fire, and try to forgive him as much as you can.
Okay thanks alot for the heads up. That may be the case and ofcourse I understand that it must be very difficult for them and I'm the only LGBT person whom they know so they tell me everything.
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Anonymous #1
#10
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#10
Ooohhh now this is what they've also said

"I don't want anyone's pity. I am okay. I don't want to be attracted to the same sex, I want to be 'normal'. And I want to get rid of how I feel because I can't be both and it makes me just hate myself even more."

what shall I say/do?? I'm confused myself!!
(Original post by FeteOnTheGround)
Yeah that sounds really awful, my heard breaks for them.

As an aside, your friend may try being REALLY homophobic to cover up/try and remove homosexual feelings. It doesn't work. If it happens, try not to be caught in the cross-fire, and try to forgive him as much as you can.
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Anonymous #2
#11
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#11
I mean it is what it is, it wasn't meant to cause offence to you, they were just saying what people may think of them. However, as a person who believes that the actions of homosexuality are a sin, I still have mates that are part of the LGBTQ+ community. They all know my opinions on it and I know their opinions on it and that's that. Hate the sin not the sinner. We're always going to disagree with something.
(Original post by Anonymous)
"Phobic" and "hypocrite".

Someone said to me 'I'm sorry I cannot any longer associate myself with the LGBT community, I have to hide my feelings as I'm a Muslim and if that makes me a 'phobic' or a 'hypocrite' then I'm really sorry but that it who I am now.'

Shall I feel sorry for this person? Or am I meant to be offended? Because I am LGBT and I'm the only LGBT whom this person knows.

Thanks
I feel this person is trying to avoid their feelings and not wanting to accept them because they fear their community wont ever accept them.
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FeteOnTheGround
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#12
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Oh man that's really hard.

He can't stop being gay, and he (presumably) doesn't want to leave his community.

I've had a quick google, and this has come up:
https://imaanlondon.wordpress.com/islam-sexuality/
http://www.mpvusa.org/lgbtqi-resources
https://www.hidayahlgbt.co.uk/

I don't know much about Islam really - is there a trusted Imam that he could talk to in private for support?

I get the feeling that you both a quite young. Make sure that your mental health is OK through this - it can't be easy to deal with.

(Original post by Anonymous)
Ooohhh now this is what they've also said

"I don't want anyone's pity. I am okay. I don't want to be attracted to the same sex, I want to be 'normal'. And I want to get rid of how I feel because I can't be both and it makes me just hate myself even more."

what shall I say/do?? I'm confused myself!!
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Talhawaseem02
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#13
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#13
Was this guy you are talking about complaining about this on TSR a couple of days ago ...... the phrases you said seem similar
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Anonymous #1
#14
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#14
Were both females haha
And yesss I have heard of this I will tell them about it!

Thank you
She has anxiety so I really dont know how shes coping!!
(Original post by FeteOnTheGround)
Oh man that's really hard.

He can't stop being gay, and he (presumably) doesn't want to leave his community.

I've had a quick google, and this has come up:
https://imaanlondon.wordpress.com/islam-sexuality/
http://www.mpvusa.org/lgbtqi-resources
https://www.hidayahlgbt.co.uk/

I don't know much about Islam really - is there a trusted Imam that he could talk to in private for support?

I get the feeling that you both a quite young. Make sure that your mental health is OK through this - it can't be easy to deal with.
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Anonymous #1
#15
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It's a female and I'm not sure, she probably has because shes so desperate to come to a solution.
(Original post by Talhawaseem02)
Was this guy you are talking about complaining about this on TSR a couple of days ago ...... the phrases you said seem similar
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Anonymous #1
#16
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#16
Ive told them about this.

They said to me:

"But honestly I have no other choice, I just want to live my life without this mental and physical exhaustion...And I don't know whether I'm making the right decision here or not but, trying to get rid of my feelings towards the same sex, I feel is where my internal peace lies. And over the last week this has not been easy for me but i've been on Muslim chat rooms and the whole of the community says that I'm in the wrong. So it cannot be me versus the rest of my community. This now is my mentality that I need to adopt: I just want to be straight, I don't want to be a homosexual. I want to have a choice, I want to have a say in who I'm attracted to. Is that too much to ask?
I cannot be a Muslim and then alongside something else which is believed to contradict my faith because then I'm not 100% Muslim and I cannot be living with that guilt.
I cannot explain to you how hard it's going to be for me to force myself to like the opposite sex but it's something I must do."

I'm just so upset for them, it's so sad!
I dont know how I can help!

(Original post by FeteOnTheGround)
Oh man that's really hard.

He can't stop being gay, and he (presumably) doesn't want to leave his community.

I've had a quick google, and this has come up:
https://imaanlondon.wordpress.com/islam-sexuality/
http://www.mpvusa.org/lgbtqi-resources
https://www.hidayahlgbt.co.uk/

I don't know much about Islam really - is there a trusted Imam that he could talk to in private for support?

I get the feeling that you both a quite young. Make sure that your mental health is OK through this - it can't be easy to deal with.
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FeteOnTheGround
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#17
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#17
Honestly, you are doing 100% of what you can by being there as a listening and understanding ear. You shouldn't try and do anything or push her one way or another. The best thing you can do is for heris for you to be her 'safe space' where she can talk freely, because she hasn't found that inside her community.


(Original post by Anonymous)
Ive told them about this.

They said to me:

"But honestly I have no other choice, I just want to live my life without this mental and physical exhaustion...And I don't know whether I'm making the right decision here or not but, trying to get rid of my feelings towards the same sex, I feel is where my internal peace lies. And over the last week this has not been easy for me but i've been on Muslim chat rooms and the whole of the community says that I'm in the wrong. So it cannot be me versus the rest of my community. This now is my mentality that I need to adopt: I just want to be straight, I don't want to be a homosexual. I want to have a choice, I want to have a say in who I'm attracted to. Is that too much to ask?
I cannot be a Muslim and then alongside something else which is believed to contradict my faith because then I'm not 100% Muslim and I cannot be living with that guilt.
I cannot explain to you how hard it's going to be for me to force myself to like the opposite sex but it's something I must do."

I'm just so upset for them, it's so sad!
I dont know how I can help!
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