Colleagues spreading rumours about me. What can I do?

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Anonymous #1
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I work as a tutor. I made an initial thread earlier this week but I can't find it now. If I find it later I'll link it below.
Basically, I've been working as a tutor for about 4 months now. The way this tutor service is set up is part classroom, part after school club with an area to play sports, a reading nook and food + drink. I'm one of 25-30 tutors, and I sit at a desk by the wall, and the walls are lined with other desks and tutors for various subjects. The students are high school and some college age so usually between 11 and 18, and there's about 75 students total, but we're getting more on a nearly daily basis.
I'm with one of the most popular subjects so I'm 1 of 3 tutors for my subject. In the 4 months I've been working there I've seen my coworkers mark work without reading it, ignore student's requests via email, and straight up play video games while telling the student they were looking things up. My coworkers are a mix of fellow uni students on summer break and retired teachers.
Students have come to realise that I actually care that they succeed. I answer emails promptly, I always have a new mock for them to try, I carve out time to see each student, and it takes me a little longer to mark stuff but I try and mark it accurately and fairly and provide extensive feedback.
Because of my attitude to work vs my colleague's attitude to work, students tend to ask me for help over them. If I'm at my desk and a colleague in my department is at their desk and we're both free, the student will come talk to me. I'm not meaning to be overconfident/arrogant, but this exact thing has happened many times now. The other day I was at my desk with a student, my colleague was at their desk not seeing anyone, and another student approached my desk and formed a queue to see me over what turned out to just be them wanting help clarifying something their teacher at school had said.
It looks like after this happened the manager asked the other teacher why the student went to me and not her, and she responded with something that implied that the students who come to me do so because they have a crush on me. When the manager inquired further she said that she wouldn't be surprised if there was a little more to it than that, and basically implied I was sleeping with my students.
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999tigger
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I work as a tutor. I made an initial thread earlier this week but I can't find it now. If I find it later I'll link it below.
Basically, I've been working as a tutor for about 4 months now. The way this tutor service is set up is part classroom, part after school club with an area to play sports, a reading nook and food + drink. I'm one of 25-30 tutors, and I sit at a desk by the wall, and the walls are lined with other desks and tutors for various subjects. The students are high school and some college age so usually between 11 and 18, and there's about 75 students total, but we're getting more on a nearly daily basis.
I'm with one of the most popular subjects so I'm 1 of 3 tutors for my subject. In the 4 months I've been working there I've seen my coworkers mark work without reading it, ignore student's requests via email, and straight up play video games while telling the student they were looking things up. My coworkers are a mix of fellow uni students on summer break and retired teachers.
Students have come to realise that I actually care that they succeed. I answer emails promptly, I always have a new mock for them to try, I carve out time to see each student, and it takes me a little longer to mark stuff but I try and mark it accurately and fairly and provide extensive feedback.
Because of my attitude to work vs my colleague's attitude to work, students tend to ask me for help over them. If I'm at my desk and a colleague in my department is at their desk and we're both free, the student will come talk to me. I'm not meaning to be overconfident/arrogant, but this exact thing has happened many times now. The other day I was at my desk with a student, my colleague was at their desk not seeing anyone, and another student approached my desk and formed a queue to see me over what turned out to just be them wanting help clarifying something their teacher at school had said.
It looks like after this happened the manager asked the other teacher why the student went to me and not her, and she responded with something that implied that the students who come to me do so because they have a crush on me. When the manager inquired further she said that she wouldn't be surprised if there was a little more to it than that, and basically implied I was sleeping with my students.
You are learning about group dynamic and working with colleagues. Your dedication shows them up, so they react.
Depends whether this is perm or temp?
You seem to be doing a very good job, but putting peoples noses out of joint as well.
Perhaps they ought to have a rule that they use the next free teacher? Anyway just be wary and check its only you who can answer their query.

I thought you had gotten the second thing wrong, but I would make a note of it date and time of what was said verbatim.

I would ignore it for now, but I wouldnt be happy if such a comment was made again. It all depends whether its temp and you just see it out or ts perm in which case you might want to get it stopped. You can ask the manager what they meant by it, but its a balancing act between surviving or pulling it all down. Just carry on doing a good job and note it down if they say anything else.

You dont really have many employment rights until youve been there 2 years, which means they can let you go. You might need the money more. If nothing else happens, then have a thick skin and rise above it.

Acas helpline number is 0300 123 1100. It is available Monday to Friday 8am-6pm
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by 999tigger)
You are learning about group dynamic and working with colleagues. Your dedication shows them up, so they react.
Depends whether this is perm or temp?
You seem to be doing a very good job, but putting peoples noses out of joint as well.
Perhaps they ought to have a rule that they use the next free teacher? Anyway just be wary and check its only you who can answer their query.

I thought you had gotten the second thing wrong, but I would make a note of it date and time of what was said verbatim.

I would ignore it for now, but I wouldnt be happy if such a comment was made again. It all depends whether its temp and you just see it out or ts perm in which case you might want to get it stopped. You can ask the manager what they meant by it, but its a balancing act between surviving or pulling it all down. Just carry on doing a good job and note it down if they say anything else.

You dont really have many employment rights until youve been there 2 years, which means they can let you go. You might need the money more. If nothing else happens, then have a thick skin and rise above it.

Acas helpline number is 0300 123 1100. It is available Monday to Friday 8am-6pm
It's a permanent job. Also, I got hired as a full time tutor, which I will be for the foreseeable future, while the other 2 on my subject (I'll call them J and T) are part time. Also J has said that he'll be quitting come September because he doesn't think he can balance it with his final year of uni, and when he said that T said that she wouldn't have any friends in our subject left now while looking directly at me.
I tried to make friends. I introduced myself to everyone on my first day, I've tried my best to be nice and I'm always smiling. I tried to invite people out for a drink after work but I usually get shut down. The only people who really seem to like me are 2 other students who are tutoring in other departments.
I try to direct students to J and T (I don't want to be rude or overly blunt to anyone but I do sort of nod my head towards the other tutor working and say that really anyone could answer their questions) but honestly I've watched T boast to me that she marked an entire stack of mock exams within 5 minutes of receiving them and mock me for taking my time. I know she did this because I watched her, and she didn't read them. A handful of students handed the mock to her, and without opening it, she wrote "B! Good job!" on the cover of every single one, and some of the students even saw her do that. They stopped going to her and started coming to me after that.

What was the second thing?

It's not a temp thing, it's (hopefully) permanent, it pays more than living wage and I want to go into teaching so this is really good for my CV as I'm still doing my BA now, and I really like this job. I think the manager went into that conversation with T in a joking way basically laughing and asking T if she'd done something to upset the students, as that student went straight past her, but he likes T and seems to trust her and probably wasn't expecting her to come out with "oh well they all have crushes on her". It was a couple days ago and I've been in every day since so I think if he was going to say something to me he would have by now, but I'm meant to have a monthly meeting with him and my next one is the 15th so there's still time. How do I deal with this if it comes up in the meeting?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by 999tigger)
I thought you had gotten the second thing wrong, but I would make a note of it date and time of what was said verbatim.
(Original post by Anonymous)
What was the second thing?
If the second thing is where she implied I saw sleeping with them then there's a chance I misheard, plus this is like 2 days later so there's some paraphrasing here, but what I got was basically
Student *walks past T and waits for me to be free to talk*
Manager (laughing): Did you do something to p*ss them [the students] off?
T: No I guess they just all like her more
Manager: why do you think that?
T: they're boys, aren't they?
Manager: T, what are you saying?
T: she's pretty of course they like her more. and she likes the attention, wouldn't be surprised if she was offering some after hours tutoring on top

Of the total 75 ish students about 45 are boys and the rest girls and I'm equally popular with both groups. I haven't seen all of the students yet but I'd say I've dealt with a roughly equal number of both. The students in the above situation were both boys, which is probably what prompted that little exchange. I'm not oblivious or an idiot and I know her last thing might be read as innocent but not to be that person, it's not what she said it's the way she said it. Honestly, if I wasn't the subject of that conversation and didn't know the person it was about then I'd assume that whoever they were talking about was sleeping with students.
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Anonymous #1
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https://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/sho....php?t=5991844
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Mustafa0605
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(Original post by Anonymous)
It's a permanent job. Also, I got hired as a full time tutor, which I will be for the foreseeable future, while the other 2 on my subject (I'll call them J and T) are part time. Also J has said that he'll be quitting come September because he doesn't think he can balance it with his final year of uni, and when he said that T said that she wouldn't have any friends in our subject left now while looking directly at me.
I tried to make friends. I introduced myself to everyone on my first day, I've tried my best to be nice and I'm always smiling. I tried to invite people out for a drink after work but I usually get shut down. The only people who really seem to like me are 2 other students who are tutoring in other departments.
I try to direct students to J and T (I don't want to be rude or overly blunt to anyone but I do sort of nod my head towards the other tutor working and say that really anyone could answer their questions) but honestly I've watched T boast to me that she marked an entire stack of mock exams within 5 minutes of receiving them and mock me for taking my time. I know she did this because I watched her, and she didn't read them. A handful of students handed the mock to her, and without opening it, she wrote "B! Good job!" on the cover of every single one, and some of the students even saw her do that. They stopped going to her and started coming to me after that.

What was the second thing?

It's not a temp thing, it's (hopefully) permanent, it pays more than living wage and I want to go into teaching so this is really good for my CV as I'm still doing my BA now, and I really like this job. I think the manager went into that conversation with T in a joking way basically laughing and asking T if she'd done something to upset the students, as that student went straight past her, but he likes T and seems to trust her and probably wasn't expecting her to come out with "oh well they all have crushes on her". It was a couple days ago and I've been in every day since so I think if he was going to say something to me he would have by now, but I'm meant to have a monthly meeting with him and my next one is the 15th so there's still time. How do I deal with this if it comes up in the meeting?
You should carry on trying your best because while the other careless tutors may eventually receive complaints from students and their parents, you are doing the right thing. Also regarding what the manager said, if I was you, I would straight up just ignore their comment or if they repeatedly say this, maybe you’d ought to tell them that it’s not true.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Mustafa0605)
You should carry on trying your best because while the other careless tutors may eventually receive complaints from students and their parents, you are doing the right thing. Also regarding what the manager said, if I was you, I would straight up just ignore their comment or if they repeatedly say this, maybe you’d ought to tell them that it’s not true.
They sort of have already. It's not just my subject, but all 25-30 tutors across the subjects, aside from me and a small handful of others, have had complaints against them. Usually that the parents have been paying for the student to go to the tutoring sessions for X amount of time and no improvement. One incident with T was just a couple of weeks ago - IDK how valid this claim was - a student got an essay back and their teacher said it was plagiarised. He says that T helped him with the phrasing and told him what to write, and the mum came in and yelled at T. We weren't properly open, thankfully, so no students saw, but both me and T were there so I saw everything. T says that she never saw the essay, but I remember that it was on Of Mice and Men and that I'd heard her talking about the main characters from OMAM a few weeks ago, although I don't know which student either event concerned. From what I can tell there's never been consequences for any complaints.
If the manager does follow up with me about what T said about me how do I best tell him that she's lying? I'm a pretty new hire and she's been there since day one, which was about 4 years ago, give or take a few months. I mean obviously it's not true and I won't hesitate to tell anyone who asks just that but surely he'll ask how she came to that conclusion?
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999tigger
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(Original post by Anonymous)
If the second thing is where she implied I saw sleeping with them then there's a chance I misheard, plus this is like 2 days later so there's some paraphrasing here, but what I got was basically
Student *walks past T and waits for me to be free to talk*
Manager (laughing): Did you do something to p*ss them [the students] off?
T: No I guess they just all like her more
Manager: why do you think that?
T: they're boys, aren't they?
Manager: T, what are you saying?
T: she's pretty of course they like her more. and she likes the attention, wouldn't be surprised if she was offering some after hours tutoring on top

Of the total 75 ish students about 45 are boys and the rest girls and I'm equally popular with both groups. I haven't seen all of the students yet but I'd say I've dealt with a roughly equal number of both. The students in the above situation were both boys, which is probably what prompted that little exchange. I'm not oblivious or an idiot and I know her last thing might be read as innocent but not to be that person, it's not what she said it's the way she said it. Honestly, if I wasn't the subject of that conversation and didn't know the person it was about then I'd assume that whoever they were talking about was sleeping with students.
You have three choices.
1. Thick skin and ignore it/ laugh it off. It could continue or they get bored.
2. Raise the issue with the manager and ask them why they keep insinuating it? It could be a joke or it could be covert bullying. Ask them politely to stop. Make a note of what was said.
3. Raise the issue with higher management- This is semi nuclear and will change the dynamic of the group as they will take it as snitching. If you are going to do this, then be sure to have decent evidence. Theres 2-3 of them and only one of you.


Assess whether you are being overly sensitive. Imo its a bit preposterous that its their idea of a joke, but also to cover their own embarrassment that they prefer you. Tbh you need to be smart and realise boys are full of a lot of hormones as well.

Be aware that 2 and 3 have consequences, especially if handled poorly. You have very limited employment rights. Unless you have a recording they are going to cover for each other.

Talk to ACAS.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by 999tigger)
You have three choices.
1. Thick skin and ignore it/ laugh it off. It could continue or they get bored.
2. Raise the issue with the manager and ask them why they keep insinuating it? It could be a joke or it could be covert bullying. Ask them politely to stop. Make a note of what was said.
3. Raise the issue with higher management- This is semi nuclear and will change the dynamic of the group as they will take it as snitching. If you are going to do this, then be sure to have decent evidence. Theres 2-3 of them and only one of you.


Assess whether you are being overly sensitive. Imo its a bit preposterous that its their idea of a joke, but also to cover their own embarrassment that they prefer you. Tbh you need to be smart and realise boys are full of a lot of hormones as well.

Be aware that 2 and 3 have consequences, especially if handled poorly. You have very limited employment rights. Unless you have a recording they are going to cover for each other.

Talk to ACAS.
As far as I know it's only been suggested the one time and that was the conversation with the manager and T. The manager is also a tutor, as is the owner. The owner would be the next up in the chain of command, but I don't want to do all that. I have better things to do, to be honest, than deal with this. I'm just hoping the manager drops it and he doesn't escalate it up the chain himself.
I think the manager went into the conversation jokingly expecting T to joke in response and then T just sort of went in for the kill so I'm not sure what he'll do with it. I know they're friends but he's the one who hired me, and he's usually friendly with me. I think he might have been humouring T but I haven't known him that long.
I know teenagers have hormones, but I honestly don't think that any of my students have crushes on me. I think that they're paying £10 an hour, some out of their own pocket, some by parents, to learn and they want to actually improve.

Honestly, I am being overly sensitive about this but it really does upset me. I had to leave my last job because my manager made a pass at me and I consoled myself with the fact that I hated that job anyway, it was never going to be a permanent job and I was free to get a job I really loved, and now I have this job that I really care about. I work hard, I love what I do, and I go to great lengths to stay professional and not put myself in any potentially compromising situations, while my colleagues bleed the clock and couldn't care less if these students actually succeed. And their response to seeing my effort, and seeing how people react to me putting in effort, is to accuse me of something I certainly did not do, and to say that I'm using my looks to get ahead or win favour with the students is degrading at best and accusing me of something that's literally illegal at worst. I'm definitely overly sensitive, but it's just so frustrating to hear my coworker suggest to my manager that I'm a good tutor, not because I'm a good teacher, but because I'm sleeping with my underage students. I'm just not doing that, and if the wrong person heard her little joke I could get in serious legal trouble all because she'd rather read a magazine than grade a mock. It's upsetting. I feel like every time I try and take a step forward, professionally, there's always going to be stupid little rumours holding me back. I thought I'd left that behind when I finished high school but here I am, an adult, running damage control on schoolyard taunts.

I'll shoot ACAS an email or give them a ring tomorrow, but I'm at work from 7am-7pm. I could probably step out during school hours as that's when the kids aren't there and it's more of a setting up time and we're not chained to our desks like we are when the students are there, but I don't really want my coworkers to know I rang because I don't want to be the one to escalate this.
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999tigger
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(Original post by Anonymous)
As far as I know it's only been suggested the one time and that was the conversation with the manager and T. The manager is also a tutor, as is the owner. The owner would be the next up in the chain of command, but I don't want to do all that. I have better things to do, to be honest, than deal with this. I'm just hoping the manager drops it and he doesn't escalate it up the chain himself.
I think the manager went into the conversation jokingly expecting T to joke in response and then T just sort of went in for the kill so I'm not sure what he'll do with it. I know they're friends but he's the one who hired me, and he's usually friendly with me. I think he might have been humouring T but I haven't known him that long.
I know teenagers have hormones, but I honestly don't think that any of my students have crushes on me. I think that they're paying £10 an hour, some out of their own pocket, some by parents, to learn and they want to actually improve.

Honestly, I am being overly sensitive about this but it really does upset me. I had to leave my last job because my manager made a pass at me and I consoled myself with the fact that I hated that job anyway, it was never going to be a permanent job and I was free to get a job I really loved, and now I have this job that I really care about. I work hard, I love what I do, and I go to great lengths to stay professional and not put myself in any potentially compromising situations, while my colleagues bleed the clock and couldn't care less if these students actually succeed. And their response to seeing my effort, and seeing how people react to me putting in effort, is to accuse me of something I certainly did not do, and to say that I'm using my looks to get ahead or win favour with the students is degrading at best and accusing me of something that's literally illegal at worst. I'm definitely overly sensitive, but it's just so frustrating to hear my coworker suggest to my manager that I'm a good tutor, not because I'm a good teacher, but because I'm sleeping with my underage students. I'm just not doing that, and if the wrong person heard her little joke I could get in serious legal trouble all because she'd rather read a magazine than grade a mock. It's upsetting. I feel like every time I try and take a step forward, professionally, there's always going to be stupid little rumours holding me back. I thought I'd left that behind when I finished high school but here I am, an adult, running damage control on schoolyard taunts.

I'll shoot ACAS an email or give them a ring tomorrow, but I'm at work from 7am-7pm. I could probably step out during school hours as that's when the kids aren't there and it's more of a setting up time and we're not chained to our desks like we are when the students are there, but I don't really want my coworkers to know I rang because I don't want to be the one to escalate this.
I think you are being overly sensitive and feeding your own anxiety.
They will be gone soon.
Keep a record of what was said.

I doubt anyone cares or thinks it is happening, but if it covers their own slacking or they feel it winds you up, then that encourages them i.e part of you is playing into their hands. Acas will just tell you that you dont really have any rights, but its a 3rd party.

They can let you go for no reason without any right or wrong. Bullies only try it on with people they think they can get away with it. I would just smile and laugh my way out of it rather than show its winding you up. I think thats the easiest way to get through with minimal damage and effort.
You might want to look up and get some assertiveness training as well. As you appreciate not all people are nice and not all play by the rules.
Try and chill plus have more going on outside so you can just leave work where it is.
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999tigger
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(Original post by Anonymous)
It's a permanent job. Also, I got hired as a full time tutor, which I will be for the foreseeable future, while the other 2 on my subject (I'll call them J and T) are part time. Also J has said that he'll be quitting come September because he doesn't think he can balance it with his final year of uni, and when he said that T said that she wouldn't have any friends in our subject left now while looking directly at me.
I tried to make friends. I introduced myself to everyone on my first day, I've tried my best to be nice and I'm always smiling. I tried to invite people out for a drink after work but I usually get shut down. The only people who really seem to like me are 2 other students who are tutoring in other departments.
I try to direct students to J and T (I don't want to be rude or overly blunt to anyone but I do sort of nod my head towards the other tutor working and say that really anyone could answer their questions) but honestly I've watched T boast to me that she marked an entire stack of mock exams within 5 minutes of receiving them and mock me for taking my time. I know she did this because I watched her, and she didn't read them. A handful of students handed the mock to her, and without opening it, she wrote "B! Good job!" on the cover of every single one, and some of the students even saw her do that. They stopped going to her and started coming to me after that.

What was the second thing?

It's not a temp thing, it's (hopefully) permanent, it pays more than living wage and I want to go into teaching so this is really good for my CV as I'm still doing my BA now, and I really like this job. I think the manager went into that conversation with T in a joking way basically laughing and asking T if she'd done something to upset the students, as that student went straight past her, but he likes T and seems to trust her and probably wasn't expecting her to come out with "oh well they all have crushes on her". It was a couple days ago and I've been in every day since so I think if he was going to say something to me he would have by now, but I'm meant to have a monthly meeting with him and my next one is the 15th so there's still time. How do I deal with this if it comes up in the meeting?
I would just say you enjoy the job, put a lot of effort into making sure you help the students and thats its rewarding to see them improve.
Up to you but you can mention about the regular comments of students having crushes and its become repetitive/boring. You believe you work hard at helping students and show them how to improve their marks, which they seem to appreciate. Leave it at that . If you push it too hard you are making it too much of an issue rather than it being a bit of a dull annoyance and you also dont want to emphasise you doing your job as a contrast to others not doing theirs. That would be a way of being a bit more assertive, fighting your corner, but not to the extent it isolates you.
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Bang Outta Order
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QUIT. BEFORE THEY SACK YOU. IT WILL BE WORSE IF THEY DO.

Managers are not their job description. They wear the hat but they act like cowards, mostly,wanting to appease and silence the rage of grieving, disgruntled or cliquish employees, even if the employees are not individually liked or appreciated. If you are on the outs or the brunt of any rumours or adversity LEAVE. You are NOT a student or apprentice or volunteer worker. Your JOB shouldn't be about LEARNING how to deal with groups. This is your livelihood and work record. Once they start mistreating you, LEAVE. trust me. just get a job BEFORE you leave. ONCE you get the job, LEAVE. this is what I was TOLD to do TWO days before I was sacked, while many job offers that I WANTED popped up and i turned them down saying "i have a job." Get out of there if more than one person troubles you. They WILL LIE on you. They WILL. I did not how evil and nasty people were, how out of hand they let rumours get and swept them at the manager's door behind your back, pressuring the manager to ot want to feel incompetent. If they're nasty enough, they wont tell everyone to stop. they will just get rid of the "problem" that being you. Trust me. If it keeps happening, you need to leave because honestly and no offense, your job doesnt sound very good, it sounds weirdly set up and irregular.
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homemadeclock
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jesus christ the tutor game is savage
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by 999tigger)
I would just say you enjoy the job, put a lot of effort into making sure you help the students and thats its rewarding to see them improve.
Up to you but you can mention about the regular comments of students having crushes and its become repetitive/boring. You believe you work hard at helping students and show them how to improve their marks, which they seem to appreciate. Leave it at that . If you push it too hard you are making it too much of an issue rather than it being a bit of a dull annoyance and you also dont want to emphasise you doing your job as a contrast to others not doing theirs. That would be a way of being a bit more assertive, fighting your corner, but not to the extent it isolates you.
(Original post by 999tigger)
I think you are being overly sensitive and feeding your own anxiety.
They will be gone soon.
Keep a record of what was said.

I doubt anyone cares or thinks it is happening, but if it covers their own slacking or they feel it winds you up, then that encourages them i.e part of you is playing into their hands. Acas will just tell you that you dont really have any rights, but its a 3rd party.

They can let you go for no reason without any right or wrong. Bullies only try it on with people they think they can get away with it. I would just smile and laugh my way out of it rather than show its winding you up. I think thats the easiest way to get through with minimal damage and effort.
You might want to look up and get some assertiveness training as well. As you appreciate not all people are nice and not all play by the rules.
Try and chill plus have more going on outside so you can just leave work where it is.
T is staying, it's J that's going. But I get what you're saying.
I'm aware I'm overly sensitive to it and I'm trying to just sort of grit my teeth and bear it, but it does irritate me. I'll just ignore it. I've not actually said anything to T in person over this so unless there was something in my expression then she doesn't even know I heard her.
I know I'm getting repetitive and overthinking but I am worried something might happen with the manager in my meeting with him. If he asks about it what do I say? "I've not done anything with any student ever and I have no clue why T said that"? I don't want to ruffle any feathers but I'm genuinely concerned less about the gossip and more about what happens if T has somehow actually convinced the manager that I'm sleeping with my students, who are 11-18 and I'm 20 so you can see why him believing it might get me in trouble. ACAS confirmed that I have basically no rights here until I'm employed 2 years which is... fun.
I value the job more than the stupid gossip, so I'll just get on with it. I'm an adult, I can deal.
(Original post by Bang Outta Order)
QUIT. BEFORE THEY SACK YOU. IT WILL BE WORSE IF THEY DO.

Managers are not their job description. They wear the hat but they act like cowards, mostly,wanting to appease and silence the rage of grieving, disgruntled or cliquish employees, even if the employees are not individually liked or appreciated. If you are on the outs or the brunt of any rumours or adversity LEAVE. You are NOT a student or apprentice or volunteer worker. Your JOB shouldn't be about LEARNING how to deal with groups. This is your livelihood and work record. Once they start mistreating you, LEAVE. trust me. just get a job BEFORE you leave. ONCE you get the job, LEAVE. this is what I was TOLD to do TWO days before I was sacked, while many job offers that I WANTED popped up and i turned them down saying "i have a job." Get out of there if more than one person troubles you. They WILL LIE on you. They WILL. I did not how evil and nasty people were, how out of hand they let rumours get and swept them at the manager's door behind your back, pressuring the manager to ot want to feel incompetent. If they're nasty enough, they wont tell everyone to stop. they will just get rid of the "problem" that being you. Trust me. If it keeps happening, you need to leave because honestly and no offense, your job doesnt sound very good, it sounds weirdly set up and irregular.
(Original post by homemadeclock)
jesus christ the tutor game is savage
I've only been there 4 months, I feel like I should give it a bit more time? So far the only issues I've had have been with T. The others haven't been super friendly but it seems explainable, and I do have friends there, but only 2. I'm going to remind the students that I'm not the only tutor for this subject. As it's one of the core subjects, on any given shift at any given time there are 2 tutors on duty. If there's another situation where I'm with a student and another student waits for me to be free, I'll just send them to T or J, whoever is on the other desk.
I'm an adult, I'm sick of T's nonsense, but she's not the only person I work with, plus with J going in a couple of months they're looking for someone else, and I have a friend who's in the running to be J's replacement, so I might even have another friend joining me soon. I can't be asked to cover for T as far as her issues go, and I'm not going to get sucked in to this drama. I have parents and students and coworkers who like me and would all vouch for me if I needed them to, and T seems to be the only person who has questioned my professionalism.
I don't know if the manager took what T said seriously, and if he did then I'll just tell him it's BS. While I don't know him as well as T does, he seems cool and the parents like me. Kids have been getting higher grades in my subject over the last 4 months and I've had parents ask for me by name to commend my work with their children. Plus of the 75ish kids maybe 20 or so have one form or another of a learning related issue and I have a qualification in helping students with learning disabilities specifically, so I'm good with that group.
The set up is admittedly very weird. I've worked as a tutor before, but never with a set up like this. My previous experience was for an online service and an in person one, and both were awful. I didn't have a guaranteed minimum hours per week, I'd go weeks with no hours, I usually had wifi issues with the online tutoring and sometimes the connection was so bad I'd spend more time trying to get on the session than I would in the session, and as a result I wouldn't be paid, and with the in person I'd have to go to them and would get paid £10 an hour, I'd spend £6 on a return bus ticket just to get there and back, plus the agency took 20% so I'd make a profit of £2 and lose my entire afternoon. With this new tutor service and setup I'm getting 40-42 hours a week at £12 an hour. I had someone look over my contract when I signed up and so long as I'm not in any legal trouble that could make them look bad, between my performance so far and the terms of the contract it would probably cost them more to fire me than it would to keep me on.

I'm gonna get over T's little jabs, and move on with my day. Honestly, I have other things I could be doing with my lunch hour. If my manager asks in our meeting then I'll tell him she's talking out of her a**e and if it goes beyond that then I'll maintain that I'm a professional and also have the common sense required to not do anything like what she suggested. If I'm wrong about the contract and it does look like they're about to show me the door, then I'll quit, but it's not the end of the world if I lose this job, although it would suck to go back to waitressing after this. My only interest is making sure T doesn't get mefor something I haven't even done.
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Bang Outta Order
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#15
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All right well I said what I had to say. Don't underestimate sabotage, it's a killer. A silent one. One day you'll have long missed your chance to clear things up but you're being called by the manager and get terminated. All because of one snakey sneak. Just keep an eye out.
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999tigger
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(Original post by Anonymous)
T is staying, it's J that's going. But I get what you're saying.
I'm aware I'm overly sensitive to it and I'm trying to just sort of grit my teeth and bear it, but it does irritate me. I'll just ignore it. I've not actually said anything to T in person over this so unless there was something in my expression then she doesn't even know I heard her.
I know I'm getting repetitive and overthinking but I am worried something might happen with the manager in my meeting with him. If he asks about it what do I say? "I've not done anything with any student ever and I have no clue why T said that"? I don't want to ruffle any feathers but I'm genuinely concerned less about the gossip and more about what happens if T has somehow actually convinced the manager that I'm sleeping with my students, who are 11-18 and I'm 20 so you can see why him believing it might get me in trouble. ACAS confirmed that I have basically no rights here until I'm employed 2 years which is... fun.
I value the job more than the stupid gossip, so I'll just get on with it. I'm an adult, I can deal.
Yes you are being oversensitive. Your problem is that you are giving the suggestion far more credibility than it deserves and then working it up into something it isnt. You arent handling it well or keeping it in proportion. Most other people would just brush or laugh it off? Why? because you know it has no basis in fact.

If you cant keep your anxiety in check, then raise it yourself in the meeting or with the manager, but without being confrontational. This is more about office politics and your own self confidence/ anxiety.
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