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    Anon please as i feel quite pathetic having to post this.

    I just really despise myself sometimes, i don't know why. I feel like i am wrong somehow in everything i do, i hate myself for the things i say and do. I might make a joke and then feel so stupid for saying something dumb.
    I try to be a good person but i can't help think that i am not a good enough friend, and that i let people down and that i don't deserve anything good that i have, and i can't understand why anyone would want to be friends with me, because i think that if i wasn't me i would hate myself.
    It makes me feel so uncomfortable when people compliment me because it feels so fake and i am scared that i will somehow be found out one day, and even the people who care about me will discover that i am a terrible person. I don't mean that i have done anything bad that i feel guilty about, its more like i feel rotten inside, like there is just nothing good or likeable about me.

    I feel so lonely because i can't let people get too close to me in case they begin to see me as i see myself and hate me like i hate myself.
    I just want to find a way to loathe myself a little less, because i don't see how anyone else can ever like me if i don't even like myself.
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    What exactly do you hate about yourself?? Nobody should have to hate themselves
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    I'm in a similar situation to you. Sometimes I feel pathetic and I don't deserve the bed I sleep on (so I don't sleep), the food the I eat (so I don't eat) etc... generally just feel like I'm not worth anything.

    I think for me, there's a few things that have helped reduced that type of negative thinking that I do. First thing is knowing that there are other people that have the same feelings about themselves as you do, so you have someone to relate to. Secondly, I had to find someone to talk to, for me it was a combination of a counselor, a number of different doctors, a psychologist and close friends. Lastly, and is what I feel was the most important thing for me to start to feel a bit better, and that was being put on antidepressants. Been on them for about 6 months now and they have started to help.
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    I feel a little like that sometimes too. I think it's because you have to find yourself properly, and know what you want to be, before you can be happy enough about who you are. Basically i think we'll stop worrying about such things in time

    Don't feel "pathetic" - these sorts of worries are perfectly normal =]
    A good friend loves you for who you are anyway, so it might be worth a little chat with a good and trusted friend.

    You're not being fake at all, everyone has their little insecurites about themselves, and confusions about life and character. Don't worry, you'll get over it soon enough

    uth =]
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    *hugs OP* I do know how you feel, but I want to tell you now to try and see some good in yourself, because hating yourself is not healthy at all. Not enough people love themselves or say nice things about themselves in society - why do you think there are so many programmes like Gok Wan's and Trinny and Susannah's where they're trying to make people feel better about themselves!

    These are really simple (and you might think stupid) exercises but they're worth a shot if you want to start by being positive about yourself and to start loving yourself a bit - or at least hating yourself less.

    First off, write at least one good thing about yourself. I would say write five or ten, or as many as possible! But sometimes writing one good thing is enough for some people. Write as many as you can though, what's good about your personality, your appearance, what skills do you have?

    My R.E teacher told everyone in our class to write "I am wonderful" on a piece of paper and stick it to our mirrors. We were to look into that mirror and believe what that piece of paper said. Try it for as long as possible, even if you don't believe it at first, just tell yourself that you *are* wonderful.

    I think I had it up for a week, not taking it very seriously, but my mother's friends all commented on how positive and great an idea it was.

    I really hope you gain some self-esteem and some respect for yourself. Have some faith, because the things you say aren't stupid, you shouldn't feel bad about having a voice and opinion Just be yourself because that's what others love you for.
    xo
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Anon please as i feel quite pathetic having to post this.

    I just really despise myself sometimes, i don't know why. I feel like i am wrong somehow in everything i do, i hate myself for the things i say and do. I might make a joke and then feel so stupid for saying something dumb.
    I try to be a good person but i can't help think that i am not a good enough friend, and that i let people down and that i don't deserve anything good that i have, and i can't understand why anyone would want to be friends with me, because i think that if i wasn't me i would hate myself.
    It makes me feel so uncomfortable when people compliment me because it feels so fake and i am scared that i will somehow be found out one day, and even the people who care about me will discover that i am a terrible person. I don't mean that i have done anything bad that i feel guilty about, its more like i feel rotten inside, like there is just nothing good or likeable about me.

    I feel so lonely because i can't let people get too close to me in case they begin to see me as i see myself and hate me like i hate myself.
    I just want to find a way to loathe myself a little less, because i don't see how anyone else can ever like me if i don't even like myself.
    Wow. I can relate to that. Or, at least, could. I was exactly the same in my teens. To an extent, I still guard myself now as well.

    All I can say is - and I know you'll find it very hard to believe - I honestly and totally believe what you think about yourself is not true. I'm speaking from experience here.

    See, other people see the good qualities we can't see in ourselves.
    All of us to some extent - and some far more than others - do something bad and focus on it. I did something I wasn't proud of the other day, and have spent the best part of the week sitting here saying pretty much what you've said. Then I reminded myself it wasn't true and everyone screws up now and again. It doesn't make you a bad person. Honestly. I have no idea why my friends are talking to me and supporting me (although what I did doesn't affect them), but then realised that they must see something I can't.

    I think it comes with having to be with ourselves 24/7. We see ALL the little things we did or said wrong. Our friends don't. Or they forget them. The number of times I bring up something like "remember when I trod on the headteacher's foot?" or "remember when I shouted out BOGIES so loud on the field everyone looked at me?" and they can't remember - unless it was within the last week. But I can. And I dwelt on them for so long because I felt so stupid or bad. But everyone else forgets. OK, they may think it's funny and laugh for a bit. But they soon forget. They have their own "daft moments" to worry about.

    Unfortunately, I can not give much advice, sine I found it was a gradual process to change.

    When people compliment you, don't brush it off / ignore it / say you don't deserve it. Remember it! Beleieve me, people wouldn't give you compliments unless it was true. I still don't know how to handle them, but I've come to the conclusion that the person actually means it. Or - if they don't - it's still not a bad or egotist thing to hear something nice about yourself.

    I still hate silences - especially the awkward type (which every silence is to me!). So I try and say something profound or crack a joke which will envitably result in more silence and a look of "did you really just say that?!?!" from everyone around. Man, I could die lol. I keep telling myself "you shouldn't have said that Claire! You're SUCH an idiot!"
    But again, it's only *you* that will remember that. And you only remember it because you reflect on it so much. Everyone else would have forgotten about it within 15minutes or so. Honestly!

    Personally, I found my change from that was gradual and for me leaving school / sixth form and then going to university was perhaps the best thing to cure it.

    I am now far more happy in myself and am who I want to be. I wouldn't change anything about me for the world - not even my stage of feeling like that, since it made me who I am.
    But I do still have bad days and moments, though I know they will pass.

    My advice is to find something about you that you like and focus on that. When people pay you a compliment, write it down. Keep a record of the nice things people say and look at it when you feel your worst. Even though you might not believe it (especially when you feel down), they are true no matter whatever else is said and done.


    *hugs*

    It will get better. Talking about it and letting it out really does help!
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    I know how you feel. My only advice is to fake liking yourself for a while, it came naturally after that for me. It sounds stupid but that's the only thing that worked out okay for me.

    [hugsies] ~ because it sucks and you'd be surprised how high people hold you in their estimations, honestly. Don't think people just say nice things to you because it makes them feel good (I used to.... )
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    I think annarchy is right> Everyone goes through a stage where they dislike themselves. Sometimes if you fake liking yourself, you might actually start to. Worth a try.xx
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    I went through some similar feelings a few years ago. All I can really suggest is that you talk to someone about it. The fact you've been able to come on here and tell us this is a step in the right direction. I know it's difficult but honestly, once you are able to talk about how you feel you can start looking at how to tackle feeling like this.

    Also, I really like the idea of writing down the good things about yourself! Imay have to try that

    Good luck, and PM me if you feel like you need someone to talk to xx
 
 
 
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