"S/he'd be perfect if only it wasn't for..."

Ever come across this situation?

It happened to me this evening - met a lovely girl at a social event and is lovely in almost every way, only on the issue of religion we seem to be totally incompatible. :frown:

Basically she's an evangelical Christian (in a really big way - it's her full time job as an outreach worker) and the idea of evangelical anything has me running for the hills - especially Christianity after a very bad experience with it throughout childhood, thus making me otherwise ... "reserved" towards anyone or anything to do with organised religion.

What are your experiences with this - ever met someone who seems idea but for something that seems like or is a major incompatibility? Have you and an other half managed to get over this to have a fulfilling relationship? If so, how?

Reply 1

cascadingstylez

18

Dont let religion stop you. This sounds silly.

If you like the girl and understand its her job and she likes you back then it can work. Obviously if she is trying to convert you on your first date there is a problem but if 2 people are open to undertand each others opinions then i can't see a problem.

Reply 2

Lizsco3

1

Yes. I'm in that situation now. The guy I'm seeing would be perfect if only it wasn't for...his ability to annoy me so much! It's early days, so I don't know if things will work out, but if things keep going the way they are...

I don't think religion should come between you. Unless it comes before your relationship, and bothers you that much.

Reply 3

Somebody

1

I'm sorry to say that evangelical Christians don't always want to go for non-Christians because of totally different outlooks on life.

My church is rather evengelical (I have no problem in saying I'm not in the same sense and hate the idea of talking to strangers about Christianity...) and although would never say "only go out with Christians", it is encouraged.
But I can see why in a way... Christians have different priorities in life (or at least evangelical Christians do) and I can't say I know many non-Christian guys who are willing to be happy with just kissing and holding hands til marriage...

It's a shame though - one of my friends recently said no to a guy who she really, really liked, and who liked her because he wasn't a Christian and their outlooks on life were a bit different. I think they could have made it work.

Reply 4

Overground

17

I know someone with a really great personality and very good looking - everyone fancies him. Shame he's got a penis :frown:

. Not my jazz unfortunately.

Reply 5

jaguarfan_1

her boyfriend

Reply 6

Prince Rhyus

OP

15

Somebody

But I can see why in a way... Christians have different priorities in life (or at least evangelical Christians do) and I can't say I know many non-Christian guys who are willing to be happy with just kissing and holding hands til marriage...

It's a shame though - one of my friends recently said no to a guy who she really, really liked, and who liked her because he wasn't a Christian and their outlooks on life were a bit different. I think they could have made it work.

I guess it goes for devout believers of any religion - even political parties! (There have been marriage breakdowns on the back of disagreements on whether to send children to state or private schools.)

In terms of religious background, it depends on where people fall. At one end I guess you've got the totally and absolutely athiest who has expunged all aspects of religious life to the extent that the year we are currently in is not 2008 but is something else measured against another historical event, moving through to those who are say "culturally Christian" to the extent that they buy Christmas presents and Easter eggs and may pop along to a Christmas concert to see the children singing in it, but little more. Moving along further to those who go to church every Sunday or the mosque every Friday to the other end where religion is a central part to the life of that individual, which it is in the case of this girl who is not only a devout believer but whose job it is to preach those very beliefs - which is why (and I don't blame her) she loves it. After all, if someone offered to pay you to do something you loved and passionately believed in, would you say no?

I couldn't turn around and "pretend" to be Christian because that would involve me living a lie. After the experiences I had as a kid, I could not put myself through it again.

Reply 7

Hedger

13

jaguarfan_1

her boyfriend

Nothing gets you down like an already, and currently being 'tapped' girl.

Gutted, mate. Hang in there.

Reply 8

122025278

15

cascadingstylez

Dont let religion stop you. This sounds silly.

If you like the girl and understand its her job and she likes you back then it can work. Obviously if she is trying to convert you on your first date there is a problem but if 2 people are open to undertand each others opinions then i can't see a problem.

You look like a 10 year old mate lol, isn't it past your bed time

Reply 9

Drewski

19

This is going to sound very wrong, but age usually stops me.

I'm 22 and have recently met one or two 17/18 year olds that I would otherwise think differently about.

Reply 10

watermelon sugar

14

i wish he was a little bit sharper, not so friggin' slow at times.

Reply 11

Somebody

1

Prince Rhyus

religion is a central part to the life of that individual, which it is in the case of this girl who is not only a devout believer but whose job it is to preach those very beliefs - which is why (and I don't blame her) she loves it. After all, if someone offered to pay you to do something you loved and passionately believed in, would you say no?

I couldn't turn around and "pretend" to be Christian because that would involve me living a lie. After the experiences I had as a kid, I could not put myself through it again.

I wouldn't say no, I agree.
A lot of the most contented people in their jobs are doing things that they consider "hobbies" instead of jobs - including retailers and office workers :p:

But it's also good to realise sooner rather than late that it wouldn't work out too :smile:

Reply 12

snorty_swirl

11

he would be perfect if he.. liked me back (not sure if he does).. would be a bit more social... and his mother didnt dispise my entire family

otherwise i can see me being with him forever.. :frown:

Reply 13

Profesh

20

She was morbidly (and I mean, seriously) obese. Otherwise, she would've been perfect.

Reply 14

georgia

14

snorty_swirl

he would be perfect if he.. liked me back (not sure if he does).. would be a bit more social...

Add didn't smoke and was more consistent to that and you have my answer!

Reply 15

lincs_b

1

122025278

You look like a 10 year old mate lol, isn't it past your bed time

Where's your pic then.

Reply 16

Ang|ophi|e

12

My boyfriend is Catholic and I'm Hindu. We disagree a lot on certain beliefs, but we don't let that get in the way of an amazing relationship. We just don't talk about those issues and keep the relationship more secular. :p:

Don't let it affect what could be a great relationship.

Reply 17

7589200

18

lol i so wanted to say...gender - in a joking way

but that wud make me sound gay and people in here take things so seriously...

Reply 18

Profesh

20

Vazzyb

lol i so wanted to say...gender - in a joking way

but that wud make me sound gay and people in here take things so seriously...

Is that not rather ironic, bearing in mind you're the one who fears 'sounding gay'?

Unless you mean to imply that you're apprehensive of being propositioned by Crіsps; in which case I sympathise entirely.

Reply 19

Ayla Phoenix

11

His bastardisation of text speak on the internet.
Oh, and his girlfriend.

"S/he'd be perfect if only it wasn't for..."

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