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My ex wants me back?? But I am with someone else??

How is this even a question?

You have a girlfriend that you love, it should be a no brainer that you ignore your ex and move on.

Reply 21

Anonymous #3

Original post by UWS

How is this even a question?

You have a girlfriend that you love, it should be a no brainer that you ignore your ex and move on.

Very simply and accurately put.
Although Easy to say and difficult to do.
I personally think his ex is using him again cz she got bored with the other person. OP is perhaps his the second choice for her.

Reply 22

Anonymous #2

Original post by leopard202

4 months is a reasonable time to be able to see clearly, he's questioning his progress so far and whether it is better than what he had..

Or he will learn the hard way and lose both

Hes going to lose his girlfriend, thats for sure. The ex will probably still be around until she changes her mind on who she wants again.

Overall this whole situation is completely unfair on the girlfriend and that is indisputable.

Reply 23

username2353215

15

Original post by Anonymous

Very simply and accurately put.
Although Easy to say and difficult to do.
I personally think his ex is using him again cz she got bored with the other person. OP is perhaps his the second choice for her.

I agree. I personally think they have seen that they are not going to happen and she realises that she wants him back. Or maybe she has seen him with her and misses him.

They do say you realise how much you really love someone when you see someone else love them the way you should have. Clearly what is happening here.

Reply 24

username4591444

21

Why should he lose his girlfriend?

Original post by Anonymous

Hes going to lose his girlfriend, thats for sure. The ex will probably still be around until she changes her mind on who she wants again.

Overall this whole situation is completely unfair on the girlfriend and that is indisputable.

Reply 25

Anonymous #3

Original post by TSRFT8

I agree. I personally think they have seen that they are not going to happen and she realises that she wants him back. Or maybe she has seen him with her and misses him.

They do say you realise how much you really love someone when you see someone else love them the way you should have. Clearly what is happening here.

I don’t see the ex changing. She is just trying to hoover back to OP and ruin him further. No control is the best. OP search up NPD if you would like to know if your ex is one.

Reply 26

Anonymous #3

Original post by Anonymous

I don’t see the ex changing. She is just trying to hoover back to OP and ruin him further. No control is the best. OP search up NPD if you would like to know if your ex is one.

NPD is narc personality disorder

Reply 27

Anonymous #2

Original post by leopard202

Why should he lose his girlfriend?

Why would she stick around when he feels like this even though shes has given him, so he claims, her everything.

Reply 28

Themysticalegg

21

Yep once I nearly got back with my ex 2 months after we broke up cos I was still in love with her. I didn't and then many months later I was like thank god there was so many things wrong with us. :rofl:

'Love blinds you'

Original post by shehnaaz

You have a point. I think exes should stay exes especially if it was toxic

Reply 29

username4591444

21

True, if she knew.. i would probably leave someone who was seriously divided

Sorry OP..

Original post by Anonymous

Why would she stick around when he feels like this even though shes has given him, so he claims, her everything.

Reply 30

gjd800

20

Pfffffft Kongzi would never ask such a question.

Reply 31

Themysticalegg

21

It's funny how I can speak Chinese but I never knew that was what he was called. :rofl:

Original post by gjd800

Pfffffft Kongzi would never ask such a question.

Reply 32

gjd800

20

Original post by Themysticalegg

It's funny how I can speak Chinese but I never knew that was what he was called. :rofl:

I only found out thanks to Bryan van Norden's translations of loads of the stuff attributed to him!

Reply 33

mgi

20

Original post by Confucious11

Me and my ex were together for the best part of 2 years and we did everything together and she was a huge part of my life. We lived together at university for a year so it wasnt just a fling.

We would help each other and just always be there for each other - after uni it was like going back to the flat was such an amazing feeling and it was amazing. But we were just kids who fell in love (i think) I dont know what love is but that felt like the closest thing we just clicked.

So you`re all thinking why did it end; well, we had been slowly pulling away from each other for a few months and she found herself becoming more and more distant with me and at the start it was like WTF but she found herself gravitating to her ex and she went to meet him (she did tell me but it didnt make seeing her with him any better) and then she said she was unsure if who she wanted - which was fine because you dont need to settle for that no matter who it is.

So we kind of just went out separate ways (we still had a month of living together so it was hard but she moved out in January and I got a friend to move in)

The relationship with her was good when it was good but I now see how toxic it also was. During the last 4 months I have been getting to know this other girl and she makes me feel really good and shes kind of everything I ever wanted my ex to be like (bare with me). Like it felt like this whole time she was not 100% rather just 60-70% in and this girl feels like she is 100% in.

Now the problem I have is I dont think I can be happy with my ex ever again but I also cant be happy without her. My girlfriend is caring, sweet and genuinely better in every way, but for some weird reason my heart cannot let go of my ex.

I really really do not know what to do. Please someone tell me how I should feel because I feel like my head is telling me one thing and my heart another.

But just listen to yourself man. 'Toxic' relationship. She went off with her ex! Now you are second guessing yourself even though you now you have a girlfriend that is great according to you! So why bother going back to mess with your ex? Your girlfriend deserves your best attention if you really love her- not your ex!

Reply 34

Hopefully1

12

Yes, I agree with most of the posters. Your ex basically left you to go back to her ex. She now realizes that relationship isn't going to work so she's coming back to you. But, at the end of the day she made you her second choice. Maybe you've both matured....it's possible.... but it's also possible that she knows you'd easily take her back. Are you the love of her life (and she'd treat as such) or are you easy to get back with so she doesn't have to spend much (if any) time without a boyfriend?
Are you being fair to your current gf. You say she treats you well and is in it 100% for you - which is what everyone wants, ideally. But, are you in it 100% for HER??? I think you are wishing your ex to be the way you hoped it would be - perfect and easy but that is a very unlikely scenario to be honest. But, please don't waste your current gf's time if you don't see it for the long haul - that isn't fair to her.
You are going to have to weigh the pros and cons. My opinion is if you go back to your ex it will last for several months but not much longer and hold habits etc. will creep back in and you two will eventually break up.
If you stay with your current gf the only way to move forward is to stop pinning for "what might have been" with your ex. Your ex hasn't changed. You've got a great girl now who obviously is very keen on you. You will break her heart but it is better to do it now and get it over with if you can't get your ex out of your mind.....but again.....I doubt you and your ex will make it beyond a few months (well that is just my opinion).

Reply 35

chernovpasha2227

7

Original post by Confucious11

Me and my ex were together for the best part of 2 years and we did everything together and she was a huge part of my life. We lived together at university for a year so it wasnt just a fling.

We would help each other and just always be there for each other - after uni it was like going back to the flat was such an amazing feeling and it was amazing. But we were just kids who fell in love (i think) I dont know what love is but that felt like the closest thing we just clicked.

So you`re all thinking why did it end; well, we had been slowly pulling away from each other for a few months and she found herself becoming more and more distant with me and at the start it was like WTF but she found herself gravitating to her ex and she went to meet him (she did tell me but it didnt make seeing her with him any better) and then she said she was unsure if who she wanted - which was fine because you dont need to settle for that no matter who it is.

So we kind of just went out separate ways (we still had a month of living together so it was hard but she moved out in January and I got a friend to move in)

The relationship with her was good when it was good but I now see how toxic it also was. During the last 4 months I have been getting to know this other girl and she makes me feel really good and shes kind of everything I ever wanted my ex to be like (bare with me). Like it felt like this whole time she was not 100% rather just 60-70% in and this girl feels like she is 100% in.

Now the problem I have is I dont think I can be happy with my ex ever again but I also cant be happy without her. My girlfriend is caring, sweet and genuinely better in every way, but for some weird reason my heart cannot let go of my ex.

I really really do not know what to do. Please someone tell me how I should feel because I feel like my head is telling me one thing and my heart another.

You said it yourself, you're in a new relationship now and she's like the kind of woman that you're ex can never be. So, why not focus on loving her the way or more than the way she loves you. Perhaps, that would blossom into something beautiful in the future.