Who’s in the wrong Watch

Anonymous #1
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Sorry if this is long

So I’m in high school, and you know how’s there’s like the ‘****’ girls (Yano the ones that like do drugs, smoke n have sex with any pedo that moves). One of them is hosting a house party after prom and my girlfriend wants to go.

We’re in this argument, and I’m trying to explain to her that it’s not gonna be like the usual parties we go to (from the sc of stories from past parties hosted by these sorts of girls, they tend to invite like drug dealers over and stuff) but she’s completely ****ing ignorant to this.

I know I don’t own her, and at the end of the day I can’t tell her what to do and what not do, but I guess it hurts that she didn’t tell me she was going bc she just assumed I wouldn’t wanna go, even though I’m her prom date.

I just don’t wanna see her get touched up by some 20 year old weirdo, and she also tends to wear quite ‘revealing’ clothing at parties, but at the same time I do not want to do something I genuinely do not want to do (which is attend the party) just because she is so oblivious to what it will actually be like.

Am I being mean?
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iqra iqbal
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yeah youre not in the wrong, id be vex at her if i was u
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Hopefully1
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Well, you are trying to be a good boyfriend by protecting her from a situation you don't feel she is ready for and you, frankly, don't want to have to deal with. How long have you been dating? I would hope that she would hear and respect your opinion. I don't do drugs so I'd go with your opinion. But, could you compromise? Could you both go early to the party and set a certainly time limit then leave and go somewhere else. Leaving her, if she is that naive, to go to the party alone is a bit like throwing her to the wolves. Was she planning on going to the party without you even though you are her date? You definitely aren't wrong but things may be changing in your relationship. She may be wanting to go out and 'try' new experiences (even if they aren't good decisions) and you are choosing not to do those things. You are both going to need to be on the same page because it would be difficult to maintain a relationship where you have deferring opinions about drug etc. use. Talk to her some more and find out what about that particular party is appealing to her. If you can't find common ground and you find her priorities are changing you may have to reevaluate your relationship. Good Luck to you!
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Anonymous #2
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You seem quite mature for your age, good job on that and I mean that honestly.

Personally, you seem like a great guy and you're right, you don't own her but the thing is you know at this point she's going to go whether you like it or not. Why deal with that nonsense? I'd say do your own thing for a while and put her to one side completely (forgetting about her completely) until days after the party and then re-evaluate your relationship from their tbh.
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username4813690
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i'd say you're in the right because you're just trying to protect her and that's fair enough, but let her do what she wants if she's really persistent about going and she'll learn from her own mistakes
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Hopefully1)
Well, you are trying to be a good boyfriend by protecting her from a situation you don't feel she is ready for and you, frankly, don't want to have to deal with. How long have you been dating? I would hope that she would hear and respect your opinion. I don't do drugs so I'd go with your opinion. But, could you compromise? Could you both go early to the party and set a certainly time limit then leave and go somewhere else. Leaving her, if she is that naive, to go to the party alone is a bit like throwing her to the wolves. Was she planning on going to the party without you even though you are her date? You definitely aren't wrong but things may be changing in your relationship. She may be wanting to go out and 'try' new experiences (even if they aren't good decisions) and you are choosing not to do those things. You are both going to need to be on the same page because it would be difficult to maintain a relationship where you have deferring opinions about drug etc. use. Talk to her some more and find out what about that particular party is appealing to her. If you can't find common ground and you find her priorities are changing you may have to reevaluate your relationship. Good Luck to you!
Believe me, the last thing I wanna do is throw her into the wolves, but she's so persistent on ****ing swan diving into the wolves that at this point I'm willing to just let her learn from her mistakes if she wants to do it so badly.
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Anonymous #3
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You’re in the right 100% but if she is like going to go with or without you, you obviously have no choice but to go with her bc man if my girlfriend went to a dodgy party like that I would be worrying the entire time she’d get into issues
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
You seem quite mature for your age, good job on that and I mean that honestly.

Personally, you seem like a great guy and you're right, you don't own her but the thing is you know at this point she's going to go whether you like it or not. Why deal with that nonsense? I'd say do your own thing for a while and put her to one side completely (forgetting about her completely) until days after the party and then re-evaluate your relationship from their tbh.
thanks lol, I don't wanna completely ignore her since she is still my date, + I'll have 90 days of doing nothing after GCSEs lol, she just doesn't understand what its really like at those places, she's told me she knows it will 'be a bit messy', and she says that even if there are weird people there, she'll just ignore them and they won't approach her, how does that make sense lol?
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xylas
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Sorry if this is long

So I’m in high school, and you know how’s there’s like the ‘****’ girls (Yano the ones that like do drugs, smoke n have sex with any pedo that moves). One of them is hosting a house party after prom and my girlfriend wants to go.

Am I being mean?
what from this post do you think was possibly mean?
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Dunnig Kruger
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I think that you are 100% in the wrong on this. Your behaviour is controlling.

It's her choice if she wants to go to the party or not. If you're invited, you could go too.

Why should she tell you everything that she's going to do? You don't own her.

If she was touched by the wisest, most handsome, kindest and most compatible 20 year old man in the world, you would still call him a weido (or some other derogatory term). That says more about your state of mind than it does about this hypothetical 20 year old.

She is 16. She is starting to explore social events like parties. You say that she''s oblivious to what the party will be like as if that's a bad thing. I see it as a good thing because she is keeping an open mind on it.

Just because there may be drug dealers there, that doesn't mean to say that your girlfriend will be taking drugs. Nor even that most of the people at the party will be. And if she does choose to use illegal drugs it's her choice. It may not be a good choice. But I bet that you make plenty of sub-optimum choices in your life too. I know I make plenty of sub optimum choices in my life. But I'm not going to beat myself, you, your girlfriend or anybody else up about the less good choices that we make because most of the time we all make good enough choices.

Please reconsider your approach to this. Send your girlfriend off to the party with your blessing and give her your best wishes that she has a good time.
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Anon35
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From a guy that's in his late twenties been around the world and dated a variety of women of ages and countries, don't force her to do anything, let her know how you feel and let her decide. You're still young if all she's after is drugs and sleeping around then she ain't the one move on.

P.S. Most young women seem to wear revealing clothing that's not unique to her.
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iqra iqbal
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would not dare be you😭😭😂
(Original post by Dunnig Kruger)
I think that you are 100% in the wrong on this. Your behaviour is controlling.

It's her choice if she wants to go to the party or not. If you're invited, you could go too.

Why should she tell you everything that she's going to do? You don't own her.

If she was touched by the wisest, most handsome, kindest and most compatible 20 year old man in the world, you would still call him a weido (or some other derogatory term). That says more about your state of mind than it does about this hypothetical 20 year old.

She is 16. She is starting to explore social events like parties. You say that she''s oblivious to what the party will be like as if that's a bad thing. I see it as a good thing because she is keeping an open mind on it.

Just because there may be drug dealers there, that doesn't mean to say that your girlfriend will be taking drugs. Nor even that most of the people at the party will be. And if she does choose to use illegal drugs it's her choice. It may not be a good choice. But I bet that you make plenty of sub-optimum choices in your life too. I know I make plenty of sub optimum choices in my life. But I'm not going to beat myself, you, your girlfriend or anybody else up about the less good choices that we make because most of the time we all make good enough choices.

Please reconsider your approach to this. Send your girlfriend off to the party with your blessing and give her your best wishes that she has a good time.
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