I'm feeling kinda down... Watch

RainMelody
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So basically during the easter holidays i was diagnosed with depression via a doctor and exam season has been a very tough ride whilst going through it. I used to be such a good student that would revise A LOT for even mock tests and my mock grades were excellent. However sadly after the depression hit (due to exam stress and also other stuff affecting me in my life) i became the complete opposite and it was really hard for me to revise at all for certain subjects such as History (which was one of my highest predicted grades but now i think i barely passed it tbh) and Maths and French (prob two 6s that should have been 7s or 8s) and it just makes me feel even worse.

Today i just kinda had a breakdown as now most exams are over and i'm starting to realise how much better things could have been. My mother keeps telling me not to blame myself because obviously i should put my mental health first and i had a clear issue (even my school knows about it all and i might get special consideration but i really don't think it's gonna help much tbh) but i just can't help blaming myself and that makes my mental health worse

I've never had such low self esteem before

Anyway it just sucks going through mental illness at the complete wrong times in life that's why i just wanted to let it out here for a bit, thanks for caring if you have read all of this, i hope you get the grades you want and deserve.
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drystar
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Hey, I know it's extremely hard to not fixate on these negative thoughts, especially with all of the added pressure from others, but there are other ways to think about it. We all tend to focus on the things we could've done, or the regrets we have, but you've got to remember that better things will come and soon these won't matter.

I know the grades you expect aren't up to your original standards, but you've got to remember how well you've done getting through all this. You should be so proud of your grades considering what you're going through - even a pass is great! As long as you get the grades to do what you want at 6th form, your GCSEs won't matter again, and hopefully A levels will go smoothly.

Sometimes life is absolutely cruel and throws terrible stuff at us at the worst timing, but just the fact you've got through this shows how strong and amazing you are as a person - don't let your grades define you, and keep your head up! You've done the best you can in the situation you're going through, and I'm proud of you!

Hope everything goes okay, hope you're proud of your grades and yourself. Hope things get better
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kirigiri
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i was predicted all As growing up, but was hit with severe depression in year 10 that wasnt so bad in year 11, but was still significant. it did affect my exams. i dropped 4 gcses and although i passed the 8 i took, i didnt do as well as i would have without mental illness.
it sucks. it really does. but gcses mean nothing after high school. im finishing my third year of college now (3 years because Mental Illness Strikes Again) and i dont know what my frjends got in their gcses and i dont care. and once we have our a level results, they wont matter aside from getting us into university.
your results - a number or letter on a piece of paper - dont define you. you are so much more than them. and you should be proud of yourself for managing and continuing your education in spite of mental illness. im proud of you!

things wont always be this bad. i promise. hang on in there and look after yourself this summer. make you and your health a priority.

best of luck for whatever youre doing next year! youve got this ♡
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Humairah2003
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You feel upset and that is completely okay. Sometimes things happen and life messes you up but as long as you tried your best with the circumstances you faced then that's all you could do. The grades you get at GCSE are not as important as A-level grades and from the look of things you seem like a hard worker. It's okay to feel disappointed but just remember that you tried and you may have done better than you think.

I wish you well and I hope you get the grades you want.
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bfm.mcdermott
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It might not help for me to say it but this sounds very similar to my experience.

Trying to talk yourself out of depression seems like an almost impossible task but remember:

You almost never do as badly as you think you’ve done in exams. And if you didn’t get the grades you wanted, it isn’t the end f the world. I know it feels like it at the moment but it honestly isn’t and one subject won’t hold you back in life even if it seems like it will.

Also try and remember that the depression WILL end. It seems like forever while you’re going through it but one day you’ll look back and be so glad that you made it through and you’ll be happy. Truly happy.

What did the doctor say? Have they planned any treatment? If not, try either referring yourself to the mental health service (most counties have this option now I think) or see your GP and ask to be referred. It sounds as if CBT or something could really help you at this point.

I can’t make the depression go away but I promise it will get better. Just try and behave as you would normally (i.e. don’t less yourself withdraw or pick up unhealthy coping mechanisms) and focus on some positive mindset activities. It sounds cliche but things like exercise, going outdoors, meeting up with friends, etc. do really help. Try and stay busy and mentally engaged.

If you can’t get CBT maybe try and speak to a counsellor? They’re not as good but they can really help some people with depression.

Good luck x
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RainMelody
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(Original post by kirigiri)
i was predicted all As growing up, but was hit with severe depression in year 10 that wasnt so bad in year 11, but was still significant. it did affect my exams. i dropped 4 gcses and although i passed the 8 i took, i didnt do as well as i would have without mental illness.
it sucks. it really does. but gcses mean nothing after high school. im finishing my third year of college now (3 years because Mental Illness Strikes Again) and i dont know what my frjends got in their gcses and i dont care. and once we have our a level results, they wont matter aside from getting us into university.
your results - a number or letter on a piece of paper - dont define you. you are so much more than them. and you should be proud of yourself for managing and continuing your education in spite of mental illness. im proud of you!

things wont always be this bad. i promise. hang on in there and look after yourself this summer. make you and your health a priority.

best of luck for whatever youre doing next year! youve got this ♡
Thank you so much it means so much to me to hear someone say that! I'm sorry that you also had struggles with depression too and hope everything works out ok for you as well. You have made me feel a little better as i guess these GCSEs are only important for me to get into sixth form, which i hopefully will anyway. Sometimes it's really hard to stop blaming myself though but thanks your words really helped
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Zoeyyyyyyyy
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I love how strong you are for going through this difficult experience and still being a well-wisher for others'(hoping they get the grades they want). Remember I'm always ready to help and you can PM me if you wish! I extremely hope you get the grades you want too- and remember hard work always pays off-but sometimes some situations are out of hand. You've got this! I'm soo proud of you!
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RainMelody
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(Original post by kirigiri)
i was predicted all As growing up, but was hit with severe depression in year 10 that wasnt so bad in year 11, but was still significant. it did affect my exams. i dropped 4 gcses and although i passed the 8 i took, i didnt do as well as i would have without mental illness.
it sucks. it really does. but gcses mean nothing after high school. im finishing my third year of college now (3 years because Mental Illness Strikes Again) and i dont know what my frjends got in their gcses and i dont care. and once we have our a level results, they wont matter aside from getting us into university.
your results - a number or letter on a piece of paper - dont define you. you are so much more than them. and you should be proud of yourself for managing and continuing your education in spite of mental illness. im proud of you!

things wont always be this bad. i promise. hang on in there and look after yourself this summer. make you and your health a priority.

best of luck for whatever youre doing next year! youve got this ♡
Just asking a question i forgot to mention: Do you think i should consider re-sitting maths and history if my health gets better over the summer and in year 12, or do you think it would be better to just focus more on my a levels so that i can get good predictions for uni applications?
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Scrimbim
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Honestly you'll get into sixth form don't worry about it. GCSEs are easier than you think as the grade boundaries are always low cause a large majority of people who are taking them come from many intellectual backgrounds. I think a pass for my Maths GCSE back in 2017 was something like 30%. You will do so much better than you think. I hope you feel much better later on and as soon as these exams are over you will have one of the best summers of your life. So life is about to get a lot better.
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RainMelody
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(Original post by drystar)
Hey, I know it's extremely hard to not fixate on these negative thoughts, especially with all of the added pressure from others, but there are other ways to think about it. We all tend to focus on the things we could've done, or the regrets we have, but you've got to remember that better things will come and soon these won't matter.

I know the grades you expect aren't up to your original standards, but you've got to remember how well you've done getting through all this. You should be so proud of your grades considering what you're going through - even a pass is great! As long as you get the grades to do what you want at 6th form, your GCSEs won't matter again, and hopefully A levels will go smoothly.

Sometimes life is absolutely cruel and throws terrible stuff at us at the worst timing, but just the fact you've got through this shows how strong and amazing you are as a person - don't let your grades define you, and keep your head up! You've done the best you can in the situation you're going through, and I'm proud of you!

Hope everything goes okay, hope you're proud of your grades and yourself. Hope things get better
Thanks a lot, i really needed to hear that. All the best to you too
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kirigiri
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(Original post by RainMelody)
Just asking a question i forgot to mention: Do you think i should consider re-sitting maths and history if my health gets better over the summer and in year 12, or do you think it would be better to just focus more on my a levels so that i can get good predictions for uni applications?
i wouldnt. a levels can be pretty heavy, and youll want to put your time and effort into those, even if you are in a better place mentally. most universities dont care about your gcse grades at all (the only one perhaps to be aware of is some universities want, say, a B equivalent in maths).
maybe look into universities and see if the ones you want to aim for require specific gcses. but otherwise nah, just focus on your a levels.
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You Can Be
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(Original post by RainMelody)
So basically during the easter holidays i was diagnosed with depression via a doctor and exam season has been a very tough ride whilst going through it. I used to be such a good student that would revise A LOT for even mock tests and my mock grades were excellent. However sadly after the depression hit (due to exam stress and also other stuff affecting me in my life) i became the complete opposite and it was really hard for me to revise at all for certain subjects such as History (which was one of my highest predicted grades but now i think i barely passed it tbh) and Maths and French (prob two 6s that should have been 7s or 8s) and it just makes me feel even worse.

Today i just kinda had a breakdown as now most exams are over and i'm starting to realise how much better things could have been. My mother keeps telling me not to blame myself because obviously i should put my mental health first and i had a clear issue (even my school knows about it all and i might get special consideration but i really don't think it's gonna help much tbh) but i just can't help blaming myself and that makes my mental health worse

I've never had such low self esteem before

Anyway it just sucks going through mental illness at the complete wrong times in life that's why i just wanted to let it out here for a bit, thanks for caring if you have read all of this, i hope you get the grades you want and deserve.
What no one tells you is that GCSE's really don't matter. Nor Do A' levels. My Mum personally knows someone who got no GCSEs or A levels and she did an Access course and went to Uni to do medicine and is now a consultant at A and E. Our dentist also failed his A levels. It is important for your school that you do feel because of their league tables but your mental health is so much more important.
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RainMelody
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(Original post by bfm.mcdermott)
It might not help for me to say it but this sounds very similar to my experience.

Trying to talk yourself out of depression seems like an almost impossible task but remember:

You almost never do as badly as you think you’ve done in exams. And if you didn’t get the grades you wanted, it isn’t the end f the world. I know it feels like it at the moment but it honestly isn’t and one subject won’t hold you back in life even if it seems like it will.

Also try and remember that the depression WILL end. It seems like forever while you’re going through it but one day you’ll look back and be so glad that you made it through and you’ll be happy. Truly happy.

What did the doctor say? Have they planned any treatment? If not, try either referring yourself to the mental health service (most counties have this option now I think) or see your GP and ask to be referred. It sounds as if CBT or something could really help you at this point.

I can’t make the depression go away but I promise it will get better. Just try and behave as you would normally (i.e. don’t less yourself withdraw or pick up unhealthy coping mechanisms) and focus on some positive mindset activities. It sounds cliche but things like exercise, going outdoors, meeting up with friends, etc. do really help. Try and stay busy and mentally engaged.

If you can’t get CBT maybe try and speak to a counsellor? They’re not as good but they can really help some people with depression.

Good luck x
Thank you so much and yeah regarding the treatment, the waiting time to get treatment for mental health is about 12 weeks i think which is sadly really long. So i've been referred but it will take a while for it to start but when it does i will recieve CBT and counselling i think. In the mean time the doctor wrote a letter to my school which will be sent to the exam boards
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FeteOnTheGround
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(Original post by You Can Be)
What no one tells you is that GCSE's really don't matter. Nor Do A' levels. My Mum personally knows someone who got no GCSEs or A levels and she did an Access course and went to Uni to do medicine and is now a consultant at A and E. Our dentist also failed his A levels. It is important for your school that you do feel because of their league tables but your mental health is so much more important.
*hammers the button in agreement*
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You Can Be
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I really hope you feel better soon. I would concentrate on doing nice stuff for yourself. I had a bad time last year but I came through it and I am sure you will too. What was helpful for me was realising that almost all teenagers have mental health problems so I felt less alone.
(Original post by RainMelody)
Thank you so much and yeah regarding the treatment, the waiting time to get treatment for mental health is about 12 weeks i think which is sadly really long. So i've been referred but it will take a while for it to start but when it does i will recieve CBT and counselling i think. In the mean time the doctor wrote a letter to my school which will be sent to the exam boards
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RainMelody
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(Original post by Scrimbim)
Honestly you'll get into sixth form don't worry about it. GCSEs are easier than you think as the grade boundaries are always low cause a large majority of people who are taking them come from many intellectual backgrounds. I think a pass for my Maths GCSE back in 2017 was something like 30%. You will do so much better than you think. I hope you feel much better later on and as soon as these exams are over you will have one of the best summers of your life. So life is about to get a lot better.
Thank you, yeah i was starting to understand that they really were not that important except for Oxford or Cambridge but then i think what triggered my breakdown today was when i saw the entry requirements for Psychology at Bath (which is really good for psychology but i would be happy to get into any russell group uni tbh) and it kinda shocked me when it said it required about 5 grade 8-9s at GCSE or mostly 7s at GCSE, so yeah that's what kinda triggered me getting really upset about everything cause it's my dream to do psychology at a russell group uni.

But anyway you're right cause i guess one university isn't a massive deal there are still loads of places to apply for like UCL and Kings so i hope i can still get there if i work hard during a level
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RainMelody
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(Original post by kirigiri)
i wouldnt. a levels can be pretty heavy, and youll want to put your time and effort into those, even if you are in a better place mentally. most universities dont care about your gcse grades at all (the only one perhaps to be aware of is some universities want, say, a B equivalent in maths).
maybe look into universities and see if the ones you want to aim for require specific gcses. but otherwise nah, just focus on your a levels.
Yeah thank you for the advice, my sister said the exact same thing, i guess you are right. However if i don't get at least a 6 in maths and only a 5 i think i would have to retake since most of the unis i want to go to require grade 6 for psychology
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RainMelody
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Thanks, you're really sweet
(Original post by Zoeyyyyyyyy)
I love how strong you are for going through this difficult experience and still being a well-wisher for others'(hoping they get the grades they want). Remember I'm always ready to help and you can PM me if you wish! I extremely hope you get the grades you want too- and remember hard work always pays off-but sometimes some situations are out of hand. You've got this! I'm soo proud of you!
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You Can Be
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Honestly you can do an Access course to get into Russell groups as well. If you can get a level 4 in maths and English that's all that matters. I used to think it mattered a lot too but my Mum is a psychiatrist and she has shown me loads of information about alternative ways to do what you want. A levels are not the only way.
(Original post by RainMelody)
Thank you, yeah i was starting to understand that they really were not that important except for Oxford or Cambridge but then i think what triggered my breakdown today was when i saw the entry requirements for Psychology at Bath (which is really good for psychology but i would be happy to get into any russell group uni tbh) and it kinda shocked me when it said it required about 5 grade 8-9s at GCSE or mostly 7s at GCSE, so yeah that's what kinda triggered me getting really upset about everything cause it's my dream to do psychology at a russell group uni.

But anyway you're right cause i guess one university isn't a massive deal there are still loads of places to apply for like UCL and Kings so i hope i can still get there if i work hard during a level
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RazzzBerries
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A mantra of mine is to work on fixing the present. The past is gone and the future is undetermined. Ask yourself what you can do now, in this present moment, that will benefit you the most. If you make the present count, the future is not so bad. :heart:
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