Bf meeting up with ex! Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
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#1
My bf split with his ex over 4 years ago. We are in the process of buying a house and have found out that she is still down on the mortgage. So in order for him to sell his place he needs her to sign some papers. Is it wrong of me to feel jealous that he’s having to meet up for her to do this?
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Bio 7
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Since it needs to happen then a bit, yes. How else is he meant to get the papers signed?
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HoldThisL
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Is it wrong of me to feel jealous that he’s having to meet up for her to do this?
no but don't take that out on him because he has to do it for both of you

if you tell him without being mad a him he probably won't get upset with you
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Anonymous #1
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I know but it still doesn’t stop me worrying that she won’t try something. I mean she is the type to try and win him back. Because she’s been stalking me on social media and telling me that she’s still with him.
(Original post by HoldThisL)
no but don't take that out on him because he has to do it for both of you

if you tell him without being mad a him he probably won't get upset with you
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HoldThisL
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I know but it still doesn’t stop me worrying that she won’t try something. I mean she is the type to try and win him back. Because she’s been stalking me on social media and telling me that she’s still with him.
okay so she's a weirdo. still, ask if you can go with him?
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Anonymous #1
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This is what makes me suspicious, he knows I want to be there, yet he’s organised it for a time when I’ll be at work, knowing full well that due to me working in a school I won’t be able to get the time off. He works shifts and organised it for when he has an evening shift. It just seems weird to be.
(Original post by HoldThisL)
okay so she's a weirdo. still, ask if you can go with him?
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Anonymous #1
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He originally planned on giving them to a mutual friend who he trusts. Then at the last minute decided to do it in person at a time when I won’t be able to go with him even though he knows I want to be there.
(Original post by Bio 7)
Since it needs to happen then a bit, yes. How else is he meant to get the papers signed?
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Bio 7
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(Original post by Anonymous)
He originally planned on giving them to a mutual friend who he trusts. Then at the last minute decided to do it in person at a time when I won’t be able to go with him even though he knows I want to be there.
Well I don’t think you need to worry here, it sounds like it will be fine.
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Rid The Kid
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buy a mini voice recorder and put it in his jacket pocket and listen to their convo. easy.


^ this is if you fully dont trust him. he's been with you for 4 years; he won't risk a potential house/family over an ex.
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londonmyst
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There is no point feeling jealous.
I doubt your bf wants to stay in contact with her after she signs.
The relationship ended four years ago, all he wants is her signature to sell the house.
If she is the lying ex from hell, she might well have threatened to cause trouble if someone else brought them to her or you were present.
She's not worth your time, don't give her any- on social media or irl.
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Xerx
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Honestly, seems a little suspicious to me.

Ask him to re-arrange it so that you can attend as well. If he refuses, you know he's up to something (unless there's a deadline).
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Anonymous #1
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Not really a deadline.

It’s more than just the paperwork that is making me feel suspicious. He never leaves the room without his phone, he walks out of the room when he’s on the phone. I found some lingerie once and he claims he bought it for me. He knows my size but this was not my size, this was larger (ex gf is on the larger size). We don’t live together yet, but I have some stuff at his place. When I went there recently my stuff was all hiding away, like he didn’t want the fact that I’m around being known. In the beginning he told me to keep our relationship off social media as he didn’t want his ex finding out that he was seeing someone new. I wasn’t allowed to post anything on fb for a year, now he tells me to be careful what I post, again because he doesn’t want her finding out.


(Original post by Xerx)
Honestly, seems a little suspicious to me.

Ask him to re-arrange it so that you can attend as well. If he refuses, you know he's up to something (unless there's a deadline).
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mgi
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(Original post by Anonymous)
My bf split with his ex over 4 years ago. We are in the process of buying a house and have found out that she is still down on the mortgage. So in order for him to sell his place he needs her to sign some papers. Is it wrong of me to feel jealous that he’s having to meet up for her to do this?
No. Come on! Its a means to an end. For you two to buy a house together.!
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Anonymous #1
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Yes I realise that. But when he calls you be her name at a time you really don’t want to her another woman’s name let alone his ex. It kinda makes you wonder.
(Original post by mgi)
No. Come on! Its a means to an end. For you two to buy a house together.!
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mgi
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Yes I realise that. But when he calls you be her name at a time you really don’t want to her another woman’s name let alone his ex. It kinda makes you wonder.
Yes ok. But maybe that is about you? Maybe you feel a bit insecure? Don't you trust him? Guys don't commit to buying a house with you if they still fancy their ex! They would have to be mad!
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Anonymous #1
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How do you mean, it’s about me? I do trust him and I’m not insecure. He’s called me by her name, hides his phone, leaves the room when he’s on the phone. Sometimes when we meet up or he picks me up from work there’s this perfume smell that isn’t mine. We don’t live together yet, but I’ve got some stuff at his, when I went there last night none of it was out on my bedside table or in my drawers. He had put them in a cupboard on the landing. Why do that? The only thing I can think of is that he had someone round that he didn’t want knowing he was in a relationship.
(Original post by mgi)
Yes ok. But maybe that is about you? Maybe you feel a bit insecure? Don't you trust him? Guys don't commit to buying a house with you if they still fancy their ex! They would have to be mad!
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mgi
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(Original post by Anonymous)
How do you mean, it’s about me? I do trust him and I’m not insecure. He’s called me by her name, hides his phone, leaves the room when he’s on the phone. Sometimes when we meet up or he picks me up from work there’s this perfume smell that isn’t mine. We don’t live together yet, but I’ve got some stuff at his, when I went there last night none of it was out on my bedside table or in my drawers. He had put them in a cupboard on the landing. Why do that? The only thing I can think of is that he had someone round that he didn’t want knowing he was in a relationship.
ok. I see what you mean. Could it be that he was tidying up? But, surely, if you are suspicious then there are trust issues? You would be quite right, without a credible explanation, to not trust Mr perfume smelling man! What explanation did he give? How long has he been your boyfriend? Don't move in with him yet-if at all. Wait. Really figure out what you want. Is he the ONE? By the way if you move in with a guy without getting engaged/married to him then you are giving him everything-love, companionship, sex etc without him having to really commit to you and he will slow down drastically with any marriage wishes that you may have! Just saying.😀
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Anonymous #1
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If he was tidying up then why not keep my stuff in my bedside drawer. He had taken it out of the drawer and put it in a cupboard. Also with the perfume I asked him and he said his sister was spraying him. Only thing is I know what perfume his sister uses and it was t that perfume. I can be suspicious and still trust him. Yes in the past I have had trust issues because all my exes have cheated on me. We have spoken about marriage, but that has since become less since his ex has been in contact with him.
(Original post by mgi)
ok. I see what you mean. Could it be that he was tidying up? But, surely, if you are suspicious then there are trust issues? You would be quite right, without a credible explanation, to not trust Mr perfume smelling man! What explanation did he give? How long has he been your boyfriend? Don't move in with him yet-if at all. Wait. Really figure out what you want. Is he the ONE? By the way if you move in with a guy without getting engaged/married to him then you are giving him everything-love, companionship, sex etc without him having to really commit to you and he will slow down drastically with any marriage wishes that you may have! Just saying.😀
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squeakysquirrel
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(Original post by Anonymous)
If he was tidying up then why not keep my stuff in my bedside drawer. He had taken it out of the drawer and put it in a cupboard. Also with the perfume I asked him and he said his sister was spraying him. Only thing is I know what perfume his sister uses and it was t that perfume. I can be suspicious and still trust him. Yes in the past I have had trust issues because all my exes have cheated on me. We have spoken about marriage, but that has since become less since his ex has been in contact with him.
She is an ex and you are buying a house together - don't be so insecure. I do know where you are coming from though. My husbands ex wife (they divorced about 10 years ago) still tries it on with him every time they meet up for custody visits. She dresses provocatively - showing her large chest. She refers to their intimate life together all the time. She suggests that they go together to things - not related to their child - so like seeing the father -in law. She cooks for him. She calls him up all the time.. etc etc.

He has very little time for her as his life was miserable when he was with her and hew would sooner chop his genitals off than get back with her.
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mgi
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(Original post by Anonymous)
If he was tidying up then why not keep my stuff in my bedside drawer. He had taken it out of the drawer and put it in a cupboard. Also with the perfume I asked him and he said his sister was spraying him. Only thing is I know what perfume his sister uses and it was t that perfume. I can be suspicious and still trust him. Yes in the past I have had trust issues because all my exes have cheated on me. We have spoken about marriage, but that has since become less since his ex has been in contact with him.
Ok. But it's interesting that your female intiution is kicking in. You need to listen to it! Here is what its seem to be telling you : he does not want the commitment with you that you actually want. He is eyeing up his ex, stopped talking about marriage to you and you smell unidentified perfume! And what's more- your intuition is telling you to investigate further isnt it? You sound like you want a nice guy that you intuitively believe in and whom you can love and be loved back. Right?
He does not sound like he is the one. However. another interesting question is: How comes i keep attracting these suspiciously behaving/cheating guys? I would say sincerely and kindly to you that you are doing something wrong. Allow me to speculate a bit without knowing you: you meet these guys, trust them and sleep with them within 3 months of meeting them while, in your heart, naturally and reasonably wanting a longterm relationship. But you get casual guys who want sex without commitment of course. Fine if thats what you want. If you don't then you have to date quite differently so that you can get time to see the difference in practice between the nice loving committed guys and the ones who are d.cks seeking what's under your clothes only. So if i am right, and you decide to dump this suspicious guy at some point, then this is what you do when you start dating again: Any guy that you find interesting/ fanciable must do the chasing /dating for 3 months while you avoid taking any of your clothes off or any form of penetration! Why? this gives you time to see who the misbehaving suspicious d..ks are before you commit your body. heart and soul! The d..ks will misbehave or do/disappear behaviour-dump them! This saves you wasting too much time on the wrong guys. Girls who want real commitment go wrong often by going much too fast to the bedroom! Check out some of the extreme cases in Love Island on TV if you don't believe me.
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