I have decided not to date again

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 9 months ago
#1
I went through a rough break up last year. My self esteem was shattered, the way I view myself still affects me to this day. I feel guilt when I should not. I feel like I'm serving a life sentence when it's just a lesson. Whenever I think of how my ex cheated on me and then bad mouthed about me to his cousins who I'm friends with. It hurts. I feel like my trust issues are so deep, I can't even fathom the thought of being with someone again because I'm afraid of getting hurt like that again. Getting cheating on and left for someone else cuts deep. I was naive and didn't know how hard a break up could hurt. It's been a little over a year now and every time I think of even wanting to date again, I feel the pain again and I just distant myself from people. It really sucks but I feel like maybe I'm just not meant for a relationship. Sorry for the rant. Has anyone felt this way before?
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Scubari
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#2
Report 9 months ago
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Your ex didn't treat you with the respect that you deserve but there are men/women out there who will. It's normal to not want to date after a painful breakup, you just need time to heal and to work through your feelings.
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londonmyst
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#3
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Yes.
I went through a very sordid break up of all time five years ago and have been single ever since.
The ex had a secret hobby involving a pair of sex workers, violent hardcore porn and they were all std infected.
I found out from the sex workers because they were worried about my health, luckily I was all clear.

But it is important not to allow yourself to wallow in misery or become bitter at the world because of the horrid antics of a vile ex.
There are always an unpleasant few and karma is not their friend.
Always remember that there are plenty of decent people in the world- men & women who are kind, honest and trustworthy.
Don't blame all men for what the ex did or tar other guys with the same brush as him.
Even the worst relationship breakups are valuable life experience.
I once went on a blind date with a guy who brought his mother on the date, forgot his wallet, told me to pay for everything and then asked me to lend him some extra cash.
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Galactic tears
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Report 9 months ago
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(Original post by londonmyst)
Yes.
I went through a very sordid break up of all time five years ago and have been single ever since.
The ex had a secret hobby involving a pair of sex workers, violent hardcore porn and they were all std infected.
I found out from the sex workers because they were worried about my health, luckily I was all clear.
Oh gosh😖😖😖
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username4355882
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#5
Report 9 months ago
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(Original post by londonmyst)
Yes.
I went through a very sordid break up of all time five years ago and have been single ever since.
The ex had a secret hobby involving a pair of sex workers, violent hardcore porn and they were all std infected.
I found out from the sex workers because they were worried about my health, luckily I was all clear.

But it is important not to allow yourself to wallow in misery or become bitter at the world because of the horrid antics of a vile ex.
There are always an unpleasant few and karma is not their friend.
Always remember that there are plenty of decent people in the world- men & women who are kind, honest and trustworthy.
Don't blame all men for what the ex did or tar other guys with the same brush as him.
Even the worst relationship breakups are valuable life experience.
I once went on a blind date with a guy who brought his mother on the date, forgot his wallet, told me to pay for everything and then asked me to lend him some extra cash.
I was resentful of my past relationships but now I feel stupid.

You are really brave! :rave:

With this attitude, you only have good things in store :jumphug:
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Joleee
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#6
Report 9 months ago
#6
yes i have a very bad ex, the kind who is successful and looks normal on the outside but should be in jail (literally).

there's nothing wrong with not wanting to date or not being interested in a relationship, like ever. don't know why this is something we're supposed to want or fix about ourselves. if being single works better for you there's nothing wrong with that. it's only been a year since your breakup tho. that's not a long time and you shouldn't feel bad if you're not ready to date.
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StriderHort
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#7
Report 9 months ago
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*shrug* I've been single since coming out of a serious relationship maybe 10 years ago, flings and old flame hookups only. There are good sides and bad sides but i'm largely content.

I think my confidence got smashed deep down where I can't really get to it, i'm still pretty determined my ex is the one for me and vice versa but she went her own way and i need to respect that, every woman i look at since just hasn't measured up, although i'm reasonably sure i'm looking at bits of it all rose tinted.

Oh yeah, and i got involved with 2 women in a row who were obsessive/BPD/highly manipulative, i doubt that helped
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