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    very long story but ill try and keep it brief!

    I had my boyfriends phone the other day, and we both forgot it was in my bag. i have recently got a new phone so have lost all the soppy messages we had been sending each other, so i read thm on his phone. I stumbled across one from another girl, telling him how much she missed him. i then scrolled through the inbox and nothiced there were a lot from her, more thn from me and they were all in conversations as they seemed to follow each other. i read some more at random and discoverd one saying how she likes teaseing him bout her being naked in the shower. I thn read all of them coz i was worried bout the rest. Turns out the ring each other all the time and, text each other more then i text him. A few months ago i discoverd he wudnt open texts from this girl in front of me, and i asked him y. he sed its coz he didnt care, but if they had messages like tht, he wudnt want me to see thm.
    now i dont no if im just being paranoid, i feel guilty for reading his mesages, but better for knowing. But i dont know how, or whether i shud confront him in case i loose him.

    any suggestions would be good...
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    No you are DEFINITELY not being paranoid. Jesus. How long have you been going out/is your relationship pretty 'intense'?
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    You're scared of losing someone that has almost definitely been flirting with someone to an extent he shouldn't be?

    I would confront him about it. You're not really in the wrong, he's the one that had something to hide.
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    CONFRONT HIM.

    It;s obvious he's been upto something.

    You haven't done anything wrong tbh, good job you find out now and not later on in time.
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    i'm sorry to say but it sounds VERY SUSPICIOUS!!!!
    definately confront him...he better have a good explanation!!
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    ok...lol. general consensus to confront him thn? we bin together 8 months, i was worried bout this other girl, but i now know there is nothing to worry bout with her. When i talked to sum1 bout her, she said it what me n bf have is like movie love, and people say we are a cute couple.
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    Cute couple or not, he's being a ****.

    Sorry to break it to you.
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    Cute doesn't mean faithful. I'm sorry but it sounds like your bf is just messing you around. How old are you both?
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    thts wt my mate said. but i dont know what was in his outbox. i have to admit, i have been tlking to my ex, and another guy hu claims to love me, bt both are my friends, and i have told my boyfreind bout it, and i am totaly open about it. thts all i want from him, and not to be flirting madley with other girls
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    You have movie love in this sense:

    The guy is a ****, cheats on the girl, and she realises she is much better than him and meets somebody who doesn't cheat on her. They fall in love properly, not just in a cute, cinematic way. The guy who cheated on her finds it doesn't work out with his bit on the side, and then wants the girl back. But she's realised she doesn't want him, because he's a liar and a cheat. She lives happily ever after.

    You say you don't want to lose him, but I think you do... You really want to be used by somebody who thinks so much of you that he's cheating on you? You are better than that.
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    i dont know if he is cheating tho, at the moment it cud jst be texts. i dont think he wud eva cheat on me, he is too nice. bt i can neva be sure.
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    and we are 18 and17
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    (Original post by jet-taylor)
    very long story but ill try and keep it brief!

    I had my boyfriends phone the other day, and we both forgot it was in my bag. i have recently got a new phone so have lost all the soppy messages we had been sending each other, so i read thm on his phone. I stumbled across one from another girl, telling him how much she missed him. i then scrolled through the inbox and nothiced there were a lot from her, more thn from me and they were all in conversations as they seemed to follow each other. i read some more at random and discoverd one saying how she likes teaseing him bout her being naked in the shower. I thn read all of them coz i was worried bout the rest. Turns out the ring each other all the time and, text each other more then i text him. A few months ago i discoverd he wudnt open texts from this girl in front of me, and i asked him y. he sed its coz he didnt care, but if they had messages like tht, he wudnt want me to see thm.
    now i dont no if im just being paranoid, i feel guilty for reading his mesages, but better for knowing. But i dont know how, or whether i shud confront him in case i loose him.

    any suggestions would be good...
    you're normal, gal

    don't directly confront him, try and ease into getting him to talk...if he still doesn't, forget your relationship
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    i dont want to forget it tho. atm it seems like its the only thing keeping me going. it seems so hard when it used to be easy.
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    Oh my God, OP please I think you're in denial. Who cares if it's just texts?! It's not like he's writing her texts that could be interpreted a certain way....maybe the odd ''hun'' or a few kisses...this is so blatant...you're worth more than this, come on now.
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    CONFRONT HIM. I read horrible texts from a girl on my bfs phone, yet felt so guilty about it, I bottled it up inside of me. Now three months on, our relationship is fine in his eyes...yet I constantly have this nagging voice in the back of my head...and I've never quite felt the same about him tbh. But because I didn't talk to him about it straight away, bringing it up months later out of the blue is extremely awkward for me...
    And just cus he's 'nice' doesn't mean that he's faithful. It's incredibly disrespectful of this girl to be persuing your bf, and indeed disrespectful of him to encourage her. Talk to him.
    Best wishes
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    steal his phone and post the exact messages for proper analysis imo.

    Half of the people here seem to be assuming this guy is an ******** based on very little. If you care about him don't be one of them. I have a lot of close female friends, more than one of whom is an ex girlfriend. I text them a lot and have long phone conversations with one pretty regularly. At no point has cheating on my girlfriend with any of them crossed my mind.

    Talk to him, don't accuse him of anything, and see what's going on, it may be nothing.
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    oh my.

    he isn't being very nice, is he?

    CONFRONT HIM. Its still wrong of him for treating you like this.
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    Been here done that. I confronted him and lost him. I know it's not the rosy story you'd like to here but there you go. What would you prefer, a relationship of lies or none at all? I reassure myself with the notion that yes, I really, really am hurting, but I'd be hurting more if I had continued as if I hadn't found anything. Tough choice! But you deserve more. Everyone thinks their boyfriend "wouldn't be capable of something like this", I know I did, but you have to face up to the facts: he obviously just isn't as nice as you think, because nobody "nice" would screw someone they supposedly cared about in such a manner. It may seem like an overreaction over a couple of meaningless texts, but I bet he wouldn't like it if he read some like that on your phone!
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    thnx people..gonna talk to him tonight. is it ok to do talk about it over the phone?
 
 
 
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