Don't marry for love Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 5 months ago
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OK this is going to be a long one...

So here are my thoughts:

I don't think you should marry the person you love. Love is an emotion, and emotions are fickle. There are different types of love (I love my dog, I love my friends, I love music etc) but I believe the truest love is in the form of your parents, specifically your mother (and/or your spiritual God, but that's another topic).
I believe this to be the case as a mother's love is unconditional.

In a relationship with another person though, we always want something. We may give, but we also want to receive something, to feel validated. It's almost like emotionally manipulating, giving them something in order to receive something in the future. And if you don't, you don't feel appreciated and leave, whether it be an object or not.

Marrying for love is only a modern concept, and because of it, divorces are high too. Of course, divorce laws came out around the same time as the concept of marrying for love, but it seems comical to see how a lot of marriages don't even last 2 years, I mean seriously.

So heres my conclusion: I think you should marry someone you respect, someone you trust. Eventually you will 'love' their trait and married for 'love'.

-> marry someone who has the foundation to build a good relationship with. Don't go looking for love.
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mgi
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(Original post by Anonymous)
OK this is going to be a long one...

So here are my thoughts:

I don't think you should marry the person you love. Love is an emotion, and emotions are fickle. There are different types of love (I love my dog, I love my friends, I love music etc) but I believe the truest love is in the form of your parents, specifically your mother (and/or your spiritual God, but that's another topic).
I believe this to be the case as a mother's love is unconditional.

In a relationship with another person though, we always want something. We may give, but we also want to receive something, to feel validated. It's almost like emotionally manipulating, giving them something in order to receive something in the future. And if you don't, you don't feel appreciated and leave, whether it be an object or not.

Marrying for love is only a modern concept, and because of it, divorces are high too. Of course, divorce laws came out around the same time as the concept of marrying for love, but it seems comical to see how a lot of marriages don't even last 2 years, I mean seriously.

So heres my conclusion: I think you should marry someone you respect, someone you trust. Eventually you will 'love' their trait and married for 'love'.

-> marry someone who has the foundation to build a good relationship with. Don't go looking for love.
No. Not good advice. Everyone wants to be happy. Firstly, you assume that parental love is unconditional- that is not necessarily true. People have children for all sorts of reasons that don't always have anything to do with love and,judging by some of the tsr user comments, some parents are in fact quite abusive. You don't actually grow to love someone after you get married to them; that is a myth. I wouldnt try that 'grow love traits' thing it if i were you.lol. Think about what a good marriage actually involves. Trust and respect is a given- but there is more! Divorces happen for all sorts of complex reasons as well.
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The Uniqueness
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(Original post by Anonymous)
OK this is going to be a long one...

So here are my thoughts:

I don't think you should marry the person you love. Love is an emotion, and emotions are fickle. There are different types of love (I love my dog, I love my friends, I love music etc) but I believe the truest love is in the form of your parents, specifically your mother (and/or your spiritual God, but that's another topic).
I believe this to be the case as a mother's love is unconditional.

In a relationship with another person though, we always want something. We may give, but we also want to receive something, to feel validated. It's almost like emotionally manipulating, giving them something in order to receive something in the future. And if you don't, you don't feel appreciated and leave, whether it be an object or not.

Marrying for love is only a modern concept, and because of it, divorces are high too. Of course, divorce laws came out around the same time as the concept of marrying for love, but it seems comical to see how a lot of marriages don't even last 2 years, I mean seriously.

So heres my conclusion: I think you should marry someone you respect, someone you trust. Eventually you will 'love' their trait and married for 'love'.

-> marry someone who has the foundation to build a good relationship with. Don't go looking for love.
When you speak negativity in your life, negativity follows.
Last edited by The Uniqueness; 5 months ago
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Airmed
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No one's love is unconditional. Fact. Love comes in all shapes and sizes, many different forms, but love always comes with conditions. Even if it is between a child and a parent. You can love that someone is trustworthy, but that does not equal loving them or being in love with them. That's just you appreciating a specific part of their personality.
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Anonymous #2
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I think theres two different sorts of love, love as in the Romeo and Juliet kind and then the sort of love that most have for family. If you're in the 'Romeo and Juliet' kind, and feel like you can't live without the person for longer than 10 minutes, I 100% agree with you, once that feeling fades you'll want to leave them, but be stuck in a marriage which you paid thousands for, and if you divorce, there'' be a stigma attached etc.
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ThunderBeard
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#6
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But isn’t that part of the package? You love someone you can trust and build something with.
(Original post by Anonymous)
OK this is going to be a long one...

So here are my thoughts:

I don't think you should marry the person you love. Love is an emotion, and emotions are fickle. There are different types of love (I love my dog, I love my friends, I love music etc) but I believe the truest love is in the form of your parents, specifically your mother (and/or your spiritual God, but that's another topic).
I believe this to be the case as a mother's love is unconditional.

In a relationship with another person though, we always want something. We may give, but we also want to receive something, to feel validated. It's almost like emotionally manipulating, giving them something in order to receive something in the future. And if you don't, you don't feel appreciated and leave, whether it be an object or not.

Marrying for love is only a modern concept, and because of it, divorces are high too. Of course, divorce laws came out around the same time as the concept of marrying for love, but it seems comical to see how a lot of marriages don't even last 2 years, I mean seriously.

So heres my conclusion: I think you should marry someone you respect, someone you trust. Eventually you will 'love' their trait and married for 'love'.

-> marry someone who has the foundation to build a good relationship with. Don't go looking for love.
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FakeNewsEditor
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(Original post by Airmed)
No one's love is unconditional. Fact. Love comes in all shapes and sizes, many different forms, but love always comes with conditions. Even if it is between a child and a parent. You can love that someone is trustworthy, but that does not equal loving them or being in love with them. That's just you appreciating a specific part of their personality.
I have unconditional love from my father. He has seen me ruin myself and in some cases, my actions have harmed him himself. Still, he hasn't batted an eye and I can't think of any situation in my life where he'd not give me 100%. It's certainly possible to love unconditionally but very rare, I'll give you that.
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Airmed
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(Original post by FakeNewsEditor)
I have unconditional love from my father. He has seen me ruin myself and in some cases, my actions have harmed him himself. Still, he hasn't batted an eye and I can't think of any situation in my life where he'd not give me 100%. It's certainly possible to love unconditionally but very rare, I'll give you that.
I certainly have near enough unconditional love from my pwn father, but I simply dont believe it exists for me. I'm glad that you have it though, I like supportive fathers :yep:
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the bear
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the only unconditional love is that shown by Our Lord to us His fallen creatures. Jesus loved us so much that He allowed the Romans to murder Him ?
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Oxford Mum
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I married for love, however my husband never loved me. So it didn’t work.
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erhcdes
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#11
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I think what you're referring to is infatuation or lust. Love is respect and trust, and grows over time. Infatuation, on the other hand, fades very quickly once you realise someone isn't what you want them to be.

https://images.slideplayer.com/35/10...s/slide_23.jpg <- see here.
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