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Teacher who assaulted me being promoted. Do I say something?

Not trolling. Would rather not give details here but it was a few years ago now, when I was 15, and I'm currently 19. He was somewhere in his mid 20s and is probably approaching 30 now.
I used to go to an all girls Catholic high school. There was a young male teacher there. I am a lesbian, and always knew this, but I pretended to like boys when I was that age, in fear of being "outed" and would go on dates with the students at the all boys equivalent of our school. As I was unattracted to them, I was never willing to do more than kiss and as they are teenage boys, they dumped me as soon as they realised this, and so I wound up dating a different guy basically every week in a bid to hide my lesbianism.
After a while I made friends with a closeted gay guy at the boys school and we agreed to fake date so people thought we were a straight couple. We "dated" for the rest of high school, and had been together for about 5 months when this happened.
Unfortunately, this guy bore a vague resemblance to the young male teacher. I didn't notice it but after a while people began to point it out - both tall and blonde, with green eyes and kind of sporty - aside from that they weren't that similar.
However, before I knew it there were rumours spreading round that this guy and the teacher were both my "type" and people thought I might have a crush on this teacher.
At the same time this happened, I forgot a piece of homework for his lesson. This was my fourth time forgetting homework this year, which meant an after school detention with this teacher.

ASSAULT TW
We were alone in this classroom and he asked me why I hadn't got it done, and I told him (truthfully) that I was struggling with it. He told me to come sit with him at his desk on the same side he was on and he could get up the powerpoint on his laptop to show me. I didn't trust it but I also didn't see what else I could do so he pulled up a chair next to his and I sat at his desk.
Everything was fine, for like, 5 minutes, and we actually got some work done, but then I felt one of his hands on my back, and this hand went from drawing circles all over my back to tracing over the strap of my bra. I lied and said I was cold so I could pull on my blazer and he wouldn't be able to feel anything any more. I knew something was up and had a bad feeling so when I put my blazer on I reached in my pocket, where my switched on phone was, pressed the camera button, and when he next turned away I set it to video, and angled it. I couldn't get a perfect angle because I was right next to him and trying to be subtle, and as a result about half of the view was obscured, but the other half caught his face and what happened next.
The blazer kept his hands off me for a bit but then he put his hand on my knee and started tracing from my knee to my inner thigh, with his hand going under the bottom of my skirt. The camera caught the movement of his arm and his face.
I turned to face him, ready to ask wtf he was doing, and that was when he kissed me and his hand went fully under my skirt. Again, the camera caught the arm movement and the kiss.
It also caught me pushing him away and him saying "what's wrong, I thought I was your type" before trying to kiss me again. Then the screen goes black and there's some loud banging noises, which by my memory is me getting up, grabbing my bag, and making a run for it.
END OF TW

After this happened I first met my "boyfriend" at the school gates and told him everything. He encouraged me to apply for a transfer with another teacher for this lesson, which I got. I also emailed one of the vice principals asking to talk to him about this teacher, but when he replied I panicked and said it was no big deal.
It looks like the teacher is now up for a promotion to vice principal. The person whose job he would be taking was asked to resign and the rumour is that he was dismissed for doing something similar with another student, so my guess is that they want to check that this guy doesn't have something similar going on, and while checking up on him, found either my email from a couple of years ago or a possible follow up from the other teacher. Whatever the situation, they've emailed me asking if I can shed some light on the email I sent. And I still have the video.

Do I say something or do I leave it alone? Odds are I'm not the only girl he's done this to, but I want to be done with it. I don't want to go over this whole thing again but I'm probably the only girl with actual evidence. What do I do?
Definitely say something if you can it could be stopping it happening to others you can tell them you don’t want to get too involved but considering you have video evidence it shouldn’t be too much of a fight
Original post by Anonymous
Not trolling. Would rather not give details here but it was a few years ago now, when I was 15, and I'm currently 19. He was somewhere in his mid 20s and is probably approaching 30 now.
I used to go to an all girls Catholic high school. There was a young male teacher there. I am a lesbian, and always knew this, but I pretended to like boys when I was that age, in fear of being "outed" and would go on dates with the students at the all boys equivalent of our school. As I was unattracted to them, I was never willing to do more than kiss and as they are teenage boys, they dumped me as soon as they realised this, and so I wound up dating a different guy basically every week in a bid to hide my lesbianism.
After a while I made friends with a closeted gay guy at the boys school and we agreed to fake date so people thought we were a straight couple. We "dated" for the rest of high school, and had been together for about 5 months when this happened.
Unfortunately, this guy bore a vague resemblance to the young male teacher. I didn't notice it but after a while people began to point it out - both tall and blonde, with green eyes and kind of sporty - aside from that they weren't that similar.
However, before I knew it there were rumours spreading round that this guy and the teacher were both my "type" and people thought I might have a crush on this teacher.
At the same time this happened, I forgot a piece of homework for his lesson. This was my fourth time forgetting homework this year, which meant an after school detention with this teacher.

ASSAULT TW
We were alone in this classroom and he asked me why I hadn't got it done, and I told him (truthfully) that I was struggling with it. He told me to come sit with him at his desk on the same side he was on and he could get up the powerpoint on his laptop to show me. I didn't trust it but I also didn't see what else I could do so he pulled up a chair next to his and I sat at his desk.
Everything was fine, for like, 5 minutes, and we actually got some work done, but then I felt one of his hands on my back, and this hand went from drawing circles all over my back to tracing over the strap of my bra. I lied and said I was cold so I could pull on my blazer and he wouldn't be able to feel anything any more. I knew something was up and had a bad feeling so when I put my blazer on I reached in my pocket, where my switched on phone was, pressed the camera button, and when he next turned away I set it to video, and angled it. I couldn't get a perfect angle because I was right next to him and trying to be subtle, and as a result about half of the view was obscured, but the other half caught his face and what happened next.
The blazer kept his hands off me for a bit but then he put his hand on my knee and started tracing from my knee to my inner thigh, with his hand going under the bottom of my skirt. The camera caught the movement of his arm and his face.
I turned to face him, ready to ask wtf he was doing, and that was when he kissed me and his hand went fully under my skirt. Again, the camera caught the arm movement and the kiss.
It also caught me pushing him away and him saying "what's wrong, I thought I was your type" before trying to kiss me again. Then the screen goes black and there's some loud banging noises, which by my memory is me getting up, grabbing my bag, and making a run for it.
END OF TW

After this happened I first met my "boyfriend" at the school gates and told him everything. He encouraged me to apply for a transfer with another teacher for this lesson, which I got. I also emailed one of the vice principals asking to talk to him about this teacher, but when he replied I panicked and said it was no big deal.
It looks like the teacher is now up for a promotion to vice principal. The person whose job he would be taking was asked to resign and the rumour is that he was dismissed for doing something similar with another student, so my guess is that they want to check that this guy doesn't have something similar going on, and while checking up on him, found either my email from a couple of years ago or a possible follow up from the other teacher. Whatever the situation, they've emailed me asking if I can shed some light on the email I sent. And I still have the video.

Do I say something or do I leave it alone? Odds are I'm not the only girl he's done this to, but I want to be done with it. I don't want to go over this whole thing again but I'm probably the only girl with actual evidence. What do I do?


Have you still got the video? I would tell if it was me.
YES! Why would you not, many girls out there have gone through the same thing and by not saying anything he can go on to harass other girls! COME ON: take one for the team ...
PLEASE tell someone! Not only for your peace of mind but this can stop other vulnerable girls who could be assaulted in the future! I hope youre okay and he needs to get what he deserves, sick f^ck
Reply 5
Original post by Charlyleeds
Definitely say something if you can it could be stopping it happening to others you can tell them you don’t want to get too involved but considering you have video evidence it shouldn’t be too much of a fight

Original post by Muttley79
Have you still got the video? I would tell if it was me.

Original post by Anonymous
YES! Why would you not, many girls out there have gone through the same thing and by not saying anything he can go on to harass other girls! COME ON: take one for the team ...

Original post by wxgmak
PLEASE tell someone! Not only for your peace of mind but this can stop other vulnerable girls who could be assaulted in the future! I hope youre okay and he needs to get what he deserves, sick f^ck

I still have the video. That wasn't the only time I went through something like this in school and it's gotten to the stage where even thinking about going back makes me feel ill. My "boyfriend" at the time is willing to tell them about how I was after it happened but I'm scared. Even with the video, they'll want me to come in, to interview, and they'll have him in the room with me able to argue against me. In my first post I said I dated a lot of guys. It got to the stage where there was a different guy waiting for me at the gate every week. I wound up with a terrible reputation and everyone thought I was a s|ut. I ran into the principal the last time I went home and she took a minute to place me but when she did it was as "the one with all the boyfriends". I know the video would go a long way but I'm not sure I'm the right girl to report him.
Reply 6
Original post by Anonymous
I still have the video. That wasn't the only time I went through something like this in school and it's gotten to the stage where even thinking about going back makes me feel ill. My "boyfriend" at the time is willing to tell them about how I was after it happened but I'm scared. Even with the video, they'll want me to come in, to interview, and they'll have him in the room with me able to argue against me. In my first post I said I dated a lot of guys. It got to the stage where there was a different guy waiting for me at the gate every week. I wound up with a terrible reputation and everyone thought I was a s|ut. I ran into the principal the last time I went home and she took a minute to place me but when she did it was as "the one with all the boyfriends". I know the video would go a long way but I'm not sure I'm the right girl to report him.

What are you trying to even do?

You report him or you don't, simple as. Why create so much fuss over it?
Original post by Anonymous
I still have the video. That wasn't the only time I went through something like this in school and it's gotten to the stage where even thinking about going back makes me feel ill. My "boyfriend" at the time is willing to tell them about how I was after it happened but I'm scared. Even with the video, they'll want me to come in, to interview, and they'll have him in the room with me able to argue against me. In my first post I said I dated a lot of guys. It got to the stage where there was a different guy waiting for me at the gate every week. I wound up with a terrible reputation and everyone thought I was a s|ut. I ran into the principal the last time I went home and she took a minute to place me but when she did it was as "the one with all the boyfriends". I know the video would go a long way but I'm not sure I'm the right girl to report him.

You won't be in the same room as him. Don't let him win - how many more girls do you want him to assault?

How many boyfriends you had is irrelevant here ...
Teachers are in a position of trust. They should not be abusing that trust.

I was actually training to be a teacher at one point and, whilst not seeing this sort of thing directly, I saw a lot of instances where students were being failed. Some of my "colleagues" were absolutely vile people of the highest order (some were even fast-tracked to lucrative positions!). I also saw instances where genuinely nice and hard-working teachers were trying to help their students but getting treated badly.

I would advise you to look into what charities/support groups are available to you right now and run it past them. I'm not sure WHO you can turn to, but a quick google may help :smile: They should be able to advise you further. Personally, as long as you do have the concrete evidence, I would like to see you make an issue out of this because teachers shouldn't be acting like this (and I'm not merely talking about the SCHOOL but rather the governing bodies). It is an abuse of trust and an abuse of their position. BUT yes, I would recommend looking for charities (the NHS?) for guidance on this.

What have your parents said like?
No girl is ever gonna feel like theyre the right person for the job. Dont you wish some other girl would have reported him so you would never have to experience something like this? Youre an adult, saying someone is a "SLUT" isn't gonna be used in court. If you don't feel comfortable going to court you can try and get the medias attention by emailing many news outlets and sending the video and background story. ANY help is good enough. You have the power to stop this man, PLEASE USE IT!
Original post by Anonymous
I still have the video. That wasn't the only time I went through something like this in school and it's gotten to the stage where even thinking about going back makes me feel ill. My "boyfriend" at the time is willing to tell them about how I was after it happened but I'm scared. Even with the video, they'll want me to come in, to interview, and they'll have him in the room with me able to argue against me. In my first post I said I dated a lot of guys. It got to the stage where there was a different guy waiting for me at the gate every week. I wound up with a terrible reputation and everyone thought I was a s|ut. I ran into the principal the last time I went home and she took a minute to place me but when she did it was as "the one with all the boyfriends". I know the video would go a long way but I'm not sure I'm the right girl to report him.
Original post by Muttley79
You won't be in the same room as him. Don't let him win - how many more girls do you want him to assault?

How many boyfriends you had is irrelevant here ...

Original post by Thermic_Marlin
Teachers are in a position of trust. They should not be abusing that trust.

I was actually training to be a teacher at one point and, whilst not seeing this sort of thing directly, I saw a lot of instances where students were being failed. Some of my "colleagues" were absolutely vile people of the highest order (some were even fast-tracked to lucrative positions!). I also saw instances where genuinely nice and hard-working teachers were trying to help their students but getting treated badly.

I would advise you to look into what charities/support groups are available to you right now and run it past them. I'm not sure WHO you can turn to, but a quick google may help :smile: They should be able to advise you further. Personally, as long as you do have the concrete evidence, I would like to see you make an issue out of this because teachers shouldn't be acting like this (and I'm not merely talking about the SCHOOL but rather the governing bodies). It is an abuse of trust and an abuse of their position. BUT yes, I would recommend looking for charities (the NHS?) for guidance on this.

What have your parents said like?

Original post by wxgmak
No girl is ever gonna feel like theyre the right person for the job. Dont you wish some other girl would have reported him so you would never have to experience something like this? Youre an adult, saying someone is a "SLUT" isn't gonna be used in court. If you don't feel comfortable going to court you can try and get the medias attention by emailing many news outlets and sending the video and background story. ANY help is good enough. You have the power to stop this man, PLEASE USE IT!

My parents don't know anything happened. The school told me that if something does come of my response then I'll have to go through the while event in front of a panel and he'll have the opportunity to respond and ask questions of his own. I want to stop him, and I know the video is pretty damning, but what if it isn't enough? I want to do something, but I've asked around the high school friends I'm still in contact with and I didn't get many details but I won't be the first girl to have said something. Basically, if I swing at him, I'd better not miss.
Police
Reply 12
Original post by Anonymous
My parents don't know anything happened. The school told me that if something does come of my response then I'll have to go through the while event in front of a panel and he'll have the opportunity to respond and ask questions of his own. I want to stop him, and I know the video is pretty damning, but what if it isn't enough? I want to do something, but I've asked around the high school friends I'm still in contact with and I didn't get many details but I won't be the first girl to have said something. Basically, if I swing at him, I'd better not miss.


If the video is clear and it has that audio then it will be enough. He’s abusing his position and these kinds of things can go further than touching and leave people badly hurt emotionally. You got out of this with him better than some, and can stop him doing it again.

Don’t let him keep doing this. It isn’t a false accusation and you can’t get in trouble, you even have evidence to back it up.
Reply 13
he took things too far. He literally forced himself on you. Seems like he is doing this to other girls but they only have their word against his so he hasn't been sacked, with your evidence he will be sacked.

If he gets to vice principle he'll only abuse his power more and be even harder to sack...
Reply 14
Original post by ANM775
he took things too far. He literally forced himself on you. Seems like he is doing this to other girls but they only have their word against his so he hasn't been sacked, with your evidence he will be sacked.

If he gets to vice principle he'll only abuse his power more and be even harder to sack...


It might also be harder for others to complain of other instances to him as he is also guilty of it. They might know so don’t try or he just doesn’t want to take the complaint seriously.
Original post by Anonymous
My parents don't know anything happened. The school told me that if something does come of my response then I'll have to go through the while event in front of a panel and he'll have the opportunity to respond and ask questions of his own. I want to stop him, and I know the video is pretty damning, but what if it isn't enough? I want to do something, but I've asked around the high school friends I'm still in contact with and I didn't get many details but I won't be the first girl to have said something. Basically, if I swing at him, I'd better not miss.

That's not exactly how it works. I've had to deal with allegations [not exactly like this one] but video evidence is compelling.
(edited 4 years ago)

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