Struggling Year 10 (soon to be Year 11) student Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 4 weeks ago
#1
Ever since the start of year 10, everything has gone down hill for me. I lost my friends and no longer have anyone I can confide what I feel/think in. The people who want to accompany me anywhere only do it for their personal benefit (receiving help from me on their work - which I don't mind at all; it's just that they neglect to think that I would perhaps like to converse other topics than school). I used to enjoy all my subjects and now I'm not doing as well as I want. My teachers have high expectations and I feel like I've failed myself and them and my family. There is so much I want to do with my life and I work extremely hard to get the best grades and the best job, but it's not working out. I hate watching my parents work day and night to earn money for my sister and I and listening to them cry when they struggle to earn enough for us both. I am struggling with weight and acne, which has reduced my self confidence to... nothing. Everything is just going in the opposite direction I want it to. And, as pathetic as it sounds, I'm jealous of the other students who are able to laugh and smile and live a carefree life that I'll never be able to have. I know I don't truly know the struggles they have in their lives but I just want to laugh and smile. I'm so tired of being a failure.
I'm so lost and I'm afraid by the time any one who can help realises that I'm not my true self anymore, it will be too late to get that 'me' back.
Please help me if you can.
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Anonymous~
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#2
Report 3 weeks ago
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Hi,I'm really sorry to hear you're having a hard time. Year 10/11 can be really tough and quite frankly, I think it's only gotten tougher over the last few years, so don't beat yourself up if you are struggling. As for your friends, is there a reason why you cut ties or did you just grow distant? If it's the last one, perhaps you can rekindle the friendship(s) by sending them a message or asking to hang out/catch up at some point. However, if you fell out, (depending on which party was in the wrong) you're probably better off without them in all honesty. You said people only accompany you for their own personal benefit- that's not okay. However, I can totally understand how you might not want to lose their company if you've lost your other friends. The thing is if people are only using you because you're smart and helping them with their work, eventually you could end up losing them too when they don't need you anymore. You need friends that see you value and treat you with respect. Do you do any sports or clubs? If so, then those are usually good platforms for forming friendships. If not, it's something to consider especially if you're feeling down. I would suggest you talk to someone- maybe a teacher, adviser or family member your close to if these issues are weighing on your heart. Mental health is really important so don't suffer in silence.There are some services where you can talk to people such as the Samaritans, here's a link to some others that might be useful:https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/stress...plines/Finally, you're not a failure just because you're struggling and going through a tough time. If you didn't have the potential to be great, people's expectations of you wouldn't be so high. At the end of the day, all you can do is your best and if that isn't enough for people, then tough for them. Everyone has their difficult times, some outwardly, some inwardly. The people you see laughing and smiling are either looking on the bright side or masking their own stuff, so try not to envy them. Lastly, if you need any help, get it. Whatever it takes, you are precious, you are LOVED and you are worth it.Hope this helps a little x
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Anonymous #1
#3
Report Thread starter 2 weeks ago
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Thank you so much for your reply. I really, really appreciate it. This has helped me quite a lot. Even though I'm still not in a better place, I'm going to try to be more optimistic. I know I won't be able to make friends as, even today, I was isolated from others by their words and actions. But, I'm trying to make up for that by being a kinder person to everyone and just focusing on my education for now, trying to stay out of everyone's way. I don't have anyone to talk to, but if it gets really bad, I'll make sure to get in contact with someone. I have done sports for 4 years and this year's clubs have just finished. Unfortunately, even through those, I just wasn't enough to be befriended by someone. But that's okay and I'll remember that the people who need help now will leave me when they are finished to avoid getting hurt.
Thank you once again for being so thoughtful with your response and taking the time to consider everything. It's helped me to encourage myself to be more optimistic.
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istanden
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Report 1 week ago
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the advice above is all great, but if you're really struggling to help yourself, you should talk to somebody, either a pastoral worker at school, a teacher, or your parents. you can also go to a doctor - they are the best person to help you with your mental health as they're trained. best of luck dear, i hope things look up for you soon xx
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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 1 week ago
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I hope things look up soon too, everything's just going wrong for me I guess.
thank you for your response x
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rjckk
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Report 1 week ago
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I'm sorry to hear that.
Do you still study well now?
Maybe you should gain more confidence.
You may PM me if you need help
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Anonymous #1
#7
Report Thread starter 1 week ago
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I believe I study well. I always try my best, even in the smallest of things. The one thing I'm not going to let go of is my grades because they are going to help me get the job I want in the future.
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Anonymous #1
#8
Report Thread starter 1 week ago
#8
In terms of gaining confidence, I believe I am fairly confident in front of others. I'm not confident in my abilities any more, however. This week I found out the position I had been wanting for 6 years of my life was given to someone else. I didn't even get the position below it. Now I've been shoved in with them in a team and the school expects us to share ideas. Honestly, I'm devastated. A part of me wants to be bitter but then I know that makes me a bad person. I don't want to be a bad person.
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