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    My girlfriend phoned me up yesterday saying that one of her housemates had called her a Paki was "a joke", infront of all of her other housemates (who are all white). In addition to this shes constantly making references and cant seem to get over the fact my gf isnt white. Shes not "a racist" per se, shes just very ignorant and insensitive. Anyhow my girlfriend got upset about it and her other housemates said it was way out of order. My girlfriend said it was below the belt and the girl who said it said she was sorry. Then my girlfriend said "oh its fine lets forget about it". My girlfriend then told me and I got really angry at her saying she was a fool for not standing up for herself properly and saying it was fine. She then said it was fine it happens all the time, and you cant change peoples views so whats the point. I in turn got a bit offended with her because ive had "casual" racism from people (im mixed race) and always stand up for myself and no i dont go out to change peoples views but I tell them good and proper that they're wrong and that will not say things like that (in front of me again). I know you'll all think im being over sensitive but im really angry that my girlfriend wont say more than "its fine" to someone who has repeatedly made questionable and ostracising comments over something that doesnt matter. Also im struggling to get to grips with the fact that my girlfriend thinks that anyone who is discriminated against should roll over and take it because it happens all the time and you cant change peoples views. Im quite pissed off with my girlfriend who seems to think her "friendship" with this girl is genuine despite the fact she has admitted she is constantly ignorant towards and has a problem with something my girlfriend inherently is. ARGH!
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    Please use paragraphs. You'll get more replies because its easier to read.
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    IMO, Your girlfriend is showing hell of a lot more integrity than the silly little girl making the nasty comments.

    You shouldn't be angry with her, but proud about the fact she is big enough to rise above it and not get into an argument with the quite obviously ignorant little girl who is not worth wasting time on.

    The fact you would deal with it differently doesnt make your way the right way, so let her deal with it the way she sees fit....
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    Normally to forget an insult after receiving an apology is the appropriate way to behave.
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    Uh, some people just aren't as pissy over such things.
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    Isnt it your girlfriends choice? If shes not particularly bothered about it then should you be?

    I wouldnt say it was lack of Integrity...you say these people are her housemates? Maybe shes trying to avoid an awkward situation that could compromise her happiness. Its your girlfriends choice...dont make her do or become something that shes not.

    You girlfriend has sorted problems out her way, respect that, and dont fall out over something that is between her and her 'friends'
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    (Original post by Kemik)
    Please use paragraphs. You'll get more replies because its easier to read.
    I agree - i nearly didn't read that because i was overwhelmed by the block of text. Still, i did read it, and i think perhaps you have over-reacted slightly, though i can appreciate you're view to an extent. Rather than your gf having "lack of integrity" maybe she just has a bit more realism and realises there's little to gain in making a big fuss over every little thing you don't agree with.

    We all want to change the world, but we can't, so having a good way of dealing with everything that's **** in it is sometimes better than just moaning to deaf ears.

    I'm not having a dig at you OP; this is my attempt at helping you achieve some middle ground when things don't always turn out how you want

    uth =]
 
 
 
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