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How flirty is too flirty?
Right my gf can be very very flirty with blokes even when Im around and we've talked about it before and she said she would try and tone it down. She is still amazingly flirty with guys though and I think its just how she is with guys without realising it. I know nothing will happen and a bit of flirting is fine and I'm not that bothered but it does annoy me sometimes and so we started making a semi-serious list of all the things that are "too filrty" that neither of us can do in future.
We have:
1) No touching espesh strokes on arm, leg etc. With exception of hugs hello/goodbye/when upset as long as they're "freindly hugs" - Not too close.
2) No exessive use of sexual jokes (we all know the stuff "omg that [object] is sooo big" "thats not the last time you'll be saying that tonight". Thats what she said is exempt from this rule because its always neccessary.
3) Compliments to members of opposite sex to be kept to a minimum. "You look nice" etc is one thing but when its all the time it does start to grate.
So what would you guys count as too flirty from your bf/gf? Just looking for list additions.
We have:
1) No touching espesh strokes on arm, leg etc. With exception of hugs hello/goodbye/when upset as long as they're "freindly hugs" - Not too close.
2) No exessive use of sexual jokes (we all know the stuff "omg that [object] is sooo big" "thats not the last time you'll be saying that tonight". Thats what she said is exempt from this rule because its always neccessary.
3) Compliments to members of opposite sex to be kept to a minimum. "You look nice" etc is one thing but when its all the time it does start to grate.
So what would you guys count as too flirty from your bf/gf? Just looking for list additions.
All those seem actually fine to me, and not that big of adeal with flirting 
Bakunin
Two points
a)You know when a girl flirts she does it for fun, when a guy hears this he thinks he gets to have sex.
b)I think the fact you have rules about how much you're allowed to flirt means you should have a quick look at your relationship. Sorry to say mate.
a)You know when a girl flirts she does it for fun, when a guy hears this he thinks he gets to have sex.
b)I think the fact you have rules about how much you're allowed to flirt means you should have a quick look at your relationship. Sorry to say mate.
Sorry but i agree with this. You have trust issues if you have to have a list. you said you dont think she knows shes doing it, or means any harm by it. so why do you need a list?!
I agree bitterendx, the only thing I would say strikeuptheband is where she is paying more attention to others than you.
Like I said the list is a co-lab thing between both of us and isnt really sposed to be taken all that seriously. It does bug me some times but I know its just a bit of fun and apparently Im almost as bad lol.
I am exactly like your girlfriend - I apparently flirt with all guys, including male teachers (embarrassing..) and it's completely unintentional.
I don't think my boyfriend minds too much because it literally is just what I'm like, but I do know that my apparent "flirting" is more in my manner (smiling, chatty, joking, playing with hair maybe? - basically all totally subconscious things) rather than things like 'touching or stroking their arm' or 'over complimenting'. The list is a good idea, but is it really those things she does that bug you? Or is it just her manner, kind of like i'm describing about myself?
I would add grinding or excessively sexy dancing to that list maybe..?
I don't think my boyfriend minds too much because it literally is just what I'm like, but I do know that my apparent "flirting" is more in my manner (smiling, chatty, joking, playing with hair maybe? - basically all totally subconscious things) rather than things like 'touching or stroking their arm' or 'over complimenting'. The list is a good idea, but is it really those things she does that bug you? Or is it just her manner, kind of like i'm describing about myself?
I would add grinding or excessively sexy dancing to that list maybe..?
Yeah thats exactly the problem we had was in defining flirting coz its just kinda something you do. It also made me realise I dont really have a problem with it so now I just kinda joke about it whenever she does it and I'm around.
I have a friend in a relationship (male) and I think he's FAR too flirty around the girls. I mean, it's one thing to be comfortable with us, and have a good time but especially around me, I just sort of start to feel sorry for his girlfriend i.e.:
- Me and him always watch films together in his room, irrespective of whether anyone will be joining us or not. We almost always share his bed... nothing happens but still!
- We were all out sunbathing, and I was lying on my front, and he lay with his head on my back.
- He "grinds" me in clubs and puts his arm around me sometimes, even giving me his jacket.
- The worst thing - I think he knows that I have a soft spot for him, but keeps on doing it because he likes the attention he gets from me (but note - I would never EVER do anything with him)
If I was his girlfriend, I would NOT be happy with him and probably try and ban him from seeing me - but its things that to me seem fine because it never clicks that he has a girlfriend because I've never met her, and when I do I feel guilty and worry about it
- Me and him always watch films together in his room, irrespective of whether anyone will be joining us or not. We almost always share his bed... nothing happens but still!
- We were all out sunbathing, and I was lying on my front, and he lay with his head on my back.
- He "grinds" me in clubs and puts his arm around me sometimes, even giving me his jacket.
- The worst thing - I think he knows that I have a soft spot for him, but keeps on doing it because he likes the attention he gets from me (but note - I would never EVER do anything with him)
If I was his girlfriend, I would NOT be happy with him and probably try and ban him from seeing me - but its things that to me seem fine because it never clicks that he has a girlfriend because I've never met her, and when I do I feel guilty and worry about it
22KT22
Sorry but i agree with this. You have trust issues if you have to have a list. you said you dont think she knows shes doing it, or means any harm by it. so why do you need a list?!
QFT
Related discussions
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- What do you think about this?
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