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He's not interested, how do I tell her?

Hi everyone :h:

Letters have been substituted for the real names for privacy and I'm anonymous so this can't been seen by the people involved.

A, one of my best friends and this guy, B (who is sort of a friend to both of us, although we aren't particularly close to him) were talking about potentially getting into a relationship.

This bit might get letter-y and confusing, sorry :facepalm:
Today, I was speaking to B's best friend, C (I'm more closer with C than B). C told me that B had told him about A liking him (B). To put things in short: B doesn't think that A is attractive as what his normal "type" is and it sounds to me that B might be playing with A's feelings which I feel really bad about, because she really likes him.

We're all now on summer holidays and I think I should tell A about what I know, but I will only see her in group settings rather than privately when we are face-to-face and I think that telling her over text would be difficult because I don't want her misunderstanding anything. There are only 2 people that know about the situation between A and B: me and another friend. I can't risk others overhearing because I don't think A is comfortable with telling others yet.

How do I tell A without hurting her feelings because I know she REALLY liked this guy? Should I just do this over text where we can talk privately? Or should I even tell her at all?

TL;DR > Girl likes boy. Boy thinks girl is not his type, but girl doesn't know this. How do I tell the girl?
Reply 1
Bump?
Let them do what they want
If it is clear he is playing with feelings, let her know
Otherwise don't, types mean nothing in relationships and he may be open to getting to know her more and her personality which is ultimately more important
Original post by Anonymous
Hi everyone :h:

Letters have been substituted for the real names for privacy and I'm anonymous so this can't been seen by the people involved.

A, one of my best friends and this guy, B (who is sort of a friend to both of us, although we aren't particularly close to him) were talking about potentially getting into a relationship.

This bit might get letter-y and confusing, sorry :facepalm:
Today, I was speaking to B's best friend, C (I'm more closer with C than B). C told me that B had told him about A liking him (B). To put things in short: B doesn't think that A is attractive as what his normal "type" is and it sounds to me that B might be playing with A's feelings which I feel really bad about, because she really likes him.

We're all now on summer holidays and I think I should tell A about what I know, but I will only see her in group settings rather than privately when we are face-to-face and I think that telling her over text would be difficult because I don't want her misunderstanding anything. There are only 2 people that know about the situation between A and B: me and another friend. I can't risk others overhearing because I don't think A is comfortable with telling others yet.

How do I tell A without hurting her feelings because I know she REALLY liked this guy? Should I just do this over text where we can talk privately? Or should I even tell her at all?

TL;DR > Girl likes boy. Boy thinks girl is not his type, but girl doesn't know this. How do I tell the girl?

How old are u guys?
Original post by Anonymous
Hi everyone :h:

Letters have been substituted for the real names for privacy and I'm anonymous so this can't been seen by the people involved.

A, one of my best friends and this guy, B (who is sort of a friend to both of us, although we aren't particularly close to him) were talking about potentially getting into a relationship.

This bit might get letter-y and confusing, sorry :facepalm:
Today, I was speaking to B's best friend, C (I'm more closer with C than B). C told me that B had told him about A liking him (B). To put things in short: B doesn't think that A is attractive as what his normal "type" is and it sounds to me that B might be playing with A's feelings which I feel really bad about, because she really likes him.

We're all now on summer holidays and I think I should tell A about what I know, but I will only see her in group settings rather than privately when we are face-to-face and I think that telling her over text would be difficult because I don't want her misunderstanding anything. There are only 2 people that know about the situation between A and B: me and another friend. I can't risk others overhearing because I don't think A is comfortable with telling others yet.

How do I tell A without hurting her feelings because I know she REALLY liked this guy? Should I just do this over text where we can talk privately? Or should I even tell her at all?

TL;DR > Girl likes boy. Boy thinks girl is not his type, but girl doesn't know this. How do I tell the girl?


Tell her he is gay.
Reply 5
Original post by AzureCeleste
Let them do what they want
If it is clear he is playing with feelings, let her know
Otherwise don't, types mean nothing in relationships and he may be open to getting to know her more and her personality which is ultimately more important

Thanks for the reply :hugs:

Do I tell her about this or should I just let it slide? I feel like telling her because he's saying one thing to her face and then another to C. Idk what do do...
For the love of common sense why not just use alternative names.
Reply 7
Original post by TheNamesBond.
For the love of common sense why not just use alternative names.

I'm sorry, I read over it after posting and I wanted to do it, but since I'm anon it wouldn't let me haha
Original post by Anonymous
Thanks for the reply :hugs:

Do I tell her about this or should I just let it slide? I feel like telling her because he's saying one thing to her face and then another to C. Idk what do do...


How different are we talking?
If he's just said he's not her type then leave it. If he's said other stuff then maybe mention it- does it sound like he's using her
Reply 9
Original post by Anonymous
How old are u guys?

16


Original post by MillennialX
Tell her he is gay.

She knows he's not, he's told her he's straight in the past as well. :lol:
Original post by AzureCeleste
How different are we talking?
If he's just said he's not her type then leave it. If he's said other stuff then maybe mention it- does it sound like he's using her

Different as in he's told her he likes her to her face and he would go out with her, then says he doesn't to the friend.
It does sound like he's using her, but I have no idea how the heck to bring it up arghhh.
Original post by Anonymous
Different as in he's told her he likes her to her face and he would go out with her, then says he doesn't to the friend.
It does sound like he's using her, but I have no idea how the heck to bring it up arghhh.


But what has he said to the friend?
Is it just she's not normally my type? Has he mentioned he likes her personality or he's willing to give it a go?
Or is it just, I don't find her attractive
Reply 12
You could always use the classic phone call, don't know why people hate them so much these days
Original post by AzureCeleste
But what has he said to the friend?
Is it just she's not normally my type? Has he mentioned he likes her personality or he's willing to give it a go?
Or is it just, I don't find her attractive

Just "I don't find her attractive". Apparently he mentioned that my friend's not the "pretty" girl he wants (he must be blind, she's gorgeous and this is without bias). I feel like if he's being so different to her face than what he's saying behind her back, she deserves to know the truth, right? But I just want to know if it's a good move.
Original post by Anonymous
Just "I don't find her attractive". Apparently he mentioned that my friend's not the "pretty" girl he wants (he must be blind, she's gorgeous and this is without bias). I feel like if he's being so different to her face than what he's saying behind her back, she deserves to know the truth, right? But I just want to know if it's a good move.

Personally I'd hold back until I her some more and not just if she's attractive. If this is something that is mentioned further down the line in a relationship then maybe
Original post by AzureCeleste
Personally I'd hold back until I her some more and not just if she's attractive. If this is something that is mentioned further down the line in a relationship then maybe

That's the thing, I don't want to f*** up a potential relationship. :lol:

Thanks for the help, it's much appreciated :hugs:

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