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    #1

    I'm 18 next week - and have wasted about 2 years being depressed, lonely, a push over, letting people bully me and generally hating myself
    and never going out.

    When i was 14/15 I'd go out, have boyfriends. Then I got hit by this nasty girl at my school. She stole my boyfriend then decided to "go after" me to give her some street cred or whatever :s: I let it affect me a lot.

    Well I just feel bad that I have stayed in, not having relationships (with friends or boys) for 2 years. I've been completely isolated and was bullied. I shouldn't have been so weak.

    I should change things, I'm just thinking that things will never change because i can't change. I'll always be this scared, sensitive girl with no self esteem. I just can't cope.
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    Forget about it, move on..

    If you keep thinking about it it'll only mess with your head even more.
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    Hey, it seems like now would be the time to try and become more positive about yourself!! See your 18th as being a turnaround, go out with your family and friends, contact some old friends and enjoy yourself!! Don't feel bad about anything, none of it is your fault, something happened and it seems to have had quite a major impact on your life! But as I said, start looking forward to things, do things you enjoy, perhaps take up a new sport, join a youth center! Hope all goes well for you PM me if you want to talk

    Alex
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    You're still young! As Rei said, forget about it and move on! Spend the summer holidays making up for it, then when you go to Uni be the person you want (and can) be!
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    Not having relationships isn't the end of the world and by no means a waste of time, after all, it's two years. What can you do about it? Leave the past where it is and move on, you're better than this girl who bullied you
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Then I got hit by this nasty girl at my school. She stole my boyfriend then decided to "go after" me to give her some street cred or whatever :s:.
    The sort of people that do this only do it because they feel insecure about themselves so need to make someone else feel bad to make them feel better.

    I'm sure you havent wasted the last 2 years just try and forget about this girl and other nasty people and live your life to its fullest from now on.

    • #1
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    #1

    thanks people, I know i really should just move on i just have so much anxiety and I'm not used to being around people anymore. I've lost any confidence I had.
    I know I'm 18 (soon) i feel like I've missed out on my main teen years just being a loner. gah.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    thanks people, I know i really should just move on i just have so much anxiety and I'm not used to being around people anymore. I've lost any confidence I had.
    I know I'm 18 (soon) i feel like I've missed out on my main teen years just being a loner. gah.
    Just because you're 18, it doesn't mean you suddenly have to flourish and have an amazing life, that's just social pressure. Take your time, when you've regained your confidence and ready to get back into having a busy social life, start again
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    Don't worry about it, the best you can do is really see that now is the time to change, which is fully within your capabilities. As well as this, loads of people say uni is the best time ever, so if you are applied/have applied you know you've got great years to come, and if not, you will probably be working soon so you will meet new people and make new friends. The best you can do is believe that you can change, you can't change the past, but the future is up for taking! Good luck
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    #1

    No I'm not going to Uni. After my AS Levels I left sixthform. I simply was 2 depressed and suffered so much social anxiety i couldn't leave the house. I have really wasted the last year, inside depressed and wanting to kill myself.

    I am not sure whether to finish my A2s at another Collage next Sept, I'd like to do so just don't know if I'd be ready.
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    On a similar but less serious level, I was recently 20. And normally where I don't think about birthdays, one more day etc, I found myself wondering what the hell I've done with my life, and had some regrets about how I've spent my teens. But then I realised the silliness of thinking like that. I'm still young, and there is time enough for all I want to do.
    I'm telling you that so you know I can empathise, and whilst you have gone through worse because of this bullying, I still know how you feel. You're 18 now and really, beginning the prime of your life. Forget everything that has happened before. Crush it all up and stick it in a little box in the back of your mind. Try to think of this as an oppourtunity to start enjoying life -maybe you're going to uni in September, for instance. That will be incredible. All you can do now is learn from past events and try to live your life to the full. Socialise a bit with your friends, hopefully there is someone in your life who can give you support you if you need it. Otherwise, we're always here.
    edit: Just saw you're not going to uni. It's worth considering doing your A2s and then applying for uni. A working gap year would be a good thing to do to. Travelling will build your esteem and confidence, when in the middle of nowhere you'd be surprised how well you can cope.
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    I have been in a similar position to the thread starter....first of all, I'd definately recommend counselling or even better CBT...I had CBT and it stopped my anxiety - you realise that you can't change what happens or what has happened in the world BUT you can change your response and therefore how you feel about what happens.

    It really really helped....you should be able to go to the GP and request it (all confidential, very professional and sympathetic) or get it privately, though it would be expensive. But seriously, there's no shame in asking for help

    Also, I'd strongly recommend not trying to forget about your past two years, don't be ashamed of them...realise that they actually strengthened you as a person, and taught you a lot.
    Also, life is what you make it...you don't need to have lots of friends/boyfriends etc to be happy....the only true way to be happy I believe is to love yourself and be content

    Ooh also I'd recommend 'the highly sensitive person' by elaine n. aron and 'the mental health handbook' by trevor powell.

    Good luck!

    Love xx
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    I say just go for it. I spent alot of my time at school feeling very self concious and on my own. I was bullied alot throughout primary school and most of secondary and it completely threw me. I ended up going to a different college and it was the best decision I've ever made. Made an awesome group of friends, met my boyfriend who I'm still with 2 years later and really enjoyed myself. I'm just finishing a gap year and I'm off to uni in September. The thing is, you just need to forget about things that have happened and look to the future. If you're worried you've wasted two years then don't waste anymore. It probably seems scary now, but it'll be worth it.
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    Bottom line, after school no one cares about ''Street Cred'' If you change college or go to Uni, everyone is in the same boat and no one cares if you were in the football team or the computer club. Change college, make some new friends and you will be fine just try and be a bit more confident and it works wonders. I was quite shy when I came to uni, I hid in my room and didn't talk to anyone. Then I thought, ''**** this'' went on a night out with them and now have some amazing friends, its all about making the effort

    Hope this helps!

    xxx
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm 18 next week - and have wasted about 2 years being depressed, lonely, a push over, letting people bully me and generally hating myself
    and never going out.

    When i was 14/15 I'd go out, have boyfriends.

    I should change things, I'm just thinking that things will never change because i can't change.
    You have done once already. Why couldn't it happen again?
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    Firstly, there's no way you've completely wasted 2 years. There will be loads of things you've forgotten about in that time that you enjoyed. In terms of the relationship thing, don't worry at all. A lot of people have never even been in a relationship at 18, or 19 or 20. You're still plenty young enough to move on.
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    Just think of it as those 2 years have gone and they are part of your life but only a small part so now its time to move on and make the most of all the time you have. Try counselling maybe or just gradually getting yourself out there. Join a club maybe to start meeting new friends. PM me if you want to chat.
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    If I went by your standards - I'd have wasted 20 years of my life - do you really think that's how I feel? No of course not!
    I'm doing great.
    Have you done nothing these 2 years i.e. not worked, not studied etc?
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    i have a lot of social anxiety, im starting a new college. I think its good to go somewhere else where you can start fresh with new people
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    Just sleep This time next year you wont even think like this!! You will be wherever and something will come up! Just dont keep thinking about it!
 
 
 
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