The Student Room Group

What's wrong with me?

Hi I'll get a lot of hate for this post, basically I get so jealous of my boyfriend talking to his friends but not because I don't want him to talk to them / hang around with them but because my friends don't even try to talk to
Me or hang out with me,they've never tried and it bugs me, but my boyfriend dms and speaks to his friends a lot, I basically have no friends and have tried so hard to make new friends and to hang out with mine but Nobody will / nobody sticks around for me and it's getting to me more and more. I hate the thought on my boyfriend on the Xbox talking to his friends,but it's not because I don't want him to have fun with his friends it's because I'm jealous that his friends actually Care, I feel so down knowing I have basically no friends and no matter how hard I try nobody sticks around, I'm about to start sixth form / college in September and I'm terrified to speak to people because I know I'll make no friends but also I'm losing my only close friends as they are going elsewhere and moving on, I feel so alone and I don't know what to do, I'm not stopping my boyfriend from talking to his friends obviously because they are all lovely and make him happy, the issue is with me and the fact I have no friends who even try and I feel so bad, help me please ?? Hopefully this makes sense I'm too upset to even think straight rn.
Original post by Anonymous
Hi I'll get a lot of hate for this post, basically I get so jealous of my boyfriend talking to his friends but not because I don't want him to talk to them / hang around with them but because my friends don't even try to talk to
Me or hang out with me,they've never tried and it bugs me, but my boyfriend dms and speaks to his friends a lot, I basically have no friends and have tried so hard to make new friends and to hang out with mine but Nobody will / nobody sticks around for me and it's getting to me more and more. I hate the thought on my boyfriend on the Xbox talking to his friends,but it's not because I don't want him to have fun with his friends it's because I'm jealous that his friends actually Care, I feel so down knowing I have basically no friends and no matter how hard I try nobody sticks around, I'm about to start sixth form / college in September and I'm terrified to speak to people because I know I'll make no friends but also I'm losing my only close friends as they are going elsewhere and moving on, I feel so alone and I don't know what to do, I'm not stopping my boyfriend from talking to his friends obviously because they are all lovely and make him happy, the issue is with me and the fact I have no friends who even try and I feel so bad, help me please ?? Hopefully this makes sense I'm too upset to even think straight rn.


So it seems to me the only reason your are jealous is because you want what he has.
In that case you need to brush up on your soft skills for friendship making as well as cut out any factors which deter people from being a friend.
You can practice this over the summer with a view to knowing what you are doing as well being confident to do it. Sam,e skills for uni as well.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Teenage-Guide-Friends-Nicola-Morgan/dp/1406369772/ref=sr_1_2?keywords=teenage+making+friends&qid=1561302758&s=gateway&sr=8-2

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Friends-Influence-People-Teen-Girls/dp/0743272773/ref=pd_rhf_se_s_cr_simh_1_3/257-5731283-4811052?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=0743272773&pd_rd_r=688d0c8e-414a-4593-a654-0083086d9d71&pd_rd_w=hC6WG&pd_rd_wg=a2cCl&pf_rd_p=d28564e3-4a06-4327-b297-9589b9095266&pf_rd_r=1KKBMQAQZC8ZPYNWF78S&psc=1&refRID=1KKBMQAQZC8ZPYNWF78S

Get the cheapest second hand copy.
Reply 2
Original post by 999tigger
So it seems to me the only reason your are jealous is because you want what he has.
In that case you need to brush up on your soft skills for friendship making as well as cut out any factors which deter people from being a friend.
You can practice this over the summer with a view to knowing what you are doing as well being confident to do it. Sam,e skills for uni as well.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Teenage-Guide-Friends-Nicola-Morgan/dp/1406369772/ref=sr_1_2?keywords=teenage+making+friends&qid=1561302758&s=gateway&sr=8-2

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Friends-Influence-People-Teen-Girls/dp/0743272773/ref=pd_rhf_se_s_cr_simh_1_3/257-5731283-4811052?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=0743272773&pd_rd_r=688d0c8e-414a-4593-a654-0083086d9d71&pd_rd_w=hC6WG&pd_rd_wg=a2cCl&pf_rd_p=d28564e3-4a06-4327-b297-9589b9095266&pf_rd_r=1KKBMQAQZC8ZPYNWF78S&psc=1&refRID=1KKBMQAQZC8ZPYNWF78S

Get the cheapest second hand copy.


Thank you for replying! Yes it's more I want to have the friendships he does, I've discussed it with him but I struggle to tell him fully what bothers me but thank you for recommending this!! It's difficult for me because he's like the only person I KNOW will talk to me and I think
Subconsciously I think if he's talking to his friends I've lost him, I know that's not the case and constantly tell him to Savour those friendships and not have the same happen to him as has happened to me. Thank you!!!
Original post by Anonymous
Thank you for replying! Yes it's more I want to have the friendships he does, I've discussed it with him but I struggle to tell him fully what bothers me but thank you for recommending this!! It's difficult for me because he's like the only person I KNOW will talk to me and I think
Subconsciously I think if he's talking to his friends I've lost him, I know that's not the case and constantly tell him to Savour those friendships and not have the same happen to him as has happened to me. Thank you!!!

Your relationship probably wont last, none of them do.
What you do need if its causing you issues is to sort out what is putting people off or how you can improve to make friends. Those are life skills you can take with you. Sort it out thjs summer. It comes easier to some than others. I dont want to see you posting you are miserable at college and have no friends. Get the second hand copies plus there are other books, but they are a start and then you can understand how it all works, much better than me trying to explain in a single post. At least you want to address it. You should have cracked it by the time you go to uni.
Reply 4
Original post by 999tigger
Your relationship probably wont last, none of them do.
What you do need if its causing you issues is to sort out what is putting people off or how you can improve to make friends. Those are life skills you can take with you. Sort it out thjs summer. It comes easier to some than others. I dont want to see you posting you are miserable at college and have no friends. Get the second hand copies plus there are other books, but they are a start and then you can understand how it all works, much better than me trying to explain in a single post. At least you want to address it. You should have cracked it by the time you go to uni.


Thank you! I'm hoping this relationship will last tho as we've been through a lot together for like 3 years and stuff. I'm going to use this long summer to try and improve things and try to understand how to make friends etc. Again thank u for replying & recommending :smile:
Original post by Anonymous
Thank you! I'm hoping this relationship will last tho as we've been through a lot together for like 3 years and stuff. I'm going to use this long summer to try and improve things and try to understand how to make friends etc. Again thank u for replying & recommending :smile:

You can also take up a hobby or vol work and that gives you more exposure to people. Friends will give you independence, which is part of what you want.
Reply 6
Original post by 999tigger
You can also take up a hobby or vol work and that gives you more exposure to people. Friends will give you independence, which is part of what you want.


Yes, thank you :smile: I only have a couple of friends and I'm going to most likely lose them soon even though people say like that I live near them so we'll still be close to each other, it's a lie I know full well the friendships won't last / will change. So by September I'll have tried to work on myself so I can make friends :smile:
Original post by Anonymous
Yes, thank you :smile: I only have a couple of friends and I'm going to most likely lose them soon even though people say like that I live near them so we'll still be close to each other, it's a lie I know full well the friendships won't last / will change. So by September I'll have tried to work on myself so I can make friends :smile:

Its a mini practice for uni, at the beginning people are keen to make friends and then they clique off. It would be good if you know what you are doing and just find a couple of people to sit with. You will need to be a bit pro active. Fingers crossed you will understand how it works and then know what to do. Some people are naturals, but its a skill to learn.
Reply 8
Original post by 999tigger
Its a mini practice for uni, at the beginning people are keen to make friends and then they clique off. It would be good if you know what you are doing and just find a couple of people to sit with. You will need to be a bit pro active. Fingers crossed you will understand how it works and then know what to do. Some people are naturals, but its a skill to learn.


Makes sense, thank you! :smile:

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